my bf

[katrebelNY]

OMG my exboyfriend used to be obsessed with me and would call me 1000 times a day ( ) and would always want to see me. i broke up with him and he was still that way. after i told him to get help with his cutting problems and i would get help with mine, he still obsessed over me!

now, since i told him that i was moving, he's dropped me out of his life. that horrid part is, i love him!!! i am sooo in love with him, and it's taken his absence for me to realize that! i miss him so much and he'll be back in ohio soon, cuz he's vacationing in his hometown in Arkansas, but I want him back!!!! I am in love with him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him and marry him and have his children and be his companion FOREVER!!!!! i wish he would obsess over me again. how do i convince him that i love him?

[Marie*]

Okay, any obsessive relationship is not a healthy relationship. And if you both have cutting problems then those things are being triggered by other emotional problems, which a stressful relationship does not to be mixed with. I suggest you find out for yourself what that really is about. As far as getting your Boyfriend back. You might say you really love him and you want to be with him and spend forever with him, but do you really want to be in an obsessive relationship? I don't know you or him, so I can't say for sure, but I do know that obsessors usually become much worse. You don't need any extra emotional stress then what you are already going through. You should really try to stop thinking abou thim so much. Maybe you aren't even really in love with him, but you are in love with the idea that someone can love you so much. Love is not about being obsessed. Please try to care for yourself and get yourself better. Clear your head, and really think about what you want out of life.

Marie

[katrebelNY]

well, Marie, I never eally thought about it that way. However, he wasn't obsessed in so much of a bad way. I told him that he was being obsessive on several occasions and he told me that he never heard that from anyone before, and that it was the way he showed that he cared for me. he tapered down and things were better...then all the cutting and breaking up happened. so....i dunno.

as far as the cutting, i am still dealing with trying to stop, and he has given me good advice since he stopped. i just can't stop, it's addictive. but, i am so in love with him not the idea of him loving me back, i am sure of that. he is funny, talented, patient, kind, supportive, and doesn't push me into anything. he's so romantic!

[moonlit]

don't EVER say you CANT stop. You can . you can do it. I had a friend who cut herself for years and she stoped. It takes support from others, the realization that it's harmful and will power, It can be done. My friend cut herfelf sence she was in middle school and shes now 20 and hasnt cut for about a year. You can do it just keep telling yourself that you can. Find other ways to relieve your stress and pain. I know It will be hard but keep trying. I dont know what its like to be a cutter.... I never will. but I know what its like somewhat cuz when my best friend went through it I went through it too.

Oh and as for the love advice... I know what you mean.. you never really know how much you love someone till they are gone.. even if they were totally annoying or obsessive. lol

[GloryFades]

I was cutting myself for about 3 years, I sort of got off of it, sometimes it was from a complete lack of attention and others it was sheer frustration and pain. I promised my boyfriend I would never do it again and I havent. It did however take alot of will to get out of it, after a while it became a rhythm, I did it wether I was in pain or not. I knew it was wrong to do it and I really didnt want to mess up my body and I just stopped realising it got me no where, I've just been told I have borderline personality disorder and the symptoms sound awfully like me and if I do have it then that was a contributing factor. One of my friends cuts herself shes a best friend/worst enemy type friend and we have no contact with eachother so I can't stop her. I have tried many a time and it really upsets her other friends, I think I might be one of the few, if not the only one, who can stop her as we've been through some of the same things and none of her other mates are really like me at all so me and her are more alike in many ways. But I still don't know how to stop her, It's better if you do stop trust me, I got sick of hiding my body because of cuts and I was scared that employers might see them. You should try and make a realistic list of the positive things it does for you and why you do it. I've read elsewhere that people suggest holding an icecube, there's all the pain but no scars. Good Luck.....Hope I've helped And about the boy, maybe you're in love with the attention

[Starwitch]

Most people that cut themselves do have borderline personality disorder. You might want to check into that.

[katrebelNY]

no offense or anything...but (if u were talking to me) is that ur diagnosis for every1? bcuz i just got out of a counseling program and I have been removed from my home and all of that "wonderful" custody stuff and am about to live with my aunt and uncle and i have stopped cutting.so, unless"crazy and bipolar mother" is a symptom of BPD, I don't think I have it.

[Starwitch]

Actually, having a crazy mother is one of the main reasons that some people get BPD. You don't HAVE to have a crazy mother to get it, but it is a large contributing factor. BPD is not well understood. Even some counselors won't tell you if they suspect you have it because they think you can't handle the truth. You may not have it at all, but when I hear about your obsessive relationship with your ex and your cutting problems and your bi-polar mom, it really sounds VERY likely that you do have it. Denial is the first symptom. Just kidding, denial has nothing to do with it.

[JBRaven]

I come from a long line of BPD. My mother's side every woman has it. Me personally I don't belive I do. I see what BPD does to people without thier meds. If it is just depression I still say get on meds. They work for a lot, it might take a while to find the right mix but at least have regular counsuling sessions. Talking really helps. It isn't good to get defenseive when people are just trying to help. Love and be loved

[katrebelNY]

--it sound like i have it? oh my god i am so much of a hypochondriachy its hilarious!!! im scared now!!!!!

[Starwitch]

Well, try not to get too wrapped up in it, but if you have serious emotional problems, it's certainly something to look into. I think many of the people from the BPD web sites make such a huge deal out of having BPD. They lose their husband's over it and their whole life is ruined. I personally have not had such a hard time with it. It's not as bad as they make it sound so try not to be too scared.