How to stay Neutral during readings?

[Alura Noel]

Hey everyone,

A little background info: I use to give readings (using Lenormand cards) mostly for friends and family, but now with offering them through the net, obviously I am getting in touch with a lot of different people and their many experiences. Experiences that include infidelity, which is a bit of a "trigger" for me. I'm sure just about everyone has been cheated on in their lives in one form or another and that it's not uncommon. But for me, I'm still really sensitive and definitely biased about the subject. Every man I have been with (besides my husband)or that were important figures in my life, they all have cheated, multiple times. It's something where I grew up with it and saw how unhappy the women in my life were. So the bias there is that I have always felt that it was mostly the men cheating and that they will always cheat, sooner or later. Which is a huge generalization and inaccurate, but regardless of knowing that, feelings aren't always logical. I know that it will take time and "reprogramming" to resolve my personal feelings about this, and have been working on it now every day, but it still affects me on certain levels.


I know that women cheat too and that it's not always so black and white. But regardless of that I am so quick to jump to the man is doing the cheating not the woman. Even with knowing that women cheat too, that's my first thought and I don't think about if it's the woman.

So with the reading's I have been giving people, when adultery does come up, I'm learning how biased and honestly, limiting I am to myself. I feel like because I'm so quick to say the man is the scoundrel I'm not seeing the whole picture or I'm not directing the cards meaning to the right person.

For example, This woman asked if a man she was interested in would contact her soon. She had just told him she had feelings for him and he said he shared the same ones but he didn't say or do anything about it. So based off of the cards i drew, they indicated that he would contact her soon, not immediately but sooner than later, but he probably wouldn't address what she really wanted to know. Which he did end up calling later that week over something trivial.

So then I asked the cards why hasn't he acted on his feelings and hers? I draw cards that pointed to a woman and that the woman was in a relationship. My first thought was that he didn't act on those feelings because HE was in a relationship with another woman. When in fact, he was single but SHE was the one who was in a long-term relationship. He didn't want to be her BF because she already had one.

Or another example that happened last week, a woman wanted to know how this man felt about her, which the cards pretty much said that he didn't know how he felt. So then the next line of questions were, why has he been ignoring her messages and the cards I drew showed that there was another women in the picture and that's why he was ignoring her. Then I asked what was his connection to her, and those cards pointed to an emotional connection. So my first thought was that HE was interested in another woman and had emotional connection to her. Which in reality, was true but there was more to it than that. The lady who was wanting me to ask these questions was the "other" woman. So he was ignoring her messages because he was with his GF or wife. And she felt that she was the one whom he had the connection with. They hadn't been intimate but he had feelings for her and was wanting to take it there.

So, in short, I'm quick to jump to the fact that it's the man who's up to no good when so far, it's been the other way around or both doing it just as equally.

Do any of you other readers experience the same thing? Or same thing but over different subjects?
What do you guys do to overcome your personal biases?
What do you think I could do to help stay neutral and be open minded that it could be the woman or the man?


Phew, sorry for the long essay!

[Heartsong]

I've had that happen to me before, Alura, usually with people that I know. I'll assume that I know exactly what the situation is before I even start the reading, and most of the time I end up looking pretty silly as a consequence.

I don't know if this will be helpful for you or not, but when I'm performing a reading for someone, I ask them not to tell me anything, and I mean ANYTHING, about what they want a reading for. In person, I only ask that they provide me with one word that could describe their question, such as "love", "career", or "path". By going in blind, I feel like I can stay objective.

It might help for you to say a small chant before each reading, a little mantra that you can repeat that you'll remain objective and focused during and after the reading.

[MsMollimizz]

I started not answering questions pertaining to matters
of the heart...
I also don't like doing readings for people I am
close to, "you already knew that about me..."
syndrome.
I would tell them, if when they went out the door
and go left instead of right the whole reading they
got is changed by the actions they take.
Gentle Light
MsMollimizz