Encounter with a Monster in a Labyrinth -Was This My Shadow?

[HopefulChild]

This seems as good a place as any to put this forth.
I've been struggling with some aspects of my spiritual life. I know Wicca is itself, a pretty big umbrella to cover a spectrum of concepts and beliefs.
Then you can run face first into Shamanism as Wicca, and for what seems like a reasonably large population that postulation seems to work for "a little while". Then incongruities in the systems kind of overlap and people start to wish wash back and forth, at least from what I've seen in my research of trying to understand how I want to apply what I feel is "real" to me.
So when asked by a Wiccan in person if I'm Wiccan, I say yes. Then I say, if I had to apply an accurate label I would say Paleo Shamanism, with Ancestor worship sprinkled liberally on it. So far the response has been "OH,,yeah, that makes sense". And then no further discussion occurs. It's frustrating.

The more I read and learn the more Shamanism doesn't feel like an accurate descriptor. At the same time I have had some experiences that prima facie fall directly into the shamanism classification.

So I would like to detail the most prominent experience. It's been months now and I can't stop thinking about it, so I'd just like opinions from people who have probably had many more discussions about this type of thing than I have.

This happened in April 2015 on Saturday the 18'th.

I went to sleep last night in a simple meditation opening myself up and petitioning my ancestors for guidance on how to help my son through whatever this thing is he’s going through.
Next thing I know I was in a maze. Labyrinth. Maze is the wrong word.
I knew that the Labyrinth was not something that you entered or left. It was perpetual and changing and growing with me as I grow and change. It was dark, really dark. There was a source of light but it seemed so small and so far away. Even being small and so incredibly far away it was brilliantly bright. I knew that if I were closer to it, it would be blinding in it’s strength. Like trying to look into a laser beam. It was comforting and let me see. I wasn’t inside a building, but I wasn’t outside either. There were no stars, no clouds, no world under or above this Labyrinth. The Labyrinth was it’s own thing. The Labyrinth and the light.
The Labyrinth walls were made of a dark stone, dark and worn and with lines and I almost want to call runes, but more like there was an unending novel chiseled into the surface of the stones in very fine, very small lettering that I couldn’t read, but there were larger more visible lines and edges that broke up the text and ran the length of the walls from one to the next in themes I could see but I couldn’t understand what the themes were. The walls were the color of old dried blood, or really really rich soil, like the red black silt mud that comes from river bottoms in really fertile areas. It wasn’t scary that the walls reminded me of dried blood because I had a sense of time. Ancient time accompanying the walls. It felt like I was supposed to be there and that the walls weren’t inert. The walls weren’t anything bad or frightening.
I wasn’t afraid of the Labyrinth. I had a sense that the Labyrinth was someplace I was ok in. And there were other things in the Labyrinth with me and I wasn’t afraid of them much. Cautious, but not afraid. Plants, animals, and “things”..I knew this and I was ok with all of it. I just wanted to read the walls. And I really felt like the walls wanted to be read. However silly that sounds, I told myself while I was in that moment to just accept it, and go with it.
There were no smells. No scents of any kind. I knew that I should be smelling things. I should smell earth, and age, and plants and wild air, if that makes sense. I thought for a second then that I was probably dreaming but I quickly realized that I’d never been so conscious in a dream before. It wasn’t foggy and soupy like dreams. It was as real as any other real place I’ve ever visited. I was thinking very clearly as well. I was still focused on the “untamed air”, that is a description that I was thinking when I was utterly overcome by terror. Real terror, just uncontrolled, unexpected fear, like I haven’t experienced in a dream before. I was so scared I couldn’t move. I shrank down where I was and froze, trying not to breath and looking all around without moving my head. My back and left side were against stone, which was damp and comfortingly cool. Comforting because I was sweating and felt like my insides were on fire and my sweat was stinging my eyes and even stinging my lips and tongue where it rolled down my face and over my lip. The stone wall was cool and solid and I needed it. I needed it to hold me up.
My beard was gone, my glasses were gone, my jewelry and earrings and so on were gone. I was clothed. Khaki I think...simple pants and shirt like I was on safari. I was wearing boots, but not my boots. Someone else's boots.
I was trying to understand why I was so afraid, and trying to make myself move. I’m not a fearful person. I’m cautious, but I keep moving. Move or die. In this dream I was completely frozen. And I know it was me, it wasn’t someone else or a past life, it was the me that I am now.
That is when I heard something moving near to me and I held my breath. Something came into my view that was just gigantic. The word Jabberwock popped into my head and then Chimera, and then Evil. And I’m not a proponent of “evil” as a concept. Serpentine...Animal...Strong. Definitely strong, powerful and ancient. I would say dragon but that doesn’t feel right and it wasn’t just one thing. It was shifty, it was parts mashed together and moving around. It spoke.
It said “Where is it”. “Can’t Hide”, “ I know where”. Speaking was sound, but it wasn’t words, it was a combination of rumbles and noises that held these meanings and it was kind of all happening at the same time. Once a concept like “can’t hide” was understood, but wouldn’t be finished when, “I know where” started existing and shaking the air. It was hunting me. I know now and I knew then it was hunting me. It was just feet away from me, moving and it was getting angry. I could feel it’s anger and frustration. Like I said it was shifty, while I was looking at it, sweat was getting in my eyes and I was tearing up due to fear and things were blurry but I can’t say that the blurriness was JUST because of sweat and tears. The thing was blurry. It wasn’t the same all the time. It changed and would be scaly and then smooth and slimy, and then bristley with patchy fur. It was different from one second to the next. Each movement, changed it. I also knew that it was immense. What I could see, was so little of it. It was massive and I would never understand it “as a whole”...I just knew that.

