Getting back in touch with yourself...?
Getting back in touch with yourself...?
Ok so I have this huge problem of always putting others before me. I'm talking family, friends, romantic intrests etc. I've had some people try to give me advice on how to focous only on ones self and not to worry about everyone else. As one friends puts it he looks out for "numero uno". I can't seem to do that. I've sort of forgotton who I truley am. I know who I am deep down I guess but I always am out to please everyone but myself. I tend to not have a lot of down time. Between work and taking care of my dad the time I have left over I choose to spend with friends. But when its just me I don't know what to do. I'm such a people person I forget about the person people see when they're around me. Ok sorry if I'm rambling but I'm trying to get my point across. Any advice?? I feel lost. Thanks in advance!
peace and love and blessed be
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
~ * ~ stormer ~ * ~
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Silverslayer
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 1:22 am
- Gender: Female
Well, I don't think you should just stop caring about everyone else. But don't pretend to be someone you aren't. What I mean is, still care about others, just don't change yourself to please them. If they require you to do this, it's probally not worth it anyways.
For advice, perhaps try some affirmations? Tell yourself every day that you are perfect, and you do not need to change for anyone, and that you simply will not try to change who you are to satifsy others. Tell yourself that if these people really care about you, they will accept you. Because that really is the truth.
Also, you could maybe treat yourself to something occasionally? It doesn't really matter what it is, maybe buy yourself a candy bar? Lol, random suggestion, just thought I'd add that in there
.
Hope I helped!
For advice, perhaps try some affirmations? Tell yourself every day that you are perfect, and you do not need to change for anyone, and that you simply will not try to change who you are to satifsy others. Tell yourself that if these people really care about you, they will accept you. Because that really is the truth.
Also, you could maybe treat yourself to something occasionally? It doesn't really matter what it is, maybe buy yourself a candy bar? Lol, random suggestion, just thought I'd add that in there
.Hope I helped!
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Starz
I feel what your saying
I am also the same way, I hardly give time to myself' and atthe end of the day everyone else is happy, and just forgets about me.
I try to stay positive an think on karma, yet at times in between I wonder why I'm such a giver. I hardly have people just stop an do the things I do for others. Just even a hand on my shoulder. But deep down I know something will come around when needed. Just my luck it might be when I
80 lol
I try to stay positive an think on karma, yet at times in between I wonder why I'm such a giver. I hardly have people just stop an do the things I do for others. Just even a hand on my shoulder. But deep down I know something will come around when needed. Just my luck it might be when I
80 lol
Consider this question, Stormer: Do you go out of your way to please people, or do you change yourself to please people? It sounds like the former, which is not bad.. just taxing on you. Though some people are more energized by being around other people, but hopefully not letting themselves become.. muddled into simply becoming what mask you wear when dealing with each crowd.
If you do meditation, even for a few minutes before going to bed, try to think about who you are and especially the feeling of who you are. Maybe even a ball of light with a color matching what you see as your color. You could even make it pulse with your heartbeat let a warm spread from your heart to your fingers and toes. Some way to capture 'this is me' in your mind. It may take some time to find a way that works best for you and some time to etch that image.
When you're around people like you usually are, try to clear your mind a moment and return to that. Who are you? Separate yourself in your mind and try to pick out yourself and your connections with those near you. If you feel crowded, let the warm from your little ball of light spread back out and reinforce who.
It's very similar to shielding techniques. Defining your boundaries and figuring out what makes what is inside of them different from what is outside. Every person tries to spread their influence and energy even without knowing it. Someone like you is probably very receptive to other people and their emotions, feelings, etc, which can make it easier to get your own sense of self to become polluted by others.
I could be far off the mark, but I've had a similar problem in the past that I hope I'm relating correctly. Unfortunately, I wasn't a people person so it wears me down quickly.
If you do meditation, even for a few minutes before going to bed, try to think about who you are and especially the feeling of who you are. Maybe even a ball of light with a color matching what you see as your color. You could even make it pulse with your heartbeat let a warm spread from your heart to your fingers and toes. Some way to capture 'this is me' in your mind. It may take some time to find a way that works best for you and some time to etch that image.
When you're around people like you usually are, try to clear your mind a moment and return to that. Who are you? Separate yourself in your mind and try to pick out yourself and your connections with those near you. If you feel crowded, let the warm from your little ball of light spread back out and reinforce who.
