Please help me with this negativity

[Lady CapricornSaturn]

How can one human being hate another so much? The kind of hatred that causes so much pain and suffering. A hatred so strong that they are so completely engulfed by this hatred and then they are blinded by the pain they are inflicting. I belive that this individual is basking in glory of this negative energy, as the aura that radiates from this person is dark green to black. I am have been experiencing a hatred like this from an individual who appears to be an "Angel from Heaven" but in fact is heartless, malicious and spiteful person who has the blackest of hearts. This person has the uncanny ability to cloud others negative perceptions of them and can turn around a situation to make everyone feel insignificant or tormented. I feel as though I am drowning everyday with this on-going situation. Can someone to guide me to a new self healing realm so my heart can heal before I lose my soul?

[Serenity Willow]

I think first thing is you need to step back and understand that the hatred this person feels or doesn't feel is really none of your business. It might sound harsh, but the only thing that you can control are your emotions and your actions. You seem to sit in judgement of this person and when we can recognize that, then we are able to look into why we are so consumed with this person. You are only allowing yourself to feel like you are drowning. Again, you control your emotions and you can control the ties that you allow to bind yourself to this person. As far as healing before you lose your soul, that again is completely up to you. Bad things happen to good people all the time, terrible things, and it's up to the person to either let it defeat you or you have the power to rise above it and follow the path to love an light. Do you have the love in your heart, to step up and make decisions for yourself that will share light with others. Make this about you, growing, loving and learning more about yourself and respecting the choices you make in life and not about your judgement of others. Send them prayers to heal from their heartaches in life. Remember only someone who has been hurt deeply can set out to hurt others. Blessings Lady Capricorn.

[Fallen Moon]

I agree with Serenity here; it's no one's place to judge someone else and where they're coming from. Maybe this person has been through some very rough times in his life, he may have had some traumatic event(s) happen and it's left him scarred. He could even live in a negative environment and that's the only way he knows to act. Often victims of abuse become abusers themselves. You first need to acknowledge that you don't know his situation or where he's coming from, and then you need to separate what is your negativity and what's not. Being able to recognize what's yours and what isn't will help you gain a better perspective of what's going on when you're around him. You may even want to avoid him for a while. How do you feel then? Better? Ground yourself and your emotions, which will give you a more objective viewpoint, and try to protect yourself if you do continue contact with him. If you're really so concerned about where his negativity is coming from, ask, but he's not obligated to tell you and he may choose not to. Your choices are your own, as Serenity said, and if you really feel like you might lose yourself because of how he is then you need to decide if you really want to be around him. Instead of judging, send some positive energy his way, even if it's just positive thoughts and wishes. Be nice to him even if he isn't to you, and accept the fact that everyone is different, and has walked different paths. You can't change others, but you can change yourself and how you perceive them.

Hope that helped, even though I mostly reiterated what Serenity said

[Serenity Willow]

Fallen Moon, how do you seem to know so much about abuse and were you abused in your past, or an abuser? You sound as though you have had alot of experience and I was just wondering. Thank you for your honestly.
Blessings

[Fallen Moon]

I wouldn't say that I've been abused (in the traditional sense of the word), nor that I'm an abuser. I've been manipulated and used by people I thought I could trust, and I suppose that could be taken as a form of abuse. I will admit that I have the capacity to be manipulative, but unlike most people I've come to recognize it and I make an effort to control myself. I may be too blunt and cold at times, but I am never abusive. That may be because of how I was raised and it may be because I know people who have been abused and I don't want to do that to someone. One of my best friends is emotionally and psychologically abused by her sister and I've been helping her try to deal with and break free of it. As I've gotten older and taken a bit of psychology, been friends with people who've studied it, and observed the world, I've learned that while I may be a horrible judge of character sometimes and not very good at reading people, I do know how they work. An abuse victim will go one of two ways: either they'll become stronger for it and move on with their lives, or they'll become trapped in that negative cycle and do the only thing they know how to. There is also the case that sometimes those who've been abused and had it reiterated that the abuser loves them, they may mistake abuse as displays of affection and think that's how they're supposed to show they care. As someone who has experience dealing with people who are manipulators and those who've been there, I can say that it really does all lie in in the choices we make and whether or not we exercise self-control.