Then it’s “head” swung around on a long neck and it’s head was dragon like, but not a dragon. It was toothy and reptilian and at the same time not. It had eyes but the number and size were changing and it swung it’s head right up to me. I was more scared than I have ever felt in my life.
It was still “saying” the same things but it’s frustration was so much higher and intense, I was getting irritated and frustrated at myself for making the situation so inconvenient for this thing. How crazy is that. I knew I shouldn’t move. Shouldn’t breath, shouldn’t do anything that would make me more visible. That’s when I realized that I was invisible to it. It could sense me but it couldn’t find me and that is why it was so angry. It wanted me. I don’t know what for. Would it eat me, torture me, kill me, possess me, I don’t know. All of those things seemed like they were possible right then. And it was now only inches away. Sniffing the stone wall and the air around me and rumbling in frustration. I could feel the walls and air and ground vibrate every time it “spoke”.
Then this thing that I am going to call a tongue came out of what I will call it’s mouth. Neither of those descriptions is accurate, but it’s the closest I can get. The tongue came out and was impossibly long and dextrous and mobile. More like an elephant trunk, and it started sweeping and sliding around on the wall and ground around me and it was getting closer and closer and it finally touched me. It touched my face and my hair and my arms and shoulders and I was screaming inside. It was cold slime. Cold awful slime, touching me with weight. I was holding my breath, and my head and heart were pounding and my face was hurting from the grimace on my face. It felt like my face muscles were cramping from the expression of disgust and revulsion I couldn’t stop making. I couldn’t calm down, I couldn’t convince myself it was going to be ok. At the same time I knew that I was invisible for the moment. I could mess it up if I moved or gave myself away, but if I could just hold on a little longer, I’d make it. I was being shielded. I was being protected. It was a bad situation, and someone was keeping me safe. I could feel it.

I woke up holding my breath and trying to decide if I should breath. I didn’t want to move. I could feel tears on my face and my head was pounding. I could feel every heartbeat like a hammer inside my skull. That’s when I wondered if something had changed. There was no rumble, no cold slime. I actually felt very warm and something was covering me.(blanket) I was still trying not to breath but I opened my eyes and nothing made any sense. It was still kind of dark but I was seeing walls and the window and curtains. I heard the fan, I heard the baby monitor and I heard my wife breathing. So I took a tiny breath and had a swimmy feeling in my head that almost made me black out. I wiped my face, looked around the room and started telling myself it was just a dream and that I was ok and safe and I should go back to sleep. I started breathing and trying to calm myself down and surprisingly I calmed down quickly and went back to sleep.

The memory of what happened hasn’t diminished, or expanded over time. What is written above has been several weeks ago now. Usually a dream you remember grows or shrinks. You add to it if you feel like there was some meaning and exaggerate elements for whatever reason. I haven’t. The only change I have made is to acknowledge that Maze is the wrong word and to change the instances of Maze to Labyrinth.
I remember it so clearly and so completely. It was almost as real as my everyday life.
I really want to go back there. I want to spend more time in my labyrinth. I don’t so much want to confront that monster, which I am a little worried, might be my shadow. But I’d like to be back in that place and start to read, and learn and find the other things that were existing there that weren’t so terrible.


