Patronus and Spirit Guide?

[Arakhne]

So, to be honest, this is kind of two questions at once, and just me rambling on about my experiences. but I'll try to word it well. I will probably fail horribly though.

Firstly, to summarize my childhood-- I had experienced bullying up until I was twelve. While this happened at school, my mother struggled with alcoholism and later, extreme paranoia. My father coped by hiding away at work and running off to a hotel whenever she had her nervous breakdowns. I stayed behind to make sure she didn't hurt herself.
Eventually, because her paranoia was directed at our neighbors, we moved to a temporary home by the time I was in 5th grade. The result was her paranoia going down, but her alcoholism continued. I enrolled in online school for a year, so my social interaction was limited to my mom and dad. I literally never left the house except for grocery trips. In seventh grade, we moved again, to a permanent home in an amazing school district, and I finally started to emerge from my shell in freshmen year.

Long story short, I had a very lonely childhood. But this brings me back to the initial question about my spirit guide and patronus.

Very often, when I was feeling exceptionally lonely in my room as a child, my spirit guide would manifest. I'm not sure if I'm using the correct term, or if she was in fact an angel. She certainly looked like one. She had long, light brown hair that seemed to float around her shoulders. Fair skin, rose-colored lips, and I think she had blue eyes. She would wear a white, long-sleeved dress, and she'd hold me gently while I cried. She never said anything, but she was so motherly, graceful, and beautiful. She would continue to appear until around 8th grade, and in retrospect, I think she was my first crush as well?

When we moved to our temporary home, it was very shabby. Bugs were a problem, but spiders always found their way into my room particularly. Having a fear of insects, I welcomed them, because they'd eat them. I don't think I've ever intentionally killed a spider in my life, to be honest. I always thought they were cute!

But whenever I would be lonely, or depressed, I would watch the spiders in my windowsill. Throughout my life, a spider would always appear around a horrible time. I don't think they were bad omens in the least-- Whenever I came across one, I would be filled with so much hope for the future, and knowledge that I was cared for. These feelings weren't my own, at the time, and I think that the spiders may have been endowing me with them. For the time I spent at the temporary house, the spiders and the angel would work in unison to influence my life and help me survive.

Now, the spirit guide has been gone from my life for a few years. Spiders continue to fill me with motivation, and I have a vibrant spiritual connection with them. They don't appear as often, although that may be because our home is now much more sturdy.

I just... I find myself missing her. I've never heard a name for her, but I would give anything for her to show herself once more. Is there any way to try and contact her again? Or, heck, was she even a proper spirit guide/guardian angel? Am I using the right words?

As for the Patronus. I would feel so much more comfortable calling spiders my Spirit Animal, but I have read studiously about how using the term can be offensive towards Native American culture, and that Patronus or Daemon should be used instead. But in many of the websites that discussed it's usage, it sounded like they were addressing it in context of the meme, such as "[Celebrity] is my Spirit Animal." Would it be offensive when used in this context? Am I interpreting my connection with them correctly?

[SirisDerp]

Personally, I prefer the term spirit guide or guide for short. I would suggest looking into the symbolism of the spider and any prominent figures in mythology that fits the image of this woman. I don't recognise your angel so apologies I couldn't say something more helpful to you. I wish you luck in getting back in touch with her.

[Lord_of_Nightmares]

You can also use the word fetch, familiar, or nahualli/nagual. Though nahualli and fetch seem to be the same and are a bit more specific than whatever animal you are attracted to. Nahualli is native American, it's Aztec. But no one cares if you use it because everyone has one, it's the animal that shares it's soul with you and you can turn into it in the dream world.

[SnowCat]

Despite what others may say, the concept of spirit animals is not exclusive to Native Americans. Factor in past lives, and you have even less cause to restrict the use of the term spirit animal. Many people may have spent a life as a Native American, and my have a past life memory of such. Patronus, is something I first heard of in connection with Harry Potter. I don't think we have much control over which animals present themselves to us, nor in how they identify themselves.

Snow

[jaybirdblue]

Eeeeeh, I would be careful on wording. Similarly smudging, two spirit (usually when referring to gender identity), and spirit animal are all terms that are very specific to Native American cultures and its easy to see how using those terms in every day life can be somewhat disrespectful. Especially because a lot of those terms refer to very specific rituals that are often watered down significantly by non native cultures. Smoke cleansing, for example, is not solely used by Native American cultures so there is nothing at all wrong with using sage or other herb bundles to cleanse your home, but "Smudging" has a ritual behind it that is pretty much reserved for those cultures that use it in their own ways. Of course, Native Americans are not one homogeneous group, so "Spirit Animal" isnt pulling from all of their unique cultures, but its juuuuust appropriative enough that steering clear of using that term of it is probably a good idea.

