Losing faith in wicca/psychic stuff, fighting depression

[Jake1001]

Hey guys! So I haven't been on in a while. If youve seen my past posts you will know I have depression, and now since I have depression I've been losing faith in Wiccan/psychic stuff Why; well I have 3 reason 1. they arent main priority right now my main prifority is to get rid of depression FIRST too bad I cant 2. Well I just dont feel energies etc, anymore not as much, im emoitionless which sucks (cause of depression) and I cant feel energies, my guides etcIm completely blocked off an tried so many remedies none worked 3. I just simply don't know I feel like crap, I feel drained, I feel depressed, I feel UGH!

I talked to my parents about me being depressed and said im saying bs.. And I'm like what the heck?! Also I told them Im wiccan and they were upset, to myself I was like: Okay, so they are having a super hard time knowing im wiccan, just a belief/religon and that I have a disorder? Now why would they have a hard time knowing I have a disorder I don't get that, anywho they ignored it and dropped the subject, I was going to get St johns wort if they accepted it but too bad they didnt; and i told myself If they cant accept a beleif and disorder so well how will they accept their son to be Gay?!? I also have no idea from where my depression came from, it came out of the blue and have a few things to depress about but now much, So its been a pain.

So overall my question(s) are:

-How do I feel energies/guides/etc again?
-How do I start beleiving again
-How do I remove depression?!
-How do I convince or atleast tell my parents wicca isnt bad
-How do I convicne them I'm depressed and that I want to buy St johns wort!

P.s. I'm thinking of calling the trevor project helpline, when they are sleeping or not at home, but I'm scared to because I never have called a helpline, and I'm scared if I call them they will call back on my house phone again.

Thanks once again!

[Xiao Rong]

Hi Jake,

I'm really sorry for the rough patch you're in right now. I can't answer all your questions, but I can try to get to at least a few of them ...

As for the question of how to start believing again, I don't think you need to force yourself to believe again. You sound like you're young, so at this point in your life it's really only natural to be questioning everything (not to mention, I think we still go through cycles of belief and disbelief throughout our lives). Like you said, your priority is getting through your depression, and if working on your spirituality (or feeling obligated to work on your spirituality) is draining, not energizing, you, then it's totally okay. Don't worry about it for now.

About removing depression, unfortunately there are no easy answers. You said your parents weren't understanding of the problem, right? How about friends or other people you know?

Finally, I wouldn't worry about the confidentiality issue with calling the Trevor Project. Most hotlines/helplines are very aware of the importance of confidentiality with their callers, and they won't call you back on any number that you didn't expressly give them permission to call. If you're really concerned, you can just add *67 to your call first, and then they won't have your number. If they utilize an answering service to field their calls, you can just ask them to patch you through to the helpline and then the helpline won't have a record of your number.

Hope this helps!

Xiao

[Holdasown]

Sometimes the energies around us back off to you give you space. If you are depressed they may want you to feel free to get help without the worry of getting a practice together. Calling a hotline is a good idea as is seeing your doctor. As far as practicing you could try meditation or yoga to help with anxiety and energy flow. I know you want your parents to understand your faith but sometimes is best to let them know and just not get into it again. Especially if they will not be supportive. You were honest and that's all you can do sometimes. Get your health in order before you worry about the gods. They are more patient than we give them credit for.

[LiebeUndLicht]

I agree, concentrate on your health first. Of course, you could always do a spell to try and help your depression but if you're not feeling close recently maybe that isn't such a good idea. Have you been to a doctor about your depression, because I just wondered if you've tried any counselling or even drugs that could help? It might not be possible to convince your parents that Wicca isn't bad but just tell them: "Look, Wicca isn't bad: we don't believe in Satan and we don't believe in harming anyone or anything and I'm not going to Hell, and Wicca overall just isn't a bad religion." Don't raise your voice while saying this though.

I don't know how old you are, but I don't want to say practice against their will because... I'm not condoning that. I also don't want to say just ignore your parents or anything like that, and as I've never been in this situation myself then it's a bit difficult answering the question. I feel like mentioning, there doesn't have to be a reason that you're depressed, a lot of the time there isn't actually a reason. I don't know anything about you if I'm perfectly honest because I'm recently a member of Everything Under the Moon, but I hope this answer helped somewhat. Remember that you can live Wiccan, you don't have to do fancy rituals to feel the power of the God and Goddess and Nature and all of that stuff

So,

I don't know you or your parents but I'm sure they still love you,
Focus on your health and wellbeing first,
Know that you can talk to anyone on here anytime (well... as long as they're online),
Tell your parents that Wicca isn't evil
And I think that's it!

Oh, and about that helpline, don't be afraid to call if you ever need any help, the people won't judge you, well, good luck.

Blessed be!