I haven't been able to meditate at all since that event. Every time I try, I get set upon by distractions, noises, phantom itching...just anything that pops up seems to break my focus.
Is it possible that I met my shadow?
Is it possible I wasn't ready for it so my ancestors shielded me?
I'm a pretty normal guy, I try my best, and I try to help people. I have a long fuse, but when I get angry, I let myself feel it. If that was my shadow...what does that mean? It was...like Movie monster sized. And horrible.
What does that make me?


Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm trying to understand it, and I'm just looking for informed opinions.

[Becks]

Hi there Hopefulchild.

I'd like to sit with this and reflect on it before I comment. I'm a bit tired and while I do have impressions-I want to give your vision (because that's what it is) some further thought.

[mrsdavid1975]

How old is your son?

[HopefulChild]

Thanks Becks, I appreciate it.

mrsdavid1975 The one I was worried about is 17.

We have been blessed with the burden of glorious balance. 3 boys, 3 girls. 19G, 17B, 16B, 15B, 2G and 1G.

He's still being an ass, but at least he's chosen a direction. lol

[Vesca]

So here are the big focus points I'm getting from your description: labyrinth (changing), serpentine creature (changing), being hunted, being invisible, and fear (of the creature, not the labyrinth).


The labyrinth is likely your life. Ever changing, ever shifting, and you must continuously walk it even though you won't escape life's twists and turns and unexpected ventures. The significance of the "old" passage is probably where your ancestors are making themselves known. You enter into a space where they have a presence, and it's there you meet this creature that comes looking for you and instills fear.

The creature's significance is something you'll have to figure out. It could be something your son is struggling with. The fact that its form changes consistently is probably significant in that whatever it is, it is not a simple concept. There's also the possibility that it's a thought-form, a fear of being hunted or stalked and that your (or your son's) mind hasn't been able to fully grasp the threat yet so it comes across as being unknowable, mindless, and lethal.

As to being invisible. To me, invisibility signifies that it's important to observe the situation in full rather than reacting before you know what's really going on. I've also heard that invisibility can come across when your subconscious is trying to show you how you feel about your ability to act, react, make a difference, or be noticed (ie. you feel invisible to others).

Only you will be able to figure out the real meaning behind your journey, but hopefully some of the ideas generated in this thread will give you a starting point to figuring out what interpretations feel right to you and maybe lead to your own answers.

[Becks]

I agree with the central themes that Vesca came up with. I have noticed in my short time here that Vesca has a special way of responding to dream questions. She appears, to me, to be adept at dream interpretation and especially the use of symbols and relating these symbols to the dream and the dreamer.

The impressions I was receiving were also leading me to think that the labyrinth is a metaphor for the "higher self life/spiritual path" construct. As I read I saw the twists and turns as the folds of the cortex of the brain. That was my signal. The blood like feeling from the wall and the secret hidden writings were making me think of the deep ancestral memory we each have locked inside our bodies and spirits. Difficult to access, and often unclear yet they are a deep part of us. You would feel okay in the labyrinth because it is of 'you' so to speak.

As Vesca did-I also have the impression that the ever-changing dark being was in relation to the shadow self. Shadow work is very hard and frightening work. You went to sleep trying to petition your ancestors for help regarding your son. I believe you received the help. Steven Covey says, "First seek to understand, then seek to be understood". I think that awful construct of fear connects to both you and your son. I don't know what your dynamic is like with your son, or what it is he is going through, but I think you were shown this because of course you two are part of the same ancestral lineage. I wondered if you are supposed to remember back to a time where you were feeling trapped and wrestling with trying to understand what is unknowable? Right now you are trying to grapple with self identification and the craft...your son is at a very formative and frightening age...no matter what he portrays.....you couldn't pay me to be 17 now. There are many oppressive forces for young people and I'm sure it's more difficult then ever for young people to find their way. I work with many youth at risk and youth in general. It's truly oppressive..all of the choice all of the limitations. I'm just blabbing here....but I think maybe you are being shown that your current conundrums in life aren't that dissimilar. You were shown how it feels, and remembered what it was like to be truly vulnerable. As adults we have the illusion that we have some measure of control. We layer this on and forget we don't have control....These layers accumulate and distance ourselves from our young selves and we can forget.

