Well...
(Lets call her Carly) just broke up with the guy I like (lets call him Matt). Me and Matt 'hooked up' last night. We didn't have sex but he felt me up, his hands were all over my a*s, and he tried to finger me but I stopped him. Did I do the right thing in stopping him? I felt bad afterward.
I later found out that Carly tried to kill herself while I was hooking up with her ex.
SORRY if this is in to much detail, lol.
Did I do the right thing?
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Lily Cantodea
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WitchyLady506
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Your body, your rules. You don't have to do anything to someone or let someone do anything to you. Your feeling bad probably stems from the fact that it's your friends ex.
Your friend needs help. You need to tell her parents what she did. They need to know.
Also don't let her actions guilt trip you or him, as you neither had anything to do with it. they broke, meaning someone was unhappy with the relationship. Everyone has the right to seek happiness. You did nothing wrong either, as you liked him, but waited until they were no longer together to act on your feelings.
Your friend needs help. You need to tell her parents what she did. They need to know.
Also don't let her actions guilt trip you or him, as you neither had anything to do with it. they broke, meaning someone was unhappy with the relationship. Everyone has the right to seek happiness. You did nothing wrong either, as you liked him, but waited until they were no longer together to act on your feelings.
They say only Silver Bullets kill the beast inside.....
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ValentineHeart
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Lily Cantodea
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How is it his fault if he's moved on and she hasn't?ValentineHeart wrote:Very very RIGHT!
Don't let a guy make you uncomfortable. Let yourself go at your own pace. And as for Carly, (Pardon my Language) Screw Her. If they are over and she wants to be stupid and end her life. For a boy that touches you. Then it's HER and HIS fault.
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ValentineHeart
what was he supposed to say? there's no good or right way to end a relationship, if he was just a really horrible person about it and dumped her saying horribly emotionally abusive things then yes it could be his fault but we don't have the whole story.ValentineHeart wrote:He may not have told her the right things, or not say what he was supposed to say. In which case is HIS fault. He he has and she's keeps going. She's being a stalker so IGNORE her
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shadowx
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What i see here is people teaming up against the absent person because they feel guilty, or otherwise lack the backbone to say the original poster (who is of course here) is in the wrong.
Now, im going to stop short of saying the OP is wrong here, however, if one of my friends was suicidal, regardless of the reasons (attention seeking, or genuine depression) i would be round their house every freaking night.
Sure, they may be faking it, they may be a nutter. However if they were a true friend (as opposed to just some random person) then how would you, or the OP feel if that person did indeed kill themselves?
Imagine that regret, imagine you are with the guy, having your fun, kissing, laughing, who knows what else... and all the while your friend is in a closet bleeding out of their wrists. Giggle, chuckle, have sex... Her blood only flows further from her now white, cold, dead body. Her final thoughts were of her feelings for that guy who you now bed, while her lifeless corpse sits, mouth agape, blood vessels empty, the last emotion to grasp her now still heart was sadness, and pain, all the while you are having your fun...
Now, i appreciate this is a worst case scenario, and phrased harshly. My point is not to cause guilt, or fear... it is to illustrate what COULD happen.... And the regret you would feel. You alone could have stopped that, and right now you could be sitting with her, watching a film, walking through the forest, laughing about the time she was infatuated while you discuss the pros and cons of the guys you are walking past, remarking how much better looking they are, and how much better they would suit her. But no, you are instead leaving the mortuary, leaving your friend to lay on her own, in a dark, cold, uncaring box. A tag around her toe.
Anyhoo, i digress. My point... Plan for the worst, i myself am no saint, i have my regrets, thankfully those involved are still here, though they are scarred and things have changed, i would give many things to go back to that day and protect those involved, and banish the one responsible to a life of misery much like the years he gave those involved. But alas, i cannot. I wouldnt want anyone to live with the regret i carry, my own scars have somewhat healed, others have made me the vengeful, and sometimes hateful person i am. Others have made me cold, cold to the core. The warmth will indeed return, but only because i know she is now safe... It is indeed a her, but not like that... Again, my point is that you should not allow yourself to indulge for a few minutes to live an eternity of regret. Never let your own doubts or fears stop you from acting. ACT, I implore you.
Of course, if "Carly" is not a friend then it is not your concern, and i mean that. It is a harsh reality but the majority of the time you must come first. In a fire the first people to be evacuated if the risk increases are the fire fighters. Selfish? Not exactly, if all the firefighters get killed, who will rescue the two babies slowly being engulfed? No-one.
Othertimes you need to let go of people, you cannot help everyone, but you can always help yourself. Your judgement is the key.
I would not condemn you for what you did, i dont know the whole story. However, just consider that life of regret you may have to live with. And remember the time is now.
*sigh* What a weekend this shall be for me... Alas, the phoenix will burn and rise again, but for now let my regret and sadness be a message that no words could deliver.
Now, im going to stop short of saying the OP is wrong here, however, if one of my friends was suicidal, regardless of the reasons (attention seeking, or genuine depression) i would be round their house every freaking night.
Sure, they may be faking it, they may be a nutter. However if they were a true friend (as opposed to just some random person) then how would you, or the OP feel if that person did indeed kill themselves?
