Hell Houses Suck.

[Schatten-Katze]

Okay. This is what I'll say. If you ever have the chance to go to a Christian "Haunted House" (ie Hell House, more on that later), don't. They really are just annoying. We all know what the worst of Fundamentalists are like, right? Pretty damn annoying. How about when they decided to open an extremly thinly veiled Evangalistic tool, and pass it off as a "Fun Time"? They suck worse. Why? Okay, from where I live, it was a 45-60 minute drive. Not so bad. Get there, see a long line. Expected. Realize, later, you've been in line for two hours, and only now can you see the entrance to the place. With luck, in another hour, you'll be at the door. Which was a cheap steel industrial locker type. The doorman asked us to pray, and recited a verse. I didn't. We went in. Then, we met the ushers-guides, who had to use faux-militaristic attitudes. We get scanned for metal items. I pass, as does everyone else. Now, we wait in three more, aleibet vastly small ( 4-6 people) in two files. We finally enter. By now it's been around three hours, twenty minutes. But hey, I'm amped. I'm finally here! WOO! First thing- we get schooled on what we can't do - cameras, ect. The first thing was a car wreck. I give them this- they did very well on that. It looked amazing, almost real, severed limbs and all. of course there was an electric line above us, but that- that is to be thought of. After a moment, it's suspender was slackened, and it made a few of us jump or flinch. Then, the magical voice that narrorated the whole deal made a foul sprite about us thinking we're "Invincible". Next, suicide! Parents yelling. The father actor was kinda half-assing it though. Then, sterotypical little sad sobbing girl in her room. Grab a revolver from under her bed, shoves the barrel in her mouth, bang. Did rig a red splatter effect. About it for that one. I'll try to shorten this up a bit... Gang fight. People yelling in Spanish. Gang rape. Drive by. All Dead. Next - Drugs. Exageratred massivley. I'll make no secret of this, I've smoked Weed before. Haven't for over a year. Probably won't again.. Moving on, not much really happened there. Someone puked. Smelly actors walk front-body pressed against you. next- Grave. Not much, see some people in corpse paint. Walls close in about three feet. Now, the conversion. the voice that's been guiding us starts to ramble about the way that if we want to be saved from all of this, guess who can help, and only who? If you guessed Jesus, you'd be right. Three rooms, Cruxifixing, Hanging on Cruxifix, and Burial Chamber. Re-inforced the idea that Jesus Is the ONLY way to be saved. Many times. Then, a final room, where we are greeted associates of the places, workers who are there to recieve feedback. I was nice, my mother's friend took me there. I wouldn't be an ass. If I go again, I will. But not that time. And then we left. And hour to get there. Three hours in line. An hour back. For a f*cking half-hour of Fundamentalism. I felt like I sure used my night well. sm154

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