Now, I'm not saying you are a bad Dad. I hope that's clear. I can tell you love your son very much. You love him enough to delve into a deep dark place with a low vibration to seek to understand and help him. That says so much about the kind of man, and Dad, that you are. I also believe young people need boundaries and that's a big deal. He is on the cusp of so much, and more than anything he needs you-though they would never admit this....I think he needs you on his level remembering the labyrinth. You felt the plants and animals, ancestors and allies in there and that's important. We are not alone in our walk of the labyrinth.

I would like to say, in my experience, that what I call the "vision quality" dreams are unique and you can tell the difference between an 'I ate cheese dream', a regular dream, and a vision. I think in dreams and visions we go to places and feel energies from outside ourselves and I think that may have compounded your dream. Lower level energies can meet us in these places of vision. I think they are the energies that pull at us everyday. The being of fear and oppression was perhaps the shadow, but it was so much more because I think you were allowed a glimpse at the lower level energies that are a part of daily life (affecting you and your son) and you really 'felt' them in your dream state.

This could possibly account for the difficulty you are experiencing when you go to do meditation and 'work'. Your auric field may need a little clearing and shoring up. Seraphin Murmur just wrote an excellent article on cleaning the space and also shielding the self. It's a wonderful resource. You may also have a practice you do as it sounds like you are firmly planted on this path. Perhaps do a gut check and ask yourself if you need a bit of self care in that way. See what comes up. I'd certainly be curious.

I hope you and your son are able to work through this. I wish you lots of the good stuff to aid you both in your way.

[Vesca]

I agree with the central themes that Vesca came up with. I have noticed in my short time here that Vesca has a special way of responding to dream questions. She appears, to me, to be adept at dream interpretation and especially the use of symbols and relating these symbols to the dream and the dreamer.

If your goal of the day was to make me blush, you've succeeded.

Becks is right, the creature could well be the shadow self and 17 is a very tumultuous age. I can't speak as a parent (no kids), but perhaps if you feel this interpretation has some merit it may be worth looking into ways to make sure your son has that stability/grounding factor in his life (within your own limits of course).

I'm getting ahead of myself though. Sort the interpretation first, then you'll be able to find the best route to addressing it.

[Becks]

I think it's one of your super powers!

[HopefulChild]

I appreciate both of your responses. There is a lot to consider in what you've written and your interpretations.
I don't want either of you to think I"m dismissing your interpretations. I will consider everything you've written and I'll re-read it a dozen more times easily. But I'm also trying to get out ahead of information I feel I may have worked out for myself already in the months since this took place.

What my son was going through is pretty normal. He's 17. We've reached an equilibrium on responsibilities and his procrastination of moving forward with a more adult outlook on life. I feel like he is doing ok. I do tarot for myself and my family, not daily, but every few weeks. It has really expanded my tool box for parenting to get glimpses of things and get a little hint of how I can help. It's working.

A few things I'd like to expand on from the experience.

Most important to me is that I still feel strongly that it wasn't a dream. It was far too stable and consistent. Maybe I should have explained that I'm a lucid dreamer. I always know when I am dreaming. When I was 7 right after my father died, I had a nightmare 3-4 nights a week. The same nightmare, 3-4 nights a week. For years. As time went on I started going to bed at night knowing I was going to have the dream so I would try to change the dream. By the time I was 11 or so I couldn't change the dream, but I could stop it. Ever since then I've always been aware of when i am dreaming. I even have dreams now where I know I'm dreaming, but I'm acting out the dream with my body, and I have to wake myself up to stop moving around in bed. Sometimes that sucks, because sometimes they are really interesting dreams...but I don't sleep alone. LOL So ..it can get weird.
Knowing that you aren't dreaming, but you know you aren't awake. That was a pretty serious hit to my psyche. I'd only been cognizant of the expansion of my reality with spiritual reality for 4-5 months previous to this event. I'm still really really new to Wicca. While I feel that I've been a spiritual person for my entire life, literally from the age of 5, through 38, I was a scientist and atheist. Facts, and Reason, and Emotion, and Perception. That's what we get, those are our tools, and that is all we get. So I can't impress upon you how important it is for me to point out that I know when I am dreaming and that this event wasn't a dream.

So what in your opinion is the difference between dream, and vision, and spirit journey? If you make a distinction between the three at all?

