The grass is always greener on the other side.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

I don't usually trust easy.. so it took quite a lot of contemplating to post this up here, even though I like what I see on this board. Y'all seem nice so please don't take offense. Just a bad past, and that's all I'll say on that for now.

Anyway, as my first blog post, I want to talk about those people in your life that pretend to be your good friend then go off on a rampage, any opening they get and talk bad about you. It recently happened to me, and the person that did it is someone who I would have never expected to do it. I mean, she's told me a Hell of a lot of her troubled past and all kinds of things that I bet not even 2% of the people she talks with know.

Right now I don't know what the heck to do. I can tell everyone that she knows how she talks behind their back and how she really had a husband whom she cheated on numerous times with these so called friends of hers. She is also a supposed 'Black Witch' even though I don't use the term, that's what she called herself. She did a lot of black magick on people who she deemed deserving of it. It was part of her troubled past and getting severe revenge on people.

Anyway, she fell in 'love' with someone she met on the Internet, and they've been dating ever since, and in the middle of it, her husband dies of the Cancer he had been struggling with for many years now. I comforted her about it and she told me she had done a spell to make his condition worse and ultimately kill him. Nice thing to do to your husband, huh? But yeah, now she's engaged to this other guy like a month after her original and deceased husband died.

Okay, so knowing that, you are all probably shocked, or just in disbelief because it all just sounds so dramatic and made-up. I promise -I- didn't make this up, but she may have, I really don't care; either way it's nothing nice to say. But, the thing that really irked me was when she contacted an ex-boyfriend of mine and blabbed to him about how I was "stepping over him" and never really loved him. I was pissed OFF because she said she got this information straight from me, and I can quite honestly say I never said I didn't love him. I told her that the relationship wasn't working for me and I broke it off with him.

Since this is my own blog, I don't need to apologize for just blowing up like that, right? Well, I do anyway, I apologize. I'm just very upset that this would happen, because if anyone had been a backstabber in the.. about six to seven months that I've known her, it was her. She would backstab me, and I would forgive her for it and just move on with the friendly relationship I tried to maintain with her. I should've been smarter than that, and incase anyone is wondering, no, this is not the reason I'm not very trusting.

Anyway.. my Birthday is approaching.. January twenty-fourth and I'm trying to stay happy until then so I won't ruin my own big day. Also, I just got all my spellcasting supplies (Athame, altar, etc.) and I'm waiting until January twenty-second, the night of the Full Moon to consecrate my altar with holy water. Thanks to Maku for giving me that little piece of information.

Talk to y'all soon.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

I'm baaaaaaaaaack! Yay me! Okay, well, I had an amazing night last night and talked to a guy I really, really, really like all night long until 3A.M. lol.. thankfully I have free minutes on weekends!

Anyway, I sent the ex-friend an e-mail with some attitude telling her that I do not appreciate what she is doing behind my back and if she continues to backstab me like the snake she is, I'll gladly step up and fight fire with fire, even though that's usually the bad thing to do. I'm young, sue me.

Anywhom, I really don't have a lot to write about today.. other than my friend is sending me a gorgeous tarot card deck as a late Christmas gift. We get each other the same thing, so yes, she got a tarot card deck in return. I'm looking into Tarot magick to see what kind of spells I can perform with them. Wish me luck on finding a good book. <3

Later,
Julia.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

Okay.. well, I found out a lot about myself this last past week. No, nothing deep down or emotional. I don't think this is the time or place to share most of it.. lol. But I will share that I had a wonderful birthday and got some pretty cool presents! My mom bought me a truly beautiful athame.. my other one was nothing compared to this one! Thankfully I didn't bless the other one.. I'd have trouble letting go of it regardless of looks. I also got two incense burners, a cone one and a stick one, and some actual stick incense.

Other than that my life hasn't been that interesting.. I've fought with my sister a few times, over something trivial. She thinks she can barge into a house of sleeping people(And keep in mind my pajamas are very light, which makes it worse.) with her boyfriend and start fooling around with him on the couch. Uh-uh, no way, Jose. First of all, not only is it rude and disgusting, but the couch itself can be very noisy, and her boyfriend snores like no there is no tomorrow. Besides, doesn't he have a house he can sleep in? Ugh.. Does it ever end!?