And I personally do not think that past lives give you free reign to use those terms and practices without having gone through some kind of initiation or have grown up in that culture in your current existence. Its very similar calling yourself African American because of a past life when you're a white Italian in this life.

To give you some other terms that you can use, Ive heard people use daemon and yes, Patronus. Heck, even spiritual guide animal is probably better than just Spirit Animal.

[RosieMoonflower]

My grandmother was a full blood Cherokee but she passed away when my mother was 14. So my mother and her brother were raised by their white father and pretty much ex communicated from the Cherokee community. Instead of helping my mother stay connected to her roots, they did as this post suggest and discouraged her use of anything that had to do with their culture, even certain words. My mother, not being one to quit, worked her whole life to learn the Cherokee language and customs anyway she could, and those who observed did not agree. If she wasn't taught by some elder than it wasn't "real" enough for them to accept. As an adult my mother finally got herself registered on the Cherokee nation role by providing her birth certificate. Now, my mother is extremely involved in Cherokee politics. The Cherokee nation has their own government that operates out of tahlequah, Oklahoma and my mother has worked on several campaigns for representative in the own "congress". Despite all of this the general Cherokee population does not accept her, she is not welcomed or accepted at pow wows, and not allowed to learn or witness and special rituals. So since she was raised by a Christian father, she remains Christian because she wasn't able to learn about anything else.

For me, from my perspective as her daughter, it just seems like this culture is desperate to hold onto its heritage that it does not want anyone who doesn't look like them using any little bit of it, not even the English words used to describe it. I think this is understandable based on how these people were conquered and removed to Oklahoma. They suffered so much loss and devastation of their homeland and culture. They were made to live in camps where they were discouraged from using their religion and customs. Their children were sent away and taught English and Christianity. Only a few remained and held onto their ancient customs. So I get it, I do.

However, even though I look white I have Cherokee ancestry. If you're not allowed to use any verbiage from any culture other than your own when it comes to your spirituality, then based on that logic, I should be a Christian and only use Christian terms to describe my spirituality. But, my spiritually goes far and above Christian beliefs. And, I need words to describe these things. For example, I have had spirit animals contact me in my dreams and send messages that they are nearby, looking after me, and there to help me if I need it, I only need ask. But, if I call them a spirit animal then that's offensive. So, is it okay if I reverse the words and use "animal spirit"? Or, do all of the members of my spiritual team need to be referred to as angels because that's what my culture taught me? I think if you use patronus you will probably not be taken very seriously because most people associate it with Harry Potter. As for "smudging", I often burn sage to cleanse my home and space of negative energy, though I wasn't taught this by a Native American, so again, calling it by the English word "smudging" is offensive. So last year or so I discovered I could cleanse space with a sound. I have a small crystal bell I use that produces a very high pitched ring. But, I wasn't raised by Tibetan monks so I'm sure it would be offensive for me to talk about how I do it because it won't be the same ritual they use. For, that matter I probably shouldn't use the term "meditation" anymore because I wasn't raised a Buddhist or Hindu. But, at least I can make up some other word that doesn't even mean the same thing and use it in place so that I don't accidentally offend Hindus and Buddhists.

I hope you're all catching my sarcasm. I'm sorry, but I'm a firm believer that for something to be truly offensive it has to be meant to be truly offensive. I also don't believe that I should have to go around making up words for things that I do to keep myself or my home spiritually sound. I think if Native American cultures want to keep some certain words to themselves they should try using the language that is specifically used by their culture and not try to claim those words in all other translated languages. That's just my opinion though..

Rosie

[jaybirdblue]

I mean, Im white and of European heritage, so I really dont have any say in what is and isn't ok either way. I personally just like to go out of my way to be careful that I'm not stepping on anyone's toes. Whether thats the right way for everyone, I dont know.

[SirisDerp]

My grandmother was a full blood Cherokee but she passed away when my mother was 14. So my mother and her brother were raised by their white father and pretty much ex communicated from the Cherokee community. Instead of helping my mother stay connected to her roots, they did as this post suggest and discouraged her use of anything that had to do with their culture, even certain words. My mother, not being one to quit, worked her whole life to learn the Cherokee language and customs anyway she could, and those who observed did not agree. If she wasn't taught by some elder than it wasn't "real" enough for them to accept. As an adult my mother finally got herself registered on the Cherokee nation role by providing her birth certificate. Now, my mother is extremely involved in Cherokee politics. The Cherokee nation has their own government that operates out of tahlequah, Oklahoma and my mother has worked on several campaigns for representative in the own "congress". Despite all of this the general Cherokee population does not accept her, she is not welcomed or accepted at pow wows, and not allowed to learn or witness and special rituals. So since she was raised by a Christian father, she remains Christian because she wasn't able to learn about anything else.

