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Personal Success Spell

You will need:

Get a gold pouch. Are we going to go through this every time? I know you don't have a gold pouch just laying around, so why are you saying, "Pouch? What pouch?" This is easy.... Really! Grab a little rectangle of gold cloth and sew up three sides and Presto! Chango! It becomes a pouch. Don't have any gold fabric? You can use green. Cool, huh?

Get some marigold petals and a little chunk of cedar. You're getting the hang of this now, aren't you? I noticed right away that you didn't have marigolds planted, but you took your trusty pocketknife and cut a chunk off your cedar suit hanger. Oh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone you're decimating a twelve dollar hanger for a success spell. You have to spend money to make money, don't you? Now, don't worry if you don't have the marigold petals. They're a nice touch, but not necessarily vital.

Get a crisp new one-dollar bill. I like crisp money! I like all money, even that odd stuff from... oh, forget it. You probably aren't interested in how I bought my way out of being catapulted into space along with an azalea bush and a ferret.

Carve a rune on your piece of cedar. You can draw the rune on your cedar with olive oil, if you have to. It's just more "special" if you carve it in. Really! Would I lie to you? Of course not, dear heart. Now carve carefully.... This particular talisman doesn't require blood and we don't want you hurt! Carve this rune on your chunk of cedar.

Fill your pouch. Put the carved chunk of cedar, the marigold petals (they're optional -- remember?) The crisp one-dollar bill in the pouch, Tie the top with a piece of green or gold string. Yes, of course yarn will work!

Are you ready for the best part? Go outside and hold your pouch up toward the sun and say,

"I call thee, Sun, to bring your power to me and infuse this Talisman with success and riches! So Mote It Be!" Now, lay your pouch where it will absorb the sun's rays and leave it there for at least an hour.

Sit around on a lawn chair and eat a couple of Moon Pies or sip a double chocolate malt. Again, this part is optional.... The sitting and sipping, that is. You have to leave your pouch in the sun, of course. Hum the theme from Dallas. (Optional) Paint your fingernails with alternating gold and cerulean stripes. (This, too, is optional.)

Brrrraaaaapppp! Time's up, love, Pick up your success pouch and stick it in your pocket or purse and keep it with you. As often as you can, hold it to the sun and visualize your goal of success and money, then return the pouch to your hiding-spot. Keep at it... keep at it... keep at it...

You did good, darling! Now all you have to do is focus on your dream for success and money, all right? All right! Wait... it will come as surely as the sun makes a tiny little seed grow into a mighty tree.

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