Anyway, I now have a total of thirteen books on The Craft and I must say, reading them while riding the school bus is very, very enjoyable. The ride is just long enough(Thirty minutes or so.) for me to get in a good amount of information that I can ponder or use later on into the day. An alternative to this is talking to my friend(Witchy Woman on the board.) which is also very fun and enjoyable and doesn't allow me to slip into moods of loneliness. I've been reading Silver Ravenwolf's How To Stir A Magickal Cauldron mostly. She has some pretty nifty ideas in that there book of hers.

Old enough to drive! Yay! I must admit I am terrified of the idea of being on the highway or any busy street alone. Terrified I tell you! I've heard of too many vicious accidents to eff around on the road, trust me.

Not much else to mention.. except that I am tired. Oh so dead tired. And if my mom wakes up and finds me firmly planted infront of a glowing box at 4:39AM in the morning, I assure you all, you will not be seeing me for a while.

Night.
Julia.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

Well, I didn't get caught! If any of you even care. Today was tiring.. But only because I fell asleep at 2 AM and had to be woken up at 7:30 AM. Sad, I know, but it was nobody's fault but my own. I stayed up all night defending my friend and talking to my other on my phone. When she had to go, I finally hit the hay. I had a really rough time being woke up for school.. blegh. All I heard was mom's voice playing in a cycle that lasted for hours: "You're going to be late.. You're going to be late.."

So, I got into English class and of course, Ms. Singer asked: "So, what are some holidays or celebrations your family have, for things not common like Christmas, Halloween, etc?" I quickly raised my hand, and I assure everybody, I was the only one to have the guts to do it anyway, and told her I celebrate the Sabbats. She asked what they were and I explained it to her. As soon as the word "Wiccan" slipped from my lips, I found that we had two very unfriendly Christian boys in the class.

They immediately began asking me questions, with a bit of both anger and shock in their voice, until one of them told the other to "Shhh." and said "Witchcraft doesn't exist and I don't *think* that, I *know* that." I told him he could believe what he wanted to, and he went on to blab about how we was right, yada yada yada. The girl I've been getting to know better, Rachel, asked to go see a counselor. I thought might be Christian and, sitting right next to me, got unnerved.

I sat in the classroom all by my lonesome until Rachel came back and upon seating herself, asked me: "Hey, Julia, I didn't know you're a Wiccan?" I nodded. "Well, I'd say Pagan is more accurate." Her eyes lit up. "Really!? I'm a Wiccan!" And from there, I knew we had a friendship ready to blossom. So I counted the day as more of a blessing than anything else. If the two other people don't accept me for who I am and what I believe in, I don't need to pay them any mind at all.

Peace, love, light.
Julia.

[Makbawehuh]

*Blows a whistle for attention, calls for further postness* *Cause she can* *Leaves a random huggle for you to find*

[stormer89]

witchcraft doesnt exist.. ha funny. close minded people irk me. but sometimes they gotta make you laugh. thats cool you made a friend out of the situation.
blessed be.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

Hey all. Sorry for disappearing for so long! I missed all of you! I really did. Anyway.. I just wanted to say that my life is going OK. And as much as I want to complain about some little things, I feel I'm going to regret it by attracting negativity towards myself.

I. AM. SO. HAPPY. IT. IS. SPRING! I really cannot stress to you how delighted and overjoyed I am to have warm weather again. Ugh, this Winter was -horrible-. HORRIBLE, I tell you. We got one foot of snow -total-. I mean, the holidays were okay, but, still.. Ugh. So much stress was built up during this year's Winter. I'm complaining, aren't I? Oh well..

Anyway, my writing block has finally ended. Thank God! Not being able to express myself through writing had me in tears almost every other day. It is a huge and important part of my life, writing, and everything that goes with it.

Anyway, I can't think of much else too post. Most likely because there is so much I need to catch everyone up on. I'll post again soon!

