New relationship?

[pixiedust] · Post by **[pixiedust]** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 8:21 am

I jst started going out with a guy tht i met in my dance class things went ok at the start bt now im getting very scared he seems to have got violent for no reason and he's starting to do some of things tht i expirenced in my previous relationship im jst worried im now gettin in2 another abusive relationship i don't know wot ive done i should of never met him now he's been saying things to me horrible things and the other day he hit me for no reason wot should i do?

Post by **Sercee** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:09 am

Get out now.

If you've expeienced a violent relationship before and you're already noticing things that worry you, trust your instincts and leave before he has a chance to even consider it.

Post by **Draconis** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:22 am

Sorcee's advice is proberly the best advice anyone can give. I also suggest breaking it off, and if your fearful that he may have an outburst of rage/anger/etc when you do tell him, i suggest haveing a friend with you or tell him in a crowded area like in a shopping center or something that way if he does get angry/violent your friend could stop him and/or people around could aswell.

But Sorcee has the best advice, get out

Post by **Suki1016** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 4:02 pm

Definitly! Get out now. I can't stress that enough. Though, I think you hooked up with him for a reason, it could be to give you the strength to learn how to stick up for yourself. But there is no pride or loyalty issue here. Just break up with him, don't ever be associated with him again and warn your friends. Men like that can only hurt you. All above warnings apply too.

[pixiedust] · Post by **[pixiedust]** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 4:52 pm

All ive ever had is a run of bad luck in realtionships my previous one was abusive i was abused for 8 months and before tht sexually abused...wot have i done..i can't trust any one now now i jst can't look at men in the same way..this is all my fault some one must really hate me 2 have deserved this...today..he pushed me down to the ground and called me a sick cow...i cried and cried and he told me to grow up and ger a life

Post by **Sercee** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 5:01 pm

Ok, this may not be my place, but...

DON'T YOU DARE say that what he is doing is your fault. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! People hurt others because they make a consious decision to do so, and he is now making the decision to hurt YOU and YOU DON'T DESERVE IT.

Some people have a tendency, usually because of past experiences, to be drawn towards abusive partners. Actually, a lot of people do this. All you can do is remember that you are strong and good and you have friends and family that love you and will tell you so. Don't let bastards like that control your life and your emotions.

I have experienced this kind of relationship and survived. If you need to, feel free to pm me.

You can do this *big hug*

Post by **Suki1016** » Mon Nov 13, 2006 7:27 pm

Omg! Ok. You have to end it. You can't let him do that to you! You desearve better! No one desearves to be put down like that! And you didn't do anything! He needs to get a life and grow up! No mature grown man would be stupid enough to do that to any woman! Leave him. You're better than that!

[pixiedust] · Post by **[pixiedust]** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 4:14 am

I confronted him...and i was petrified so i said to him our relationship is over and he asked me y and i explained to him bout his behavior towards me and he flipped...now he says he will force me 2 be with him weather i like it or not i kept sayin y and he said because he loves me he grabbed my arms and pushed me into the wall and talked in my ear and told me you'd never leave me and he was laughin at me cause if you left me id come and find you and he said now u wouldn't want to do anything you might regret and he kissed me and laughed off

Post by **Sercee** » Tue Nov 14, 2006 9:16 am

Go to the police and your parents.

[pixiedust] · Post by **[pixiedust]** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 7:08 am

I can't go 2 the police ive been thro this before if i do he will hurt me i know he will and my parents they don't care they never have

Post by **Eretik** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 7:44 am

That was a direct threat - go to the police. You are letting the memory of previous fear and experience allow him to control you - he knows this. He 'll get you if you do? honey, he'll get you if you don't. Do you have a choice? no - GET HELP NOW. Why do I care? been there done that - still got the scars- Get him out of your life.

O.K. I checked your msn and you are in the U.K. I am going to go look up advice for you online, you could do with talking to Women's Aid - they will be able to advise you on steps to take. I'll P.M. you later.

Post by **Sercee** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 8:40 am

Thank you, Eretik. I'm glad someone is close enough to her to help.

Post by **Sobek** » Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:37 pm

ooh, you have an obessive psychotic, he says he will force you to be with him, if you can force him away on your own you need help, cops are the safest way to go and in your best interestest .you know what, you already have done the hardest part, the confrontation is by far the most difficult step. you know what you have to give up on the idea you've been there before or you will forever be going there again.

pain may be great but you know the excellent thing about pain, given time it goes away, but only when you dont let it control you.

Post by **Suki1016** » Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:11 pm

I agree with all things above. Police, Police, Police. That's why they're there. he can't force you to do anything you don't want to as long as you have the law behind you. No matter what personal experiences you have you should seek help. Hire a lawyer if you have to! Your life is yours and only yours. It can never belong to him or anyone else.

[pixiedust] · Post by **[pixiedust]** » Mon Nov 20, 2006 4:56 am

I..locked the doors..all of them when he went off the other day..he was drunk..so i phoned the police...i can't say i was lookin forward to tht especially when they came round i ....he came bck noticed the police was round my house and he threatend me said i was a evil and f...idiot and tht he'd come to kill me...they arrested him on spot...he won't hurt me..trying to take tht in now...ive had to change locks and everything..i have a court calling next week..i don't want to go

Everything Under the Moon

New relationship?

New relationship?

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