Watch Post Dates
Hi Medusa. If you look at the top left of the very first post in this thread, you'll see it is dated September, 2010. It is six years old, and I'm sure the original poster has long since left the board and moved on. There's nothing wrong with commenting on old posts in my opinion, since the information is still relevant to readers (some people discourage it, like it's reviving the dead, lol). But I wouldn't expect a response to your question from the writer of a six year old post.
Speaking of expectations, as far as your love situation, on the one hand, it sounds like the guy is just trying to be realistic and honest with you, and maybe you should respect that. I know I've been busy with life and couldn't focus on a relationship at the moment, until I got certain things in my life accomplished, etc. Then, I could relax and focus. It's not an unreasonable request.
, on the other hand, if this is a married man we're talking about here, and you're "the other woman," that's a different story. Then I'd say your expectations are extremely unrealistic and it's best you move on. If that's the case, here's a thread with advice and spell work you might find helpful: http://everythingunderthemoon.net/forum ... ml#p250673
I had to get realistic with that poster, as she was trying to dress up the situation with a whole lot of spiritual doublespeak. But, I cut through that and it resonated with her when I proposed she perhaps had been "used," as she understandably had a difficult time admitting that to herself. It seemed, in the end she knew it was time for her to quit dwelling on it, and just move on.
The reason why I suspected that in her situation and used that language, was that I see it so often when guys with a family want to prove their virility to themselves
, that they haven't lost it, that they've still "got it with the ladies." They will wham-bam-thankyoumaam
someone as proof women still want them. Sometimes these are otherwise good guys who would not normally cheat, but are just feeling particularly insecure with their manhood, looking outside themselves and their marriage for validation.
And a woman in this situation is usually quite flattered, and it raises her (equally) low self-esteem. "Wow, I must really
be desirable! What a catch I must be, that this man is actually going to leave his own family because he loves me sooo much
!" She hopes all the stability his wife has with him, she will likewise have with him, that he will likewise take care of her. But it never happens. Once the thrill is gone, he moves on. Then, she comes to message boards like this looking for spells to get him back. We get this here, as do many other witchcraft related websites, no doubt.
His breaking up just to "protect" you lingo is quite classic, a red flag to me of language used by someone who's trying to put a noble face on what he knows was his very ignoble behavior. And with eight kids, unless they will all be out of the house in a year, his life will never "calm down," not in a year, not in five years, not anytime soon. Honestly, I would say he has no intention of getting together with you again (unless it's to sleep with you...sorry, that's just how it seems to me).
But I do think he is absolutely right about one thing: you definitely "deserve better" than this, way better.
Love ...or Control?
As far as spell work goes, let's look at the language you're using here, and the intentions it's possibly reflecting: Is "open his eyes" really another way of saying, "get him to see things MY WAY," do what you want
him to do with his life, not do what he wants to do with it? The spirit behind that just sounds a little controlling to me, I'm just sayin' (the best way to drive a guy off is shove him in a cage; I guess that's true the other way around, too). And what about, "realize he can't live without me"? Sounds to me like he's living right now just fine
without you...so you want him to "realize" something that is just not true
? Again, it sounds like you have some unrealistic views on the energy of this situation.
And yes, I would say you are very much working "against his wishes," that that's exactly what you're doing. And be warned: when you mess with people like this, and they get wind of it, watch out. It usually pisses them off and will have the exact opposite effect you intended, because really, this is not love, this is manipulative, an attempt at control...and no one
likes to be controlled.
Witchcraft is based on intention, and convoluted intentions like these result in convoluted spell work, which will yield convoluted results for the spell caster. On the contrary, witchcraft with clear intentions, done in good conscience, has a harmonizing effect, and will yield positive results not just for the spell caster, but for the environment itself.
When you say, "I want him to return to me," how much of that is your wanting to feel the good feeling you felt about yourself (using him as a springboard), that you're no longer feeling now? How much of this is wanting that feeling, not necessarily the guy, to return to you? Is it really the self-esteem you want to return? We all want that for ourselves, to feel good about ourselves, acknowledged, like we count. And if so, how would you recreate that same sense of self-esteem, that positive feeling, but using another method? Maybe what you really need returning to you is a piece of yourself you've neglected, and need to spend some time getting to know.
I would recommend that if he's happy and busy living his life, instead of taking this needy approach, cherish the good times you had together, but lay them to rest. Review the lessons you learned about yourself when with him, about life itself, the wisdom you gained. Wish him well, get inspired by his example, then get busy living your own life! Don't hold grudges, forget revenge. Instead, start a new hobby, like painting or taking a dance class
(salsa is fun). Success and true happiness are the best revenge. And perhaps spells that would be more helpful to you right now are self-love-type spells, like these: Herbs/Spells for Self-love
Also, if you are having anxiety about being alone in life, trying to find solace outside yourself (in a man, etc.) pursue counseling
of some sort to examine where that's really coming from, for instance some abandonment you've encountered from which you've never healed, that's still on your mind and still hurting your heart, driving you to keep looking for love in all the wrong places.
Witchcraft can't help us solve problems when we're not being realistic about those problems in the first place, trying to control things we can't control. Doesn't work like that, my friend. Sometimes you have to hurt before you heal, before you can get honest with yourself. Take some time to ask yourself, and truthfully answer, the hard questions, the tough questions. Then, go from there.
Good luck with everything.
Related site: Flower Bath Magic Self-love Ritual