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

First off, I'd like to thank Mak for keeping up with my bitching on MSN. I don't know what I'd do without you, girl. *Finds the huggle and returns it.*

With that said and done.. Still no sign of Mr. Ziggie. Like I've said before: "Poor little guy." .. He'll be missed, surely. I've pretty much given up on looking for him, since it's been a week now. I don't think a hamster can live without food or water for a week. So.. I've decided to put much thought into an astral temple.. Like what Mak has been telling me to do for -months- now. Best part is, I won't need to spend over $100,000.00 buying all the dang furniture for the place. So I'm going to make this place my dream house. Hopefully I don't lose concentration and forget what I was putting on the left wall of the living room..

Anyway, my life has been going good since the last I've updated this blog. I haven't really casted any spells in a while, but I plan to, very soon. My mother has a cold, so I'm going to cast for her, and, well.. I'm not really sure if I should cast some of the.. "requests" I've gotten. Lemme explain.

My gal friend at school has a crush on almost every guy in the building.. I don't complain, but when she asks me to cast a spell (Not exaggerating here, people.) on -every- single one of them? Not only do I fear that one of them might backfire, but I've never casted a manipulative love spell on anyone, and while I'm very willing to take the dang consequences it might summon.. I don't know what to expect.

The boys could all get into a fight over her, a crush can turn into a dangerous obsession, or my friend might not be satisfied with "forced love", and I'd be the one to blame because now they're trapped in a pair of glasses designed to make their eyes follow her. I might sound paranoid, but that's what I do. I worry for myself and my friends.

..

Another problem at school is with a fellow writer, who I am starting to get seriously irritated with. Him and I became good friends quickly when I came to the school, but now? He's probably on my "list", if you do get my drift.. Not that I'm going to curse him or anything, but UGH, it's my right as a human to be infuriated when he pulls bullshit.

Bullshit like how he only "talks to me" when he sees I'm not happy about something, and looks to smear it in, or how he tries to win my friend back. In fact, that's how I think all of this was started: My friend. He's liked her ever since he's met her. Seriously, it was like the love-at-first-sight scenes you might see in a teenage comedy romance flick. He immediately fell head-over-heels.

So.. Now that I'm her best friend and her and I are attached at the hip, he's jealous, and thinks that being stupid, rude, ignoring me, and saying "I loved you longer." to my friend when -I- tell her I love her.. Is going to MAGICALLY fix his problem. No way, Jose. All it is going to do is eventually start a fight, and I have my story straight for when I'm called to the head teacher's office.

[Makbawehuh]

RIP Ziggie. Maybe you should do a little offering of chopped carrots for him?

And sweetie, you tell her to cast her own damned spells. >.< If she wants to have all eyes on her, she can work up the guts to do it herself, and take all the consequences of it herself when all eyes are on her and she flubs it big time.

*huggles* Good to see you bloggin' again!

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

Have you ever felt your hatred for all humanity could consume the earth in its gormandizing eternal blackness? I have. I will admit it, I have a problem with people. People have a problem with me. I'm on the internet to take shelter from the reality, because it has been harsh on me. Few know what has been done to me in the past, and I'm not here, writing to all of you right now to express it; I'm here to express just whatever my emotions will provide, before my fingers snap. I like having an outlet.. Hopefully it remains writing, and talking it out.

I feel like I'm on the verge to snap right about now. I have never felt so sure about actually killing myself. I'm not going to assure you that I'm not "over emotional" or that I'm not "gothic" because my views are beyond that, I am more evolved than that, or I try to be. Isn't that all that counts? Some people don't kill themselves for attention. Nobody asks for their lives to suck. Nobody asks to be born even, it just happens. It just happens when your face is torn to bits by a shotgun, and you happen to survive. It just happens that you were born with a disease that eats away at your flesh. You should still be loved, no matter what.

I know people aren't here to serve me. But, is asking to be treated like a human no matter what I wear, what I can afford, or what disease or mental disorder I have too much for some people? Not all people can make it through life. Not because they want to look cool, and not because they titled themselves, or wanted to sacrifice their soul to their particular deity. Some people do it to actually avoid running into the same problems they've run into face-first no matter how many years ago.

