What to do?

Post by **Kim** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:06 pm

I really like this guy, but I don't know what to say to him. My friend thinks that we would be perfect together, but he lives pretty far away from me... So I'm kind of in a bind.....what should I do?

Post by **Sobek** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 12:54 am

Kim wrote:but I don't know what to say to him.

How 'bout starting with something along the lines of, "Hello, how are you?".
Not only is it practical...but you are likely to get an answer that may initiate a follow up question and maybe even a conversation.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:25 am

ROFL i think she already had that part behind her

Sobek.

but you could try it out, but my (well actually my lill bro's) expierence is, is that it doesn't work out.

how far away are we talking here, and how much can you see him?

[Melissa] · Post by **[Melissa]** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:01 pm

Bless you sweetie.
I think you should play it by ear. Have you ever had any feelings that maybe he likes you back?
If it was me I would befriend him and maybe get to know him first. See if you have any interests that you both like, that you can talk about, talking about one thing can lead to talking about a lot of other things, then you can see if you maybe have anything there.
It can be embarrassing when you just come out and say "I like you" so if you don't want to do that just hope your friendship with him will make you comfortable enough in the future to come out and say it.
Even though he lives far away it doesnt mean you can text, MSN, email etc. to get to know him.

Hope that helped hunnie.

Post by **[SanityIsLost]** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:20 pm

I agree with Melissa, you don't want to come on too strong so start out getting to know him, maybe hang out a bit. How far away does he live? Would you be able to see each other or is he too far away to even see him? Not that long distance relationships can't work but they are harder. If you really just want to go for it then just tell him how you feel, and if he doesn't have the same feelings then at least you tried and you can still be friends.

Post by **jcrowfoot** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:17 pm

Presuming you got the "hello how are you" out of the way, find out what his likes and dislikes are and so on. It may sound "lame" but it does go a long way towards getting the interest flowing. It's a step that a lot of people forget in their hurry to get to the bedroom.

Post by **Kim** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:54 pm

Thanks a bunch!

But yes I've already got the hello part out. We are pretty good friends, but I'm not sure if he likes me the same way. Lol. Eh..That was another thing that I was afraid of. He lives a couple of states away.

But I think that maybe sometime I could talk to him on the phone, but I haven't worked up that much courage!

But I haven't talked to him since Saturday. And he hasn't been online.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 6:27 pm

well, you could lead such a conversation in the way were you can find out if he likes you.

i don't know how good you are at subtlety but just let the conversation flow and just drop a lead here and there and see if he bites.

[Melissa] · Post by **[Melissa]** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 2:15 pm

hmmm so your already friends, thats a great start hunnie. But I know what you mean about him living far from you, a couple of states isn't exactly him living just down the street.

I really think that time will out on this one and don't be afraid to make the first move in times like this.
When I was about 14-16 I was fine with asking boys out because I had that courage every child has but when I was 17-20 I was so afraid to ask guys out, I went through a faze of having no courage in myself, no confidence to see things through and no value in myself that I was good enough.

Everyone is afraid at one time in their lives but you have to take charge in you life to know that your alive.
Some risks are good for you and at the end of the day if you do decide to ask him out if it doesn't work out at least you'll still have a friend at the end of it.

I'm not telling you to ask him if he likes you because that's a choice you have to make and I still stand by what I said before about taking time to get to know each other properly is best, I'm just saying that you are worth it and you do deserve happiness but happiness is what we bring about ourselves and if I were you I'd take a chance on it or at least think about it.

Post by **wiccachicken** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:09 pm

Well my experience...is it's best just to ask. It can be embarassing however, I have had good experience from it. If he says 'no' then it's out of the way and you can just stay friends. If he says 'yes' then faaaabulous.

Distance is hard to overcome though. If he way way away, like over the other side of the planet, I would discourage you from that. But if he's like 30 miles away then go for it.

4 years ago, I asked a boy if he liked me....now Im still with him!!!! GO FOR IT GIRL!!!!!

Good luck

:D:D:D:D x x x

Post by **Revolpathon** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:39 pm

he's a couple of state's away. does that classify as other side of the world?

i still think you should go about it subtly, that way it will flow more..... right that doesn't sound right.

but asking it outright kinda forces him into thinking about it, but if done subtly he'll think about it and it wouldn't come as a cold bomb.

also you could just try to drop a hint here and there, and a bit of flirting, or do both things.

your choice. but long distance relationship's are hard, because you miss the physical part of it then.

Post by **Kim** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:13 pm

This is actually a lot of help! He lives Not the border state to mine but the border state to my border state. lol does that make since?

He lives Apr. 400 miles away... and I want the physical part too, lol

But I think that I could live with out it for a while....I just wish that he could get online more...I haven't talked to him for a while. But I think that I'll try to go for it......Is that a good choice?

:

Post by **Revolpathon** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 3:19 pm

did you web-cam with him?

cause with internet relationships you alway's have to keep the fact in the back of your head that that person isn't alway's truthfull.

i just read this in a topic that's located in love, made by Pav, but apparently there was a girl who comitted suicide because her online boyfriend broke up with her, the police found the guy and it turned out that the guy was 20 yrs older than her.

i think it's your choice, but be carefull.

Post by **Kim** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 5:28 pm

Ooh, Thats not good.

But Idk....I mean I trust him. But Yeah I know that u have to be careful...

Post by **[cherokeewind]** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:15 pm

Well, I've heard plenty of horror stories of Internet dating just like everyone else. The town I just moved from was one of those tiny specs on the map. Even at the corner of Main street down town, only a 4-way stop...no stoplights in town. Yet there are people who can tell you about how some girl that once lived there got stabbed to death from a guy out of state. All she wanted to do was to get married.

But there are tons of men getting foreign brides. You have probably met people who have adopted a child from the Ukraine? Expensive to say the least, I know some who have a child they adopted (from the Ukraine). The matrimonial agencies, I imagine can work something like that, except the success is only 75%. That means about 25% failure for the single man. Believe it or not, these agencies are booked up throughout most of the year now.