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Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

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Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Whitewitch8712 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:11 am

My story is not one of sympathy. I have been happily married to the love of my life for 3 years (dated 5.5 years before) and we now have a 16 months old daughter.

I was taking a class this past Jan where I met a man. A man, that on paper I would have not considered a suitable suitor and in-person, although attractive, he looked worn down, a bit overweight and tired but nonethless, I could not explain my attraction towards him. We eventually got to talking and it was always that we both felt the same ways for each other. It was like I knew him and he knew me. He had 2 teenage children from his first marriage and a son about my dd age with his live in girlfriend.

He started courting me and I was stuck between guilt, shame and these feelings for this man. We threw out the word love a few times but it seemed so unreal. When he kissed me I could feel it my cheeks in my toes and the same for him. It was like a lightning bolt hit us both. We talked freely about our feelings.

Around MID April he started to talk to me less and I understood. The relationship changed somehow but really, it was clandestine so what was I to do?

I was left confused, so for the first time in 10 years I turned to the tarot. Two highly regarded tarot card readers said I met a soulmate and his wife/gf found out about me and that she made an unbinding spell. Not unusual, as we live in Miami and Santeria is highly-practiced. She said that for $400 she could clear this mess.

Just to be clear: I don't want him back. I miss him terribly. But he belongs to her. I found out via Instagram that she bore him a 4th (sickly) child and its time to let it be. I wish no harm. I just want to move with my life and new career and eventually forget about him.

So I dusted off my old book of shadows and saw a spell I created. Basically using the strawberry moon, I created a circle of pyramid salt around me, I wore my quartz necklace and lit a white candle. I let a drop of my blood burn and then I burned her name on a piece of paper. Asking the spirits for forgiveness of my sins, of letting my heart love the wrong person. But I couldnt carry her burden anymore and to disbind what she had unbind.


It may seem novice, but I am. I also wanted to know what kind of spiritual work takes that much money? Is that reasonable? I could use any help.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby YanaKhan » Wed Jun 22, 2016 12:46 am

Hello, Whitewitch8712.
Please go to the top section of the forum and make an introduction, so we can get to know you better. Thank you!
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby moonraingirl » Wed Jun 22, 2016 6:01 am

Don't pay 400 dollars. It's all an overpriced joke. This woman saw you are desperate and wanted to get as much money from you as she can.
There was a report about this kind of fortune tellers in local newspaper. They will tell you are cursed and ask for a large amount of money. When you pay them to get rid of it, they'll say there's a larger problem and ask for even more money and will repeat it several times.

There was a report of a "witch" who told a certain lady that all money that she had was cursed and she asked her to bring all her money in an envelope so that the which can remove the curse. So the witch did some abracadabra with the envelope and when the lady got home, there were only white papers instead of money in it!
She called the police but the which left the country meanwhile.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby silvergrey » Wed Jun 22, 2016 7:40 am

I second moonraingirl's comments, do not pay that kind of money. It's total BS for anyone to ask you that kind of money to undo any kind of magic, especially when you're a practicioner yourself.

If you have done your own ritual to ask for forgiveness for what you've done wrong from the spirits, the next step is to allow yourself to forgive yourself. Forgiveness from the spirits is the first step, now it's time to forgive yourself and close this chapter. Good luck!
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Oakheart » Wed Jun 22, 2016 8:12 am

He might have gone back to his girlfriend out of guilt rather than as the result of a spell on her part. The only thing that is binding you is your fear of a spell (that you cannot be certain she even casted) as well as your own guilt. All will be well in the universe once you fully forgive yourself.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Whitewitch8712 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:04 am

Thank you all that replied. Its been hard getting out of my head. I kept thinking things are not going well in my new career because of this bad energy.

I also posted a little more of my introduction in the intro page.

I am still trying to get familiar with the site. Its a little confusing. I know there is a whole section about spell casting but its a bit overwhelming. Does anyone have any take on the spell I casted? Anybody have any suggestions for my particular situation?
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Zombiedaisy » Wed Jun 22, 2016 2:49 pm

I agree with others. Paying that much money sounds like a scam. I would trust in yourself and work on you and forgiving yourself and all will fall into place.