The place that I was in. The labyrinth. I feel very strongly that it was a real place. Not a metaphor, or an intellectual or emotional construct. It was a place. I've been doing research, non stop since that day, well whenever I get some time that I can, and while Labyrinths keep coming up in Shamanism discussions, I haven't read of another situation similar to mine. Usually someone is visualizing a walk through the woods and they dig a hole and eat some dirt and then they are in the underworld. Well I don't know about "the underworld"...I have read about the 3 worlds, Lower, Middle and Upper. The reality I know on a daily basis is supposed to be the Middle. Then there is the under and the over.
I've read some about the difference between these 3 levels but nothing that seems to hint at what I felt and saw and where I was. Here is the thing. The labyrinth felt like it's own little bubble, outside of the reality I was familiar with. I could feel that it was separate.

And I don't know what that means.

Now the "Monster". I understand that in the spirit world there are animals and so on. I've also read a bit about Dragons and giant serpents being agents of Chaos. That they are physical manifestations of universal chaos and the attempt to achieve balance. I'm willing to concede that my interpretation of that creature was so shifty because my mind literally couldn't yet make sense of what I was experiencing, and this new element of a giant creature was just too much for me to handle.
Here is what freaks me out about potential shadow self.
What kind of person has a shadow self that so dwarfs their conscious self to the point that an interaction between the two looks like a man standing next to a dinosaur?
Everything I've read about the shadow, and shadow work implies that our shadows are simply the parts of ourselves that we haven't been able or willing to acknowledge and deal with and they solidify over time. An old man who meets his shadow for the first time may experience a shadow like obsidian, so solid and dense as to be stone glass. A young man, or a very honest man, will meet their shadow and that may be like seeing mist in the morning, so thin and hazy as though it could be torn to shreds by a single breath.

Have you ever read or heard of someone being protected from their own shadow? Shielded by "someone" when their shadow tried to interact with them?
I've never even read about a persons shadow being aggressive, or antagonistic. Spirit guides or spirit animals and so on wanting to take a bite of, or eat a person in the spirit world, I've read about. The more of you they want to eat the better the meeting is I think is one thing I read.

The aspects associated with my son I don't think had much impact. It was April when this took place and all the kids are doing fine. The bumps I've had with him aren't overly dramatic, just teenager stuff. Independence and so on.

[Becks]

What is the difference between a dream, a vision, and a spirit journey? You ask...well I'm not sure what others will say but I feel like some dreams are the brain working out the mundane.....events of the day or random happenings, and even the crazy ones that come after eating certain foods....I call those ones the 'cheese dreams'. In my life I think of 'vision quality dreams' as the ones that are particularly clear, impactful and they simply 'feel' different or significant. I often get messages in these ones. In terms of the 'spirit journey' I think when we sleep our spirits can journey out from our bodies and engage in the astral. I have traveled like this...some people do it awake or in meditation. I'd be curious to hear what others have to say about this.

I have heard stories about a person's shadow being antagonistic, and shadow work being extremely intense. Especially when someone has the ability to really delve deeply. The size of the shadow represented for our minds isn't necessarily in direct proportion to aspects of the self, and it's not a judgement on my part. I just want to be clear about that.

What is excellent is that it sounds to me like you know inside that this is not the correct interpretation for you. You do not feel it was your shadow self, and instead you feel like it was something else entirely. It sounds to me like you already have impressions about what your vision/journey does mean. Maybe you have an impression about what you came in to contact with. I always think that the person who had the experience, saw the symbols, or met the 'being' has the best ability to discern for himself what was actually going on. I hope you keep me posted!

[HopefulChild]

I've had 4 months to ponder it. And look things up and so on.

I have to admit many of my concerns run in the vein of "judgement", simply because that is the frame of reference I've spent the last 35 years existing in. A baptist upbringing, with all of the small town trappings that go along with it. Having judgement levied against me feels par for the course for anything I'm doing.

And I don't know that the interpretations that have been put forth are not the correct ones for me. Which is why I will read them again and again, and again lol.

You seem right about the vision, and my own feelings reinforce that you are right. It felt so different and so clear I knew it wasn't a dream. So vision or journey, but it was still a construct for my mind. Not me physically being somewhere else.
I just miss it. I wish I could go back there.

So I'm right back to the possibility that I did encounter my shadow. And thank you for the concept that size isn't necessarily proportional. That actually gives me comfort.

Now here is where things get fuzzy for me. Is shadow entirely a Jungian concept, or is it older? While I've studied paleo and ancient religions as much as I can, there is a significant difference between how a Christian historian or Atheist Anthropologist will describe what they think they have learned about religions of antiquity, and what someone who researches it for posterity and practical use would explain they have learned.