Many witches realize that your words and actions always have an affect on others. Whether it be magical, -magickal- or not. I personally let people believe karma will come back to them, sometimes threefold, sometimes not, but I do not let them tell me what I do will come back to -me-. You need to learn your place, and remember that you chose to become a witch. You weren't stripped of your humanity until you decided to cast a spell. So why is it so hard to let another person believe in what they want to believe?

I just wish people would get off my back for once. I've had school-related troubles in the past, and yeah, it has stuck to me like white on rice. I don't always forgive, but I never forget. I will remember everything you've done to me, whether nice or bad, until the day I die. It's just who I am.. Which some people don't understand. "Oh, that was a long time ago. Learn to let go." What if I don't want to? If I want to relive the horror every morning of my life, it's my decision. Yes, it may make going to school hard, but damn, am I really supposed to just forget that people were so cruel? I've learned a lot from it.

I've grown a hell of a lot from when I was that small, but I never "outgrew" those memories. School.. Let's just say I have a hard time getting up, knowing that in an hour or two I'll have to face the ACTUAL problem: getting dressed, and getting out the door. I'm happy once my foot gets past the door I've just pulled open. Is it that wrong to ask for a little more help to get me to school? Am I dead? Have I given up? Have I turned down everything? No, of course not. If my best isn't enough, isn't it what these people are here for? Why was I sent to a private school in the first place?

For help. Am I receiving it? No. Anyway.. I guess I should say this now. I'm never serious about killing myself, but I'm always serious when I say I'm having thoughts about it, or want to. If I ever wanted to, you can all rest assured that I'd call a hotline, or a friend before I did anything drastic. They're the ones that are there for me.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

With that all said and done, I can get on to my magical life blog. Thank you Sobek for providing me with some information on the planets, especially Pluto. I guess that's what has interested me lately: Plutonian energy, and planets in general. I like how they each have their own energy, it really interests me. Although I haven't yet dabbled in anything directly related to a planet, I plan to in the near future, starting with Pluto. If anyone could be so kind, if you have ever played around with Plutonian energy, could you send me what the spell was, and the results? I'd greatly appreciate it.

On the topic of spells, I'm still searching for a "wedding day" spell for that someone close to me. So far I've only come up with meditation for a clear mind, and plenty of bed rest so her stress levels don't go skyward. On the other hand, meaning spells I have casted recently, just a spell for my best friend to get well. She was having a terrible cough, so I threw in a lot of tools in my working (Mainly things associated with colds and coughs in general. Tissues, cough drops, and even a band aid, as they are associated with the words "Ouchie" and "Boo-boo".) and wala!:

The spell worked wonders for her. Even though my mom later threw out the picture I drew (I attached all my "tools" to the picture, placing the band aids on her chest, where it hurt when she coughed.) out, it still worked wonders for her, and I was left wholesomely satisfied, because my spell worked, and because she was now coughing less, and the pain had entirely gone.

I still haven't created myself an astral temple, mostly because I want to actually know how to astral project before I do. Some people say you only need meditate to visit your temple, but I'm still compelled to learn how to astral project. This is almost like what I did before I began casting spells. I read tons of books (Even though I knew at the time that you most follow your OWN heart when working with magic!) just so I could feel like I knew the theory of most magic types, if I ever wanted to work with them. I like to know how to properly do things before I try and set sail.

But the one thing I have learned that practice really, really does make perfect (Conjuring energy takes WAY less time than it used to!) and that you don't always need to go through tedious tasks to get one thing done. Again, this has been a satisfying chapter of my life as a witch.

[Spell_of_The_Isle]

'Kay, I'm back to blogging, and with bad news. =[ I've once again caught an obsession.. I'm a sucker for a pretty face and sweet music. Oh well.. These things usually happen around Summertime for me, I don't know why. Summer lovesickness, I guess. =P

I haven't casted a spell in quite some time still, but I haven't really had the need for one, unless it be a curse, and I don't particularly like the idea of throwing those around without some serious thought first.

That's all I have to say for now.. Bad mood.