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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Silentfeather » Wed Jun 22, 2016 3:33 pm

Do not pay that money, it is much cheaper to purchase an anointing oil for breaking spells/curses, anoint yourself with the oil if it can be used on the skin safely, anoint a candle with it too, also sea salt in a bath is good, even better if you can actually bath in the sea, this will wash away any negativity, I don't live by the sea so I generally put both sea salt and spell/curse removal oil in my bath, you only need one or two drops in a bath full of water, then get in the bath and make sure the water covers all your body, stay in for at least 15 minutes, I also pray to the Archangels, but that may make you feel uncomfortable depending on your religion and beliefs.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Kassandra » Wed Jun 22, 2016 4:59 pm

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Whitewitch8712, welcome to the board. Thank you for sharing with us your difficult situation, and I hope something of what is suggested is of help to you. Here are some of my thoughts on this...



Spellcasters and Guilt

moonraingirl wrote:There was a report about this kind of fortune tellers in local newspaper. They will tell you are cursed and ask for a large amount of money. When you pay them to get rid of it, they'll say there's a larger problem and ask for even more money and will repeat it several times.

There was a report of a "witch" who told a certain lady that all money that she had was cursed and she asked her to bring all her money in an envelope so that the which can remove the curse. So the witch did some abracadabra with the envelope and when the lady got home, there were only white papers instead of money in it!
She called the police but the which left the country meanwhile.


Yep. I would say $400 is going to turn into $4,000, or more. These scams are scripted. There's always "another spell" these people will "need" to do after they do the last one. Because I wanted a chuckle, and I had a few spare moments on my hands, I once met with a "Psychic-Readings-for-$5" person. Sure enough, due to "all that negative energy causing bad luck" around me (said by the reader with a very scared, concerned expression, lol), she informed me that it turns out what I reeeaally needed, instead, was actually $500 worth of "cleansing work" (which probably would have turned into $5,000 before long). Who'd'a thunk it, right? :wink: Of course, I gasped with an equally scared, concerned expression, "Oh wow, is it that bad? Really?!" I remember I kept looking her straight in the eye, but she kept blinking, or looking away, or looking down or somewhere else. Lying to someone who knows you're lying ain't so easy, lol.

Yes, these readers/spellcasters will set you up with monthly payments, no joke, which people actually pay, fearing the reader/spellcaster will send an evil curse if they don't pay (which probably isn't far from the truth). I've heard of gullible victims losing homes and other property over these peoples' shenanigans. We mods have to chase them off this board constantly, as they post little thinly-veiled, phony "testimonial" posts, pretending to be pleased customers who are merely sharing a great referral.

Sounds like your guilt is making you the perfect target. The Catholic Church has historically taught that people could just buy their way to whatever it is they want, that God has a handy little price list for everything. Since the influence of Catholicism has pretty much touched every continent on the planet, and all Protestant religions have roots in Catholocism, I think this general mentality trickles down subconsciously into non-Catholic realms and situations, as well. But, in my opinion, your throwing money at this won't help you, Whitewitch8712.

The mess you need to clear yourself from ...I think only time could heal. You are understandably suffering from a bunch of very uncomfortable feelings right now: guilt for both messing around with another woman's man, and for cheating on your own "love of my life" husband (probably a really good guy); pain and humiliation for being used romantically then unceremoniously dumped; and loneliness from keeping all this a secret from your husband. That's a lot to deal with. There no doubt has been, and will continue to be, a lot of crying, inner reflection, anger, and other feelings on your part, that you're just going to have to continue working through. That's the only real way to "clear this mess." A spellcaster can't make it go away for you...but CAN make your money go away for you.




Spell Critique
Whitewitch8712 wrote:So I dusted off my old book of shadows and saw a spell I created. Basically using the strawberry moon, I created a circle of pyramid salt around me, I wore my quartz necklace and lit a white candle. I let a drop of my blood burn and then I burned her name on a piece of paper. Asking the spirits for forgiveness of my sins, of letting my heart love the wrong person. But I couldnt carry her burden anymore and to disbind what she had unbind...Does anyone have any take on the spell I casted? Anybody have any suggestions for my particular situation?

Hmm. I'm going to be honest with you, I don't get this spell at all. It seems a bit convoluted and misdirected. This phrase really confuses me: "disbind what she had unbind." Huh? You don't even know if she really did any spell work on you, it's just what some reader told you. Even if she did, she would have rightfully been trying to keep her family together, so how were you carrying her burden? You wrote in your original* title you need protection. That's like someone about to steal a dress from a department store praying for protection from the security guards so she won't get caught and prosecuted...maybe it's the store that needs protection.