[Firebird]

Hey Jake ...>>hugs<<
do you have a counselor at school you can talk to?
some schools have a programe for young teens called "impact" it addresses the stresses and issues young people have growing up. It may be called something else in different areas, but a counselor should be able to point you towards help.
you may have to be your own best advocate, unfortunately it sounds like the parents aren't hearing you.
another thing that helps depression quite a bit is some excercise. Go for a walk to the park or some place that has a beautiful setting, that way you can be close to the energies of the earth.
please PM me if you need to chat.
bb, Firebird

[Jake1001]

Thanks guys for your replies, I would've replied earlier but for some reason 2 days ago I couldn't post on here and I had to re-do my reply twice but It still didn't send, anywho, Well first of all, I'm NOT going to go to a doctor (by the way im 13) Becasue the anti depressants they give you trust me, they are like UNBELIEVEABLE doctors do mention the sideffects but not all of them plus they do more damage towards mens bodies rather than women.

I can talk to a counsler at school but I don't feel comfortable asking her so many questions face to face, ID prefer to do it through phone, Ive talked to her before told her im bi (I was still finding myself then) and I told her of my "Depression" well I wasnt sure if i had depression back then either, she said to see a doctor too which I refused, Im talking to a lot of spiritual friends and they said not to take st johns wort even if its natural they say I need to love myself, meditate, Talk to myself (find my inner self) Etc but its just so annoying when I attempt to do that I twitch and get angry, thats why I have sided to taking NATURAL pills.

It is also a pain knowing that ur mom will cry and disown you when you come out and also my dad might hit me, they are great parents im not saying anything but I doubt 100% they would expect their son to be gay, I mean come on if they can't handle a beleief/religon and a disorder so well how will they handle their son, Holding hands with a guy etc. *sigh* I'm just tierd of everything and Have attempted suicuide, well I've thought of ways I'd do it and never attempted it but I almost did once (I was going to swallow a huge amount of mouthwash but at the last second I spat it out instead)

Also since im having self doubt etc etc, Im starting to lose hope.... I told myself within 2 years If I dont get rid of my sadness and depression.. Ill probably end up mad and... well you know the rest..... *sigh*.... I will try to call the trevor line in the near future...

Thanks guys... Blessed be..

[Firebird]

The point of having a counselor is so you can voice your troubles, there is something about speaking that gets it on the "outside" of your self. See if she can direct you to a group, when you hear others who are in the same boat, your burden will lessen. You don't have to take drugs, but talk thearpy and excercise is your best option right now, as you grow and hormones change, so might your outlook. I know it looks really grim, however you must keep in mind you are young, and you have so much more of life ahead of you...also know you don't have to tell your parents what your sexual orientation is, it really isn't their business.
As far as your spirituality, think of the charge of the Goddess, and remember, no one can prevent worship in your heart.
I feel for you dear, please don't despair.
Blessings, Firebird

[Pinkpower_80]

Hi Jake, I wanted to check in on you. I have a 13yo stepson and it breaks my heart to think of him going through what you are. I wish your parents would be more open to actually hearing you & taking you seriously. I am truly sorry.
I have been going through a very deep depression for quite a while. It started to creep in late last year and just got worse with time. In February something happened that caused me to sink even deeper. I have had bouts of serious depression for nearly my whole life (I am 34 now), I've even attempted suicide a few times & self-harm in various ways. I overcame that part of my life, but it required lots of hard work and a couple of lengthy hospitalizations. I hope you can get the help you need & deserve before you get to that level.

I am on medication for depression, even though I prefer not to be. A lot of times there is a chemical imbalance that can lead to depression, or make it worse. These meds help to even out the imbalance. It has been a lot of trial & error and some meds actually made me worse, but I think I'm on a good one now. I much prefer natural healing methods & will transition that way when I feel the time is right.

In the depths of my depression, I lost all my faith in everything & didn't really practice my pagan beliefs. This was just a few months ago. I was really bad off. I disranced myself from my kids, fiance, and family/friends and I just stopped caring about anything. In the past month or so I have made a huge turnaround though. I started to feel pulled back to my spirituality so I started focusing on it again. Now my beliefs are stronger than ever and my depression is starting to subside. It isn't easy, I have worked very hard at learning to control my temper/anger, and I am learning to let things go that I cannot change. Meditation has been a real life saver for me, and it is something you can do without other people knowing what you're doing.

I highly recommend for you to call the help line. Sometimes a person just needs someone to talk to and be able to get things out, without judgements. I don't know if I would recommend medication at your age though. It is really tricky to treat young peopke with adult medications because a lot of times, younger people react differently to the chemicals in certain drugs. It is hard enough to be 13, it's even harder when you don't feel like you have support. We will be here for you the best we can.

Keep your chin up, it will get better. You need to be your own advocate. Even though you're young, you still deserve to be taken seriously & heard. I hope your parents open their eyes soon and can accept you for the wonderful soul that you are.

[snapdragon_x]

I had depression starting at the age of 12, and when I was 13 I went on a very low dose of Lexapro. I'm still on it today. Honestly it saved my life. The side effects are very small and it's worth it. Talk to your parents. Try to explain how you're feeling in a way they'll understand. Sometimes, you don't have to go on anything, you just need someone to talk to. I hope all works out for you! Blessed be <3