Tymars void.

[Tymar]

Just some thoughts about stuff, and getting my head around things.


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Free will, Fate and destiny.
Just something i came up with going though life in general, of course im still tweaking ideas and thoughts over the years.

Basicly i feel we have choices in life..
Like a domino effect we make a choice. (free will)
So we get to choose something… lets say a new puppy.. (for example).

We put the energy into motion.. Thought’s, feelings, excitement, everything flows out on how this new puppy will be with us make us feel how we will enjoy it.. or how we wont enjoy all the things like toilet training.

All this is energy that flows out from our free will choice.
In a way I feel this gives spark , life or energy to Destiny.

So we have started to set out on that one simple path..
This path we can continue down where we come to destiny.

We still have control over which way we can go, like we can either follow destiny or turn away from it.

(So back to the puppy). You notice a new pet shop and decide to go inside (free will)
or you notice a sign on the edge of the street saying puppies for sale… (free will).

These signs are parts of destiny, once you have made your choice of puppy, you will be on your way to fate.

(destiny is just like the voice in your head that says don’t go down that street go the long way around this time)
( Or go into that shop and look at there puppies or pull over on the side of the street to check out there puppies)

This is destiny, for you to freely choose..
Once the choice is made then I feel you’re on the path to fate.

Fate is the Consequences of your choice from which destiny put to you.

I personally feel once you have gone from free will to making your choice of Destiny it then moves onto fate.
I feel at this time in the path, you find that you cant divert from that path to the end.

By saying the end I don’t mean the end of time or death, just the end of that choice.
For example.. you want something to eat.. you make choice to do something about it.. destiny could be making it buying it whatever it is.. Fate is you eat.. of course this can be blown out of control.. there are so many little choices in between.. but you get the idea i hope...


We make hundreds of choices every day, some might last a life time others might last a second.

So It’s a constant flow of beginnings and endings that are happening right now.

But on that note.. I totally believe you can bump / nudge that Fate path to divert it a little, by using your momentary / split second or daily personal choices.

I found at times no matter how much you want to change the fate line, it seems to reset itself. so to nudge it you need to do it fast and instant where it cant be set back on.

*to change a small thing could end up being a big thing*

I know some might not understand what I’m saying fully.
And im sure i will get it tweaked more over time.

BB. Tymar

[Tymar]

I watched Shrink Rap with Pamela Connolly interviewing Sarah Ferguson tonight. ABC2

And I felt it touched on some of what I have been experiencing but I didn’t think I needed to look at it again as I thought everything in that area was fine..
Sure at first I thought, wow different personalities, but after listening and taking in what I heard I started relating to what she was trying to express, the inner child and the rebellious side.
And always wanting to keep the inner child safe, hence the rebellious side would come out and stand guard.

Not wanting to get hurt or upset, just simply wanting the support and the joy and so in doing so just like Sarah said her rebellious side, She also put on the armour.
For Sarah this was weight, and for me I wondered, maybe this is also why I put on why weight again, after fighting so hard to reach down deep and find those hidden blocks. Seeing them and address them. Feeling healthier and stronger for being me.

I looked back only quickly, while the show was on, but in doing so I realised now this is an area now which I need to work on.
I realised that I was attacked again, but this time by people I that had my best interests at heart ( friends ), with comments attacking my choices.
Of course not the ones I had already become strong with, like my belief or my choices of dress, food, favourite colors etc, because I did work on these.. I found me in a lot of issues.

I just never seemed to have addressed what if my relationship was under attack by others.
To me if anything was brought up, it was about my x-husband. And I faced and dealt with all of that in my journey, although that part of my life was over now and I was dealing with moving on.
Dealing with being a woman, even though I was told I would never make it on my own. What would happen when you get old and grey, you wont have anyone to look after you.. and so on.
That I would never be able to have a house without a man helping me, or a full time job, but I handled that, I worked on that, I was strong in my self belief of myself being able to do anything I set my mind to, all those issues were dealt with.

The one thing that stood out in this interview for me was I was wearing armour but why, I looked back briefly… to the start of my relationship..
I know that my heart had just started to learn to feel again to accept caring that wasn’t someone wanting to gain something from me, but someone that just showed that they cared. This is an ongoing process, and with each stumbling block I will trip then gain a greater understanding, this is why I stayed here (when given my choice)..
And I was honest with my partner as we both step together to something neither of us had experienced before. A deeper caring for another.

But I haven’t addressed this with myself, what others would say about someone I had great feelings for, how would I handle it, of course my strong rebellious side jumps up.. And when starting to get attacked, it found safety in putting on my Armour..
This is the issue I must now address.
With comments like..
You can do better.
You can have anyone you want.

Have I now made it safe for myself… Where these comments don’t come my way any more. But my health is now suffering.

I know I will now fight this, now that I have found why…
Now that I have talked it over with my partner and touched on why and how.

This is the next lesson I have to learn.