I am so so happy. I'm sure some people have seen my complaining and puzzling about my boyfriend...well, he's now my ex.
In retrospect, I feel like I was supressing something in me...square peg in a round hole type scenario...like we just didn't fit together the way you "should" in a relationship. After I broke up with him my mood swings lifted, I no longer worry I might be depressed, I feel lighter, free and happy. He wasn't particularly a bad guy...maybe not as honest as I thought, I've heard so many things but no way to know what's true...anyway, I feel as though all my emotional issues were there because I was pretending that was what I wanted, ignoring what now seems so bloody obvious!
At the time of writing, I'm sitting in the house of a totally gorgeous man, who I am absolutely crazy about. He has loved me since he's known me and has been there for me every minute, even when my problems were with the last boyfriend. He's been an amazing friend to me. He cheers me up when nothing else can. I can't explain it. He's different to anyone I've ever known, and something in me just needs him. He is a beautiful soul, and he lifts my heart, it sounds so cliche but I absolutely adore him. Everything feels so easy and so natural, and I feel like he is what was missing to me. Sometimes I feel ready to burst I'm so happy. I've had crushes, liked other people...but this is just...different. I don't like him, I love him, I need him. I'm only 20, I've always been iffy about commitment so young, but...I just know he is not going to be just "a boyfriend". Everything about him amazes me, he is totally incredible, and I don't know how I didn't see this!
I love him, totally, madly, completely, with everything that I am. I feel like I now understand what a soulmate is.
</cheese>....
Kaida