I'm pretty sure I answered your question and then some lol. But if we do consider manipulation within relationships abuse, even if it never comes to physical or verbal outlets, then yes I have been. I had a very manipulative boyfriend a couple years ago and I didn't realize how much of what he said was lies and how much control he had until my guides managed to save me from the situation. It was, to sound cliche, an epic fail on my part as far as judging character. But I had also just gotten out of a relationship and was very vulnerable. I've since learned to be wary of dating magick users, because I know that he had no problem trying to use magick to keep his hold on me. My trust was very much damaged thanks to it but I did learn a few things, and I became much closer with one of my guides. This was pretty much the point where I delved into ways of protecting myself and those I cared about, because he did start stalking my best friend and trying to find out things about me I may not have shared. Never try to get information out of a woman's best friend is all I can say

For those reading this, yes, this is an example of abusing your power. You should never try to take away someone's free will because you think they should or shouldn't do something. If it's meant to be, it'll be and trying to use magick to get them to do something makes you no different from any other abuser or manipulator. The bruises may not be there physically, but there will be psychological scarring. And don't forget, if it's against the person's character or usual m.o, either their guide will come and get them out of it, or they'll wake up and realize something is wrong.

Tempted to go back and take some out. I don't usually share such things unless it's with my friends and I made this post much longer than the question warranted, but I feel like this experience is applicable to the situation in a way and is something that can be learned from. That and I feel oddly...safe here. Wary as anyone still learning their way around and getting to know others, but safe nonetheless. And if someone can learn from my mistakes and experiences, then why not share them. Ok, I'll shush now

[Serenity Willow]

That's so wonderful and thank you for sharing all that. You have a great message to share with others. You're very right about manipulation being a form of abuse. The use of power and control over someone, especially a partner, is in my view the worst. Bruises heal but the emotional scars take a very long time to heal. Blessings <3

[Fallen Moon]

You are quite welcome and I agree with you; using power and control over someone is the worst, and more so when it's your partner. Caring means allowing them to be happy in their own way. I am still recovering but I've come a very long way in the past year and a half, almost 2, and it wasn't easy. There were a lot of shadows of him lingering in my mind that I had to overcome and it has all made me stronger. I'm certainly happy to give advice to those who want it, and to support them in their battles if they need it. I actually came across a wonderful exercise via my horoscope one day (imagine that!) and perhaps if I can find the right spot in here I'll post it, because it's something that anyone can do and would find useful. But here we've gone and hijacked the thread! So sorry about that. Blessings to you both and I hope what I've said helps you, Lady Capricorn.

[Serenity Willow]

Don't worry about the tread, they are all conversations. I don't believe Lady Capricorn is here anymore, but your advice will help others for sure

[Fallen Moon]

Haha alright, I just know some people don't like it when a thread seems to veer off-topic, or at least that's how it's seemed at other forums I used to be on. That's a shame she's gone, but hopefully she finds what she's looking for. I'm glad to hear that it will help; I'd like for people to not make the mistakes that I have

[Serenity Willow]

It's really not off topic though, negativity and what she wrote about is all about healing, moving forward, abuse of power, it's all linked together. This is a very friendly site and everyone shares in helping others to gain knowledge and move forward.

[Fallen Moon]

That's really good to hear. I've been around others who have been a lot of posturing and fluff, as well as a lot of bickering over things. I understand it's good to question so that you can learn but you shouldn't drive someone into the ground and rip their beliefs apart because you disagree. I believe that we're all here to learn and find our own path. And I meant off-topic more in the sense that it was turning from advice on her issue to talking about me. But as long as it helps someone that's what matters. And I feel like I'm rambling just a little now lol; it's been a long and tiring week.

[Lady CapricornSaturn]

No - Im still here. I was just spending time with my family over the holiday. Its only been a week really Serenity...I will comment more on here in a bit when i have time to read this a bit more. Thanks Fallen Moon for sharing. I can relate to your comment of "I've been manipulated and used by people I thought I could trust, and I suppose that could be taken as a form of abuse." That is not a form of abuse, it is abuse and that is what this woman is doing to me at the moment. I will get more into in in a while !!

[Serenity Willow]

Hi Lady Capricorn and welcome back. What are you're paths in Wicca or paganism? Just curious as to what brought you to this site? What kind of Wicca do you practice? Feel free to ask any questions about Wicca or share your own views and experiences you have had with it. Forgive me, Lady Capricorn, but you do sound like you have fallen away from a good path and hanging onto your own negativity.