It's very similar to shielding techniques. Defining your boundaries and figuring out what makes what is inside of them different from what is outside. Every person tries to spread their influence and energy even without knowing it. Someone like you is probably very receptive to other people and their emotions, feelings, etc, which can make it easier to get your own sense of self to become polluted by others.
I could be far off the mark, but I've had a similar problem in the past that I hope I'm relating correctly. Unfortunately, I wasn't a people person so it wears me down quickly.
"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods." -Einstein
There are always facts, the best most of us can do is try to continuously adjust our opinions to become closer to those facts. For that, there is Science and Philosophy. One to argue facts and one to argue opinions. The result: The big bang is some sort of sexual innuendo resulting from your subconscious.
There are always facts, the best most of us can do is try to continuously adjust our opinions to become closer to those facts. For that, there is Science and Philosophy. One to argue facts and one to argue opinions. The result: The big bang is some sort of sexual innuendo resulting from your subconscious.
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mysticmist
Meditate to reconnect with your inner self
I know what you are talking about coz at times even i go through this momentary phase- wherein you feel so lost and disonnected from your real self. We spend our lives in doing,striving,planning and reacting and we get so caught in our mundane routine/surroundings that we tend to lose touch with our own self.I am sure you love to spend time with your family and friends but its neccesary for you to spend your own"ME TIME". Tell me how good could you be to others,if you cant be good yourself?? so dont think that you are being selfish by thinking about your own well being.Peace and clarity in thought would help you be a better and happier person.
I would suggest you to meditate for 1 hr everyday- just to think and reflect about your life,your dreams or the memories that make you happy. A simple deep breathing technique -Sit on the floor/bed.Close your eyes and then follow the 3 stages of breathing mentioned. 1st stage- Take deeper and longer breaths,say 30 times. 2nd stage- make the breathing normal- 60 times. 3rd stage- very quick and short breaths- 60 times. Repeat the 3 stages as long as you want to meditate- it could be be even 30 mins or as long as 2hrs...(You can alter the count by say 1st stage 50 breaths, 2nd stage- 100 , 3rd stage- 100) .Whatever the no. of 1st count,the 2nd and 3rd count should be just double of that.To end the session, lie on ur back for 5 mins and breathe normally.Hope im able to make u understand. It might be tad difficult for beginners to meditate and concentrate for a while so just let whatever thoughts come to your mind... with time you will be able to concentrate.This technique was taught to me by my uncle who was into meditation and yoga. I remember i burst out laughing when he actually taught me (I was a kid that time)!! lol but i can vouch on its effectiveness now.It gives clarity to your thoughts, makes you more focussed,positive and above all reconnect with your inner self that u seem to have buried somewhere under the wraps. In addition to that my uncle claimed that this technique helped cure minor ailments like bodyache, headache and stuff. But yes,one needs to be consistent while practising meditation.Hope it helps....
I would suggest you to meditate for 1 hr everyday- just to think and reflect about your life,your dreams or the memories that make you happy. A simple deep breathing technique -Sit on the floor/bed.Close your eyes and then follow the 3 stages of breathing mentioned. 1st stage- Take deeper and longer breaths,say 30 times. 2nd stage- make the breathing normal- 60 times. 3rd stage- very quick and short breaths- 60 times. Repeat the 3 stages as long as you want to meditate- it could be be even 30 mins or as long as 2hrs...(You can alter the count by say 1st stage 50 breaths, 2nd stage- 100 , 3rd stage- 100) .Whatever the no. of 1st count,the 2nd and 3rd count should be just double of that.To end the session, lie on ur back for 5 mins and breathe normally.Hope im able to make u understand. It might be tad difficult for beginners to meditate and concentrate for a while so just let whatever thoughts come to your mind... with time you will be able to concentrate.This technique was taught to me by my uncle who was into meditation and yoga. I remember i burst out laughing when he actually taught me (I was a kid that time)!! lol but i can vouch on its effectiveness now.It gives clarity to your thoughts, makes you more focussed,positive and above all reconnect with your inner self that u seem to have buried somewhere under the wraps. In addition to that my uncle claimed that this technique helped cure minor ailments like bodyache, headache and stuff. But yes,one needs to be consistent while practising meditation.Hope it helps....