Imagine that regret, imagine you are with the guy, having your fun, kissing, laughing, who knows what else... and all the while your friend is in a closet bleeding out of their wrists. Giggle, chuckle, have sex... Her blood only flows further from her now white, cold, dead body. Her final thoughts were of her feelings for that guy who you now bed, while her lifeless corpse sits, mouth agape, blood vessels empty, the last emotion to grasp her now still heart was sadness, and pain, all the while you are having your fun...
Now, i appreciate this is a worst case scenario, and phrased harshly. My point is not to cause guilt, or fear... it is to illustrate what COULD happen.... And the regret you would feel. You alone could have stopped that, and right now you could be sitting with her, watching a film, walking through the forest, laughing about the time she was infatuated while you discuss the pros and cons of the guys you are walking past, remarking how much better looking they are, and how much better they would suit her. But no, you are instead leaving the mortuary, leaving your friend to lay on her own, in a dark, cold, uncaring box. A tag around her toe.
Anyhoo, i digress. My point... Plan for the worst, i myself am no saint, i have my regrets, thankfully those involved are still here, though they are scarred and things have changed, i would give many things to go back to that day and protect those involved, and banish the one responsible to a life of misery much like the years he gave those involved. But alas, i cannot. I wouldnt want anyone to live with the regret i carry, my own scars have somewhat healed, others have made me the vengeful, and sometimes hateful person i am. Others have made me cold, cold to the core. The warmth will indeed return, but only because i know she is now safe... It is indeed a her, but not like that... Again, my point is that you should not allow yourself to indulge for a few minutes to live an eternity of regret. Never let your own doubts or fears stop you from acting. ACT, I implore you.
Of course, if "Carly" is not a friend then it is not your concern, and i mean that. It is a harsh reality but the majority of the time you must come first. In a fire the first people to be evacuated if the risk increases are the fire fighters. Selfish? Not exactly, if all the firefighters get killed, who will rescue the two babies slowly being engulfed? No-one.
Othertimes you need to let go of people, you cannot help everyone, but you can always help yourself. Your judgement is the key.
I would not condemn you for what you did, i dont know the whole story. However, just consider that life of regret you may have to live with. And remember the time is now.
*sigh* What a weekend this shall be for me... Alas, the phoenix will burn and rise again, but for now let my regret and sadness be a message that no words could deliver.
shadowx
I do understand what you were saying. I've been in a similar spot (not being involved with her ex or anything) but i had a friend who did indeed commit suicide, later I found out that although she was offered help numerous times she didn't want to get better, dieing was her way out and no one was going to be able to stop her. We tried and tried and still she died.
Now my best friend of 12 years is trying to guilt me into taking care of her every little problem and emotional needs, and has been controlling me emotionally...I came to understand this is exactly the same thing my other now deceased friend did. You can't allow yourself to be poisoned by them, all you can do is help for as long as you can, but when it effects you as well, you have to learn to do what's best for you.
I tried to save everyone I could for the longest time because I always cared for my friends it only made my depression worse and was suffocating me until I lost control...and I started to bring others down with me until I decided I wanted to live, I wanted to change. Its a vicious cycle that only takes and takes and takes until someone can break away.
I do understand what you were saying. I've been in a similar spot (not being involved with her ex or anything) but i had a friend who did indeed commit suicide, later I found out that although she was offered help numerous times she didn't want to get better, dieing was her way out and no one was going to be able to stop her. We tried and tried and still she died.
Now my best friend of 12 years is trying to guilt me into taking care of her every little problem and emotional needs, and has been controlling me emotionally...I came to understand this is exactly the same thing my other now deceased friend did. You can't allow yourself to be poisoned by them, all you can do is help for as long as you can, but when it effects you as well, you have to learn to do what's best for you.
I tried to save everyone I could for the longest time because I always cared for my friends it only made my depression worse and was suffocating me until I lost control...and I started to bring others down with me until I decided I wanted to live, I wanted to change. Its a vicious cycle that only takes and takes and takes until someone can break away.
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shadowx
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Ah but if the person involved begins to be destructive towards you then it would be time to end the friendship, and if they arent a friend then your obligation to help them no longer exists.
Thats why i said *true* friend. Only the OP can say if this person is a true friend or not, and only they can make the decision. But they need to understand that this decision may well follow them forever.
Thats why i said *true* friend. Only the OP can say if this person is a true friend or not, and only they can make the decision. But they need to understand that this decision may well follow them forever.
Shadow certainly does have a good point. Nice way of bringing some balance to the topic. 
If you two are really good friends... you should do your utmost to help this friend of yours, as she is clearly in much pain or is going through some difficult issues. A good friend is always there for you, no matter what.
As for the whole thing with the guy... I really don't know what to say there, other than you are the judge of what you are doing. If your conscience is telling you something, then perhaps you should listen.
I hope you and your friend both get out of this situation in tact and stronger than before.
May The Divine Guide And Bless You In All Of Your Endeavors.
Love and Light,
Blessed Be.
If you two are really good friends... you should do your utmost to help this friend of yours, as she is clearly in much pain or is going through some difficult issues. A good friend is always there for you, no matter what.
As for the whole thing with the guy... I really don't know what to say there, other than you are the judge of what you are doing. If your conscience is telling you something, then perhaps you should listen.
I hope you and your friend both get out of this situation in tact and stronger than before.
May The Divine Guide And Bless You In All Of Your Endeavors.
Love and Light,
Blessed Be.
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solexowenus