For me, from my perspective as her daughter, it just seems like this culture is desperate to hold onto its heritage that it does not want anyone who doesn't look like them using any little bit of it, not even the English words used to describe it. I think this is understandable based on how these people were conquered and removed to Oklahoma. They suffered so much loss and devastation of their homeland and culture. They were made to live in camps where they were discouraged from using their religion and customs. Their children were sent away and taught English and Christianity. Only a few remained and held onto their ancient customs. So I get it, I do.

However, even though I look white I have Cherokee ancestry. If you're not allowed to use any verbiage from any culture other than your own when it comes to your spirituality, then based on that logic, I should be a Christian and only use Christian terms to describe my spirituality. But, my spiritually goes far and above Christian beliefs. And, I need words to describe these things. For example, I have had spirit animals contact me in my dreams and send messages that they are nearby, looking after me, and there to help me if I need it, I only need ask. But, if I call them a spirit animal then that's offensive. So, is it okay if I reverse the words and use "animal spirit"? Or, do all of the members of my spiritual team need to be referred to as angels because that's what my culture taught me? I think if you use patronus you will probably not be taken very seriously because most people associate it with Harry Potter. As for "smudging", I often burn sage to cleanse my home and space of negative energy, though I wasn't taught this by a Native American, so again, calling it by the English word "smudging" is offensive. So last year or so I discovered I could cleanse space with a sound. I have a small crystal bell I use that produces a very high pitched ring. But, I wasn't raised by Tibetan monks so I'm sure it would be offensive for me to talk about how I do it because it won't be the same ritual they use. For, that matter I probably shouldn't use the term "meditation" anymore because I wasn't raised a Buddhist or Hindu. But, at least I can make up some other word that doesn't even mean the same thing and use it in place so that I don't accidentally offend Hindus and Buddhists.

I hope you're all catching my sarcasm. I'm sorry, but I'm a firm believer that for something to be truly offensive it has to be meant to be truly offensive. I also don't believe that I should have to go around making up words for things that I do to keep myself or my home spiritually sound. I think if Native American cultures want to keep some certain words to themselves they should try using the language that is specifically used by their culture and not try to claim those words in all other translated languages. That's just my opinion though..

Rosie

Hello, Rosie.

I understand what you're saying yet I believe you misunderstand the intention behind why others may recommend using different terms. It's more to avoid racial appropriation and offending others who may take offense. It's a recommendation because there are social justice people who will harp on this and give others a hard time regardless of how its defended. This discussion could also get into closed and open religions yet I rather not divert this forum from its original intention. Forgive me for commenting yet I felt I wanted to alleviate any bad feelings you could have gotten from reading the responses on this thread.

It's not an end all be all, this has to be done this way. It's a suggestion and nothing more. Wether it's followed is up to the person themselves.

As for you personally, you are part Cherokee. It's your ancestry, your blood, and it's a shame that happened to your mother and family. It's up to you if you want to use this term or that term.

It can become a problem when someone not of Cherokee ancestry begins using it and get out of hand by appropriating and turning into a racist thing. This discussion can take many turns over why this or that does or doesn't make sense. Everyone has their own opinions over why something should or shouldn't be done. I hope that alleviates any bad feelings you may have had over this thread.

[RosieMoonflower]

Thanks SirisDerp, No bad feelings here. Sorry if my post came off abrasive, it's just with my background, I have some strong feelings on this. I completely understand what you're saying as far as if someone is using the term in a racist way, that's never okay. For example I find it offensive when schools and universities use a Native American as a mascot and have someone dress as the mascot and do some "rain dance" or something for entertainment of people who don't appreciate the culture or the spiritual ritual that the dance represents. I agree that isn't okay, ever. But, as far as someone connecting with spiders and calling spiders their spirit animal, it really shouldn't matter what their heritage is. It's only offensive if the person saying it doesn't actually respect the culture or take the ritual seriously, as in memes saying [celebrity] is my spirit animal. It should never be for entertainment. Again, I apologize I let my emotions come through in that one. I typically deal with things through sarcasm. But, was my point not valid? If you can't use any terms except ones from the culture you were raised in than we should all stop using the word "meditation" unless we were raised in an eastern culture?

Rosie