My friend Marie

[Xiao Rong]

I've been thinking about my friend, whom I'll call Marie for now, and I wanted to write something about her in this forum ... She passed away a little under a year ago. We met freshman year of college, and we were good friends, although we drifted apart during the next few years (we were both quite busy in college). She was such a lively, kind person, with more imagination and creativity in her heart than I can even begin to guess. I will always remember her for sweet smile and the cuddles we shared (she liked to cuddle a lot). She committed suicide a few months after we graduated. There was also a lot that most people didn't know about her - that I didn't know about her, sadly enough. And even though I think a lot of people showed her how much they loved her in her final days, there must have been a lot of sadness in her heart that nobody could change.

She touched a lot of people's lives, and I still see some of her paintings and artwork in the places we frequented ... we had many friends in common, so losing her was like tearing a chunk out of the hearts of nearly everyone I know. My last memory of her is of her playing with dogs and piglets on my friend's farm, and frolicking in the nearby river with my friends on a warm summer day. Even though it's been nearly a year since she left us, sometimes I still can't really wrap my head around the fact that I will never see her again - like next time my friends and I get together, she'll be there too, smiling and partaking of the milk and cookies. Every time I remember that she's really, totally gone, it hits me like a truck. But even though I'm so, so sorry she's gone and that she was in pain while she lived and died alone and I wish she hadn't, there's a part of me that's glad that she's found peace.

Rest in peace, Marie. I love you and I'm thinking about you.

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I'm terribly sorry to hear of someone so young, full of life , thinking things are so bad, that taking their life is the only option... However, what's done, cant be undone, and I feel your anguish.
It will take time... Lean on friends and your Deity(s) for help and guidance. And may the Goddess embrace your friend in her loving arms.
)0(

[Xiao Rong]

Thanks, Mama ... your words mean a lot to me. Today's one of the days where it really hurts that she's gone. Sometimes I really want to believe in heaven and that I'll see her again and stuff, but I don't believe in the afterlife ... I'm just happy that she's not in pain anymore and she touched a lot of people's lives for the better.

[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I'm glad you were touched by someone.. Whatever your belief system..
She touched your life.
I think now, you understand how suicide effects everyone around the person, and through your experiences, you might be able to help someone in the future.
)0(
May you feel at ease, your ache quieted from pain...