Also, I don't understand the burning your blood part and burning her name on the paper. Those are more like things someone would do to bind themselves TO someone, like a blood oath ritual or something. I don't think that was your intention. In fact, I can't say I understand why you are focusing on your ex-lover's woman in any aspect of your spell work (you wrote "wife/gf" ...which is it, wife or girlfriend?). Seems like it would be a better idea to just leave her out of everything, and focus on yourself (cutting away your attachment to the guy, etc.) and that's it.

Like I told the person in this post, focus on what you want to draw to you, not what you don't want: Spell Work for Business/Employment. Like you, he too was basing spell work on "countering" unconfirmed magic he believed "might have been done" to him, while totally ignoring the goals he claims he really wants to accomplish in life (ideally where his focus should be). I think whatever spell work you do should include some self-love elements, as well.



Suggestions

I don't know if you plan to disclose any of this to your husband, if you haven't already. But, there is the possibility that he could somehow find out. You still have some control over how that plays out. Either he could hear about it in a discussion you initiate in a controlled, thought-out way, or he could discover what happened out of the blue, by hearing about it "on the street," which, these days, could include the internet, or other unconventional means. Which would you rather?

Either way, I'm not going to belabor this thought, I just threw it out there. But, I do hope you are able to be truthful with him about this because I sense there is definitely some shadow work to be done here, unpleasant things you might not want to face. Is there something about your marriage you're really not happy about, but have not confronted honestly, not spoken it out loud? If so, there's a hole there, a void in your spirit, and it wouldn't be a surprise if you attracted more Mr. Not Rights to you, and, believe it or not, had additional affairs in the future. It's best to address what I would say is your Shadow Self trying to communicate with you. But, that's all I'll say on all this; I'll let you take it from there.

To help you establish your integrity again, to yourself and to your spirit helpers (such as ancestors, etc..), consider taking this ritual bath and tailoring a few of the details to your situation: creating-goodwill-within-ritual-bath-t24355.html (I'm big on baths, they work so well!). For instance, for the letter-writing part in the bath ritual, I suggest you write some letters of atonement to the people you've hurt spiritually-speaking (you aren't giving these letters to them, you're just writing them to help you process your feelings and heal), even if they don't yet know about your affair with the man, such as:

1. Letter to your husband apologizing for what you've done, explaining what was in your head and heart at the time, and being honest about anything you feel you are not getting in the marriage (if anything), etc.
2. Letter to yourself about why what you did was not self-loving, and how you plan to conduct yourself if you confront a similar situation, maybe also discuss the grief you feel, forgiving yourself, etc.
3. Letter to the man's "wife/gf" apologizing for coming between them, as well as disrespecting their family
4. And maybe write a letter saying goodbye to Mr. Not Right, the lessons you learned from the experience, etc.

These were just suggestions. Do what your heart says to do.

Perhaps these threads might offer additional insights or suggestions you might find helpful:

Scammers:
Anti-scam and Fraud Information

Relationships:
Restoring Love & Harmony After Infidelities -Any Rituals?
Spell for Moving on from a Relationship

Self-love:
Self Love Spell
Self-love Candle Spell & Love Charm Empowerment Spell(I partly wrote this)

The Shadow:
The Shadow Self
Knowing & Embracing Your Shadow (Xiao wrote this)


I wish you the best, and if you'd like, please keep us posted on how you're doing.

-K




*Note: I changed the original title, "Please hear my story, I need protection and healing," to the current title, better reflecting the post's content, see #8: FORUM RULES - Please Read Before Posting.

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Re: Healing after Affair with a Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Xiao Rong » Wed Jun 22, 2016 9:32 pm

Agreed with all points above. Diviners, like it or not, are often in a position of power. We come to them seeking guidance, sometimes exposing our deepest vulnerabilities -- metaphysically or verbally! (You can bet that if you go to a reader asking for love advice, they're going to know what's on your mind!). Anyone who knows what your vulnerabilities are and then conveniently offers a solution to all your problems for the right price is almost certainly a scammer. $300-400 is usually the starting figure, but I've heard of people being strung along for five- or six-figure sums.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Whitewitch8712 » Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:12 pm

@Kassandra: Thank you so much for your thoughtful words. I casted that spell going off the "psychic" who told me she messed with me spiritually and was now affecting all areas of my life. That is why I did that spell. I, in fact, feel terribly for her. Not, only does she have a man who is not in love with her and unwilling to marry her but she now bore him a second baby that is a micro preemie. A 25 week old will spend months upon months in the NICU and its a rollercoaster. I know because I used to work for the March of Dimes and I have heard all about babies born under these conditions. I wouldnt wish that experience on my worst enemy.

