Blogging Loona's Studies and questions

[loona wynd]

This blog is going to consist of entries on what I did spiritually that day for an exercise and activity. There will be some rant and some raves about things but overall this will reflect my daily activities. This is to help me show what I have done each day to help me grow. I may post several entries in one day. That is ok. Its just my processing my work here.

Feel free to comment on any of the exercises or things I mention I do that day. This is just my place to record my daily journey while I am on this forum. I process better through the written word than I do anything else. So that is why I am posting here and creating this blog. I also processes things by being asked questions about experiences and thoughts of the day so that is why I encourage you to question me or respond to something I say or mention.

I do have two other blogs on word press. One of them is focused on helping seekers gain insight into different paths and practices and the other is based on the development and foundations of my personal path and tradition. This blog is going to be slightly different and be reflections on what I am reading and studying each day as well as reflections on actions that I have done magically that day.

[loona wynd]

Today after writing my blog post for this weeks entry in the Pagan Blog project I have spent some time going over the first instructional Hoodoo book I read. I actually wrote a review of the book and posted it several places online. I'm realizing now just how much correspondence information was in this book to start with. Now I am adding the information to a notebook. I'm writing down the recipes and the associations.

What I have just finished reading was a section on candle lore. There is still more to this section for me to learn and write down. I have candle colors and candle movements written down from this book. The next section I'm taking notes on is interpreting candle wax. It's going to be a busy evening of writing down associations, recipes, and notes. However writing it in the notebook, then in my records and in an online types form will help me process the information better than I do anything else.

I've found the behavior of candle flames section of the lore and practice to be rather interesting. Its not something I had ever considered before in my workings with various types of fire. I may just start to be more mindful when I do more candle work. This section of the book has also made me realize that I definitely need to increase my stock of candles. I don't have nearly as many non scented small working candles as I would like.

Well that basically consists of what I have done today for an exercise. I am going to do a bit more later on. There is still time in the day. It may be 5 in the evening but that still gives me plenty of time to do more studying, do a ritual or a working. It even gives me time to do other things as well. So back to my studies in Hoodoo.

[loona wynd]

I'm in the process of debating helping a family member with a spirit but there are some issues there. I honestly dont know what I am going to do in this case, considering I know she just friend-ed me on Facebook because I have offered to do something about this for her (but never to her face).

[loona wynd]

As I work through the chapter in the Hoodoo book on elemental magic I realize I have a lot of new ideas to work with in connection to my work with elemental forces and magic. I have always loves working with elemental magic. All of the spells I write are typically based on working magic based on a single element or maybe more based on the context. Now I have several new ideas to consider when working elemental magic.

I know that the incense list, the water list, and even some of the color symbol lists in this book is not complete. I also know that it does not represent all of Hoodoo. I do know that these specific items I have found have given me many different concepts and ideas to work with. I for example never considered looking at the behavior of candles when I work magic with them as a part of understanding if the spell is going to work or not. I also have never really considered the practice of working with dirt or earth from various locations until now.

I am grateful that I have all of these opportunities to develop my own magical theories and practices through the exploration of several different systems. I had been using some concepts found in Cunningham's two elemental magic books for my spell work as well as the idea of ribbons and tying knots for magic. Now I am exploring other traditions and styles of working magic.

I know with Hoodoo that I have a lot to learn. I also know I should look at my own motives for wanting to learn and practice this style of magic. I have some ideas for why I might be interested but I am not sure if they are enough at times to be honest. I'm also not sure entirely if I as a white female have a right to practice an African American folk magic tradition that was developed because of slavery. There are some ethical considerations here that I am working through.

I need to in the next few days also submit my application for training in different traditions and styles of witchcraft. I am going to do my best to establish daily exercises and training practices for psychic development skills as well as magical skills in the mean time till the training starts. I know for myself that having a structure to my training imposed by a teacher has in the past always helped me maintain focus and be able to establish a daily spiritual practice.

So there is a lot brewing for me spiritually and magically right now. This is a dramatic change from a few weeks ago when I wanted to reconnect spiritually but had no motivation to do so. Now I have a lot of options and opportunities for me to study and grow. I'm trying to make decisions on where to go and what to do. Oddly enough that was my blog post today for the pagan blog project.

I do pray daily. I am currently consecrating and building power at my ancestral altar. I do need to do something about the candle I have there for them. The wick is basically unexposed and the wax walls are too high where even if it does burn the liquid wax will extinguish it instantly. I think I am going to try and soften the wax and melt is down on one side of the candle so that new wax will have a place to drip and fall while the wick can still be exposed and be lit for veneration purposes. Until I work with that I do offer them water daily and pray in the morning and at night a prayer I wrote. I also pray a slightly modified version of a prayer written by a Hoodoo author. That prayer resonated with me which is why I used it.

Right now the use of daily prayer has been the biggest way I have worked on developing a