Worried

Chrisofsmeg · Post by **Chrisofsmeg** » Thu Apr 06, 2006 6:37 pm

Probably nothing to be concerned about but hey, I like to be reassured sometimes.

I want to tell my dad that I've chosen to become Pagan as it feels wrong to keep it from him as we are very close. On the other hand I don't know whether I should because I'm not sure how he'll react to it. I've told other members of my family, but I'm just worried about him because he's the most important person I'm gonna have to tell.

What does everybody think I should do?

Chris

Post by **Hera#76** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 6:32 am

I think you should wait until you are more comfortable with it yourself then speak to your dad in a more general way first about wicca, see what he thinks about it first. Really you do not have to tell him anything.

Chrisofsmeg · Post by **Chrisofsmeg** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 7:30 am

I know, but it just seems so wrong not to tell him. I'll wait a little while before I try and tell him I think.

Chris

Post by **Hera#76** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 8:59 am

Well it is up to you. I have not told my parents yet because I am still learning and reading up on Wicca so I would not be able to answer questions that my mum would pose, adequately enough for her to understand, without gettting paranoid.

I also don't live at home anymore so I guess that makes it easier as well. I view it this way, what difference would it make to her life if I did tell her and how would it alter our relationship? Nowing my mum, it would alter our relationship quite a bit and it would make things awkward between us, if she doesn't know then it makes my life easier with her and wicca itself has helped me learnt o be more tolerant of her and her own opinions. I have learnt not to question her opinions, I will contradict them if they are not what I believe in but I would not question her in order to change her opinions, as she doesn't mine. I know if I told her about wicca though then this situation would change and she would constantly question my motives for things.

Sometimes telling people everything is not the best way forward. I am not saying you should lie but if your dad does not ask then does he really need to or want to know?

Post by **[aphrodite]** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 2:55 pm

I have told my parents but they're pretty laid back so it wasn't really a problem, tell them in your own time and when it feels right.

blessed be
APHRODITE
XXX

Post by **[scifichick]** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 3:42 pm

I think you should do what feels right to you. If you feel uncomfortable by covering your beliefs, I think you should talk about them. After all, you are not trying to convert your dad, you just want to share you beliefs probably because you are excited about them. I would say go for it. Even if he will ask you something that you do not know yet, it's OK to say that you don't know, you are still learning, but this path feels true to you.

Chrisofsmeg · Post by **Chrisofsmeg** » Fri Apr 07, 2006 4:13 pm

Thanks. Much Appreciated

Chris

Post by **Draconis** » Mon Apr 10, 2006 12:05 pm

personally i think you should tell him, incase he finds any of your stuff (books etc). be better to to tell him yourself and tell him about it rather than have him possibley jumping to conclusions. Thats jsut my thoughts but my parents are kinda laid back about it, they were kinda freaked to begin with but now their okay

Post by **thatguy** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:45 am

From an outside perspective you seem to feel bad about even contemplating not telling him. From what little I can tell, if you embark on this path a tiny seed like this bad feeling could grow into a very ugly carnivorous plant ala 'Little Shop of Horrors' as you grow.

Tell him, if he freaks out completely try to stay rational and explain the reasons for your choice, *your* reasons, not what you think will be good reasons to win him to your side, it sounds like he's on your side already. Importantly, really listen to whatever he says even if you disagree. You can still make whatever decisions you want to make and maintain mutual respect even if this creates some tension or awkward emotions or situations.

OK, that was a pretty opinionated reply, sorry about that, this is really just my thoughts, not to be taken as instructions or truth.

best wishes.

Faustos · Post by **Faustos** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 3:49 am

If you decide to live a pagan's life, my advice to you would be - no, do not tell your father.
I told my father .. and it took years before I could return to the pagan path again; my grandfather was also pagan and we've spent some wuality time togheter, but my old man considered it as being nonsense and locked all the old books in the attic; thankfully there's the Internet nowadays.

Anyway, eventually, I've found my peace with my old man but frankly, I regret that I told him. Just a thought.

Post by hedge* » Mon Apr 17, 2006 12:56 pm

I have never told anyone I am pagan, I've never felt the need to. My beliefs are my beliefs and if anyone asks me then I would say but I don't need or desire approval from anyone - but then I am a very private person.

Post by **Draconis** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:30 pm

it depends on your age really and who you live with. Personally i think it better to tell people you live (and close to) so they dont get freaked out if they stumble in on you. But if you live on your own then theres no actual reason to go around telling people

Amber · Post by **Amber** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 9:23 am

wait untill he gets comfterble bey finding out his views and queries i told my parents and they totaly freaked out
good luck

Amber