My soulson

[Eclipse2010]

I'm just putting this out here because I need to talk about it. I first met my soulson 3 years ago when he was 15. I'm 5 years older than his mother. I knew from the moment I met him that I would do anything within my power to help him in any way he needed. He comes and goes from my life. Sometimes he lives with me and my husband for several months at a time. I'm always so happy when he's here! And he's growing up to be such a decent person despite horrible things in his "birth" family.

My problem is that I'm so sad and depressed when he's away. He was recently here for 2 months, but went back to his birth family a few weeks ago. When he's away, I have very little contact with him. His choice. He likes to focus on being where he is when he's there, which is, I suppose, a good way to be. I have to let go and let him be and live his life. I know in my heart of hearts that he'll be back in my life and that he'll be a part of my life for the rest of my life. But letting go is so hard!

I don't have any children of my own, and I haven't had the benefit of having him around for 18 years. So I'm not ready to let go when he's ready to leave! But I have to.

Fortunately, his birth mother understands the relationship he has with me and my husband. The rest of his family... he lies to them about where he's at when he's spending time with us. We live in different states, quite some distance apart, so that is hard for him as well. I know he feels torn, and I don't want to tear at him.

How do I not be sad and depressed when he's away? How do I learn to let go of a son I've had such a short time?

[Eclipse2010]

I thought this fit in this thread. Our soul son (my husband feels the same way though has less patience).... I don't know. I guess it was my fault. We got him his first car (a $200 clunker although we did think it was good--1989 Toyota Camry). The engine caught on fire and the wiring harness burnt out. What to do? We don't have a lot of money to throw at the problem.

I guess I'll know more tonight at more details become clear. This may have been the Goddess' way of keeping him out of trouble. He is a wylde chylde.

Peace to you, as I hope I find myself.
Eclipse2010