I know Jung studied many spiritual systems to understand how humans acknowledge those unique aspects of ourselves into psyche, mainly, our souls or spirit. Do you know of collections of stories about shadow work? I'll have to use the search button on the forums .
Let me get back on track. Every account I've read of "meeting the shadow" are so similar that they start to run together. Someone spends a significant amount of effort to describe how they meditated, which drum track they used, where they found/placed themselves to start their journey, when they saw their shadow, and then how they accepted their shadow and that is it.
Not to be insulting or dismissive to the people who have had that experience, but I haven't read an instance of shadow work where someone says they learned something about themselves.

[Becks]

Good morning HopefulChild.

I just want to reiterate how much I am enjoying talking to you, and that I appreciate very much what you have to share and to say. If anything came across as judgemental then that is not my intention at all. If I have said something that upsets you specifically-please do feel free to send me a pm and I'd love to clear that up.

I think that as with the term 'Wicca' the term 'Shadow' also gets some heat and some exceptionally varied opinions and understanding. I have heard those stereotypes also.

I think that many people across time, space, and theoretical frameworks look at the idea of the separation of self into some approximation of who they are....they sift the aspects of self and separate the characteristics that are desirable from the characteristics that are less desirable. As humans we like to seperate, categorize, and put things in "boxes" with labels. So we might call an aspect of our self our Holy Guardian Angel (HGA). The HGA for short is also referred to as our "higher self". I don't doubt that you have heard these terms bandied about. Freud called this our "Superego". On the other hand we have the idea of the "id", or the unconscious self or shadow. As you mentioned educated theorists from dominant cultures do label these things and through lenses....attempt to name these aspects of the self. Parts of the self are just more for the grand theorists to chew on. I am encouraged that the people in academia are slowly moving away from the practice of the "grand theory".

I do have to say I like Jung a great deal. I think he was closest as he left room for possibility of more....of the self and experiences beyond definition. He was an academic indeed, but he was deeply biased in terms of being spiritual, and I like that. Bad science, but Interesting thoughts.

In terms of Anthropology and other societies....there is much variation on shadow work. I think that you have to frame it differently because the people are different cultural beings and it would not be looked at as the same thing...in many Indigenous societies people would spend time alone at certain times in their life, be in some form of coming of age seclusion, or a shaman goes out to a hillside to pray and fast for himself or his people. These practices were from an oral people and a closed society. We won't know exactly what was encountered. I think it was more holistic then our ideas of dealing with the shadow. A person may be thinking of themselves in terms of family or community and figuring out their role for being a member in good standing of that community....working on the social, personal and spiritual identity perhaps?

I try to keep in mind that I am a cultural entity raised where I was raised, how I was raised (Catholic) and that everything I see is viewed through a distinct set of lenses. When I formulate an opinion it is through my lenses. It is always inherently biased and probably different from your truth. I can pick out ways in which we share similarities, Christian households, time in University settings, logical minds...but that still isn't enough for me to see and experience the world, or your vision as you did. If you feel or know something to be true then it probably is. This is where my old ideas of 'faith' raise up, but I have faith it was a real and important experience that you can come to understand in a way that is uniquely you-because it was all about you.

Like I have said your vision is yours. It came from within, and probably without, and so you are really the best person to connect with it, tease out the threads that are central and important and follow those threads to the source and understanding.

[HopefulChild]

I got through a pretty big response and when I hit post, it gave some timed out error.

I've run out of time to go through that again. We are supposed to pack up the toddlers and take them to the park soon so I won't be able to run back through my thought process until later.

I understand you aren't applying judgement so don't worry about that. I have been judging myself and worrying that if that creature was in fact part of my shadow self, then what kind of horrible person must I be if my shadow is so monstrous.

The other things I had written about:
Jung. I think he is a great scientist and thinker for his ability to remain humble and acknowledge that there probably IS much more to the universe than we can currently measure.

My labyrinth being a shared space with me and my ancestors.

Vescas interpretation of my invisibility. I'm annoying in real life, so I don't feel invisible. I'm kind of loud and out front all the time. I wanted to explain that the invisibility really felt like someone was covering me with something, like plastic wrap, so that the creature couldn't touch me. The creature being as strong as it was, could still sense me.
Kind of like wrapping a cut onion in plastic wrap and putting it in the refrigerator. Someone who could only search the refrigerator with their tongue would have a hard time finding an onion wrapped in plastic wrap. Make sense?
The analogy is crude but I am short on time lol.

Something else, is that I think what I experienced wasn't short term or small scale. The way I do most things is "big picture", so I think that vision also was well beyond the scale of everyday events and concerns and I was supposed to learn something about the scope of what I am attempting to undertake in my new spiritual path.
Does that make sense?

Feel free to chime in with any ideas or point me to discussions you would like me to partake in.

I will look for Seraphin Murmurs article as you suggested. I'd really like to meditate and see if I can get back to that labyrinth.
Does that sound like a bad idea to try to go there again?

[Becks]

All of what you said makes perfect sense to me. I don't think attempting to reconnect with the labyrinth is a bad thing at all. Ceremonial magicians navigate the tree of life, the sepheroth and the pathways all the time. A shaman journeys regularly.

[HopefulChild]

Now I have time.

I have really enjoyed reading the opinions and information provided. I don't want to gush.
I'm just excited. My wife and I don't have any practicing friends or relatives. The internet is still the internet, and honestly I was coming to the opinion that facebook had killed forums. So many of the forums I had found are pretty much dead and inactive.
Luckily this one isn't.

One thing I need to guard against is putting in information that isn't relevant. I knew my son wasn't part of the equation in that experience the very next morning. I was conversationally explaining what I was doing and then didn't clear that up, so I can see how that one bit of information threw a completely different aspect on my experience.

Not long ago, I was telling my best friend about the changes that have happened in my life since getting that psychic reading after my brother died. He is a skeptic like me, and pretty smart, though I really think he needs to do more research, and be more honest when he explains problems.
I was telling him because he struggles with clinical depression. He's had many low points in the last few years where ending his own life has seemed like a real possibility to him to end his suffering.
I don't suffer from depression, so I can't understand what he is going through, but I try to learn what I can do, and what doesn't help, and he has told me that my stepping in at certain times has made a difference for him. This isn't pat on the back information, just context.
I wanted to explain how things are changing for me in hopes that he would be able to grasp it, and follow it and find something himself that would help him. Honestly I feel like we have similar outlooks on reality and our cosmological models aren't dissimilar to the degree that we can't actively discuss topics on a theoretical or hypothetical level and still come away feeling like we've learned something. That's a big deal! With bonfires and holidays, and connecting with other people and even the most rudimentary function of magic, divination, I was hoping that he would be able to see potential even if he didn't instantly believe me.
When I explained the WHY of how I came to my path, he actually felt tingles and got excited that maybe something more was available and he knows he can trust me, so it was a good place to start.

I understood right then, what it must be like for evangelical christians and mormons and other people who feel like they have a truth or answer and they go from door to door trying to share what they feel is an awesome awesome gift. I was proselytizing for paganism LOL. And I felt like a whore. LOL. But I wanted to help my friend. And I didn't see the warning signs that were being offered to me and I ignored my instinct which told me, NEVER PROSELYTIZE!

I took him to the person who did my tarot reading. Which was INSANELY accurate for me. He began his reading as skeptical as I had. But he predicated his reading off of false information, and then after I pointed that out to him, he didn't understand why the error in the situation was his. He said "The psychic should have known I'm not suicidal anymore and been able to work around that"..

Literally the question he asked for his tarot reading was "How will my daughter fare, if I hang myself soon"....now this question by his own admission was pointless because he stated that he has been feeling optimistic and does think that hurting himself is as much a possibility now as it was. He wants to see where his story goes.
So I was blown away that he asked a question for which there is no answer because it's a hypothetical question, predicated on information he feels isn't true or accurate.
Right!
So after the initial question he asked, got a gibberish answer, and even Mary said she wasn't getting clear signals (big surprise) he just wrote the whole experience off as chicanery.

We haven't spoken as much after that other than pleasantries. I know that his opinion of me is now on the same level as his opinion of a fundamentalist christian or muslim. He has labeled me religious nut. Worse still, I'm not even a mainstream religious nut, I'm one of the magic rainbow fairy people.

The point is that, I know what a small slip of information, or context, means to a grand scheme, and I want to make sure that you, (Becks, and Vesca) don't feel as though I asked for opinions on information I knew to be inaccurate just to argue with your opinions.

I get it, and the mistake in this story relay was all mine.

Thank you for all the time you've put in to this thread for me.