I want to thank you for understanding my feelings. You really hit on the spot on how I was feeling. My DH is a wonderful man. He did not deserve any of this at all. He is a dedicated man to his family. I suffered from terrible PPD after having my daughter, which caused a huge disconnect from me and my DH (classic PPD symptom) I only recently started getting better until I met him. He just seemed so enthralled and taken by me and it was almost like an escape. We had chemistry. I wasnt thinking but I will tell you that the highs have NOT been worth the lows.

I am caught terribly between several emotions, I really did love your quote because it was perfect "Being used romantically and then unceremoniously dumped" Thats exactly it.

I just want to put this behind me. I have been trying every day to rededicate myself to my family. I do something special everyday for my husband. It could be as little as cooking his favorite spaghetti or watching his favorite show. We are going to a concert together Sunday.

Thank you for the critique on my spell. You are so insightful. I will look further into cleansing/self-love spell and writing those letters are a good idea.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby silverowl » Thu Jun 23, 2016 7:44 am

Here's some food for thought, and please don't take this the wrong way.

My husband had an affair after we lost our first baby at 37 weeks. This woman got it in her head that he was really in love with her, and only stayed because of our babies, but that couldn't be furthest from the truth. To explain in great detail would be a novel, and I don't want to hijack your thread, but our perception is more often than not our reality. The reality of it is he didn't leave her for you, which very likely means he doesn't love you. He may or may not love her and that's for them to sort out, but the affair he had with you may have been just as much of an escape for him as it was for you. The truth here is that unless you loved this man enough to leave your marriage (assuming y'all are strictly monogamous) then you also used him romantically.

Personally I think if you're looking to do something about your guilt then you need to actively do something sans magic. Go old fashioned and write it out, whether or not you send it is up to you. My husband says that he still feels terrible about what he did and that happened a couple years ago now. You can only change what you do going forward, but healing is not going to happen overnight or even in a few months.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Kassandra » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:36 pm

Whitewitch8712 wrote:@Kassandra: Thank you so much for your thoughtful words.

Welcome, glad it helps.

Sorry for your loss, silverowl, and thanks for sharing your story.




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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby Whitewitch8712 » Thu Jun 23, 2016 3:34 pm

silverowl wrote:Here's some food for thought, and please don't take this the wrong way.

My husband had an affair after we lost our first baby at 37 weeks. This woman got it in her head that he was really in love with her, and only stayed because of our babies, but that couldn't be furthest from the truth. To explain in great detail would be a novel, and I don't want to hijack your thread, but our perception is more often than not our reality. The reality of it is he didn't leave her for you, which very likely means he doesn't love you. He may or may not love her and that's for them to sort out, but the affair he had with you may have been just as much of an escape for him as it was for you. The truth here is that unless you loved this man enough to leave your marriage (assuming y'all are strictly monogamous) then you also used him romantically.

Personally I think if you're looking to do something about your guilt then you need to actively do something sans magic. Go old fashioned and write it out, whether or not you send it is up to you. My husband says that he still feels terrible about what he did and that happened a couple years ago now. You can only change what you do going forward, but healing is not going to happen overnight or even in a few months.



I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cant begin to imagine what that must be like. I am also so sorry to hear about your husband. I agree with you. I used him too because I would never leave my DH for him. I dont think it was love, it felt that way but I think I knew better than that. We never slept together and actually never did more than kiss. It was escapism of it all and then that is when reality gets blurred (it's called affair fog.) I do miss him but, man, not worth it. Psychologically and emotionally, it wrecked me in many different ways (I was barely eating or sleeping). Affairs like these are tricky and treacherous, they become like a drug and you want more even though you know you shouldn't.
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Re: Healing after Affair with Man, Any Spellwork Advice?

Postby silverowl » Thu Jun 23, 2016 4:23 pm

Thanks, and I understand it. I had PPD with my rainbow and they passed it off as baby blues. But when I had my next baby I could tell that there was no way that's all it was. So I understand how awful things can be PP, it's hard. And you're so right about affairs. They're tricky and complicated and I hate it when people generalize them because affairs are so rarely about love but about fulfilling other needs and wants. Idk I guess just by some of the things you said for a moment there I was thinking you were hung up on this guy and that can be a whole danger zone unto itself and you deserve more than that.
I really hope things get better with your husband. Sounds to me like you're taking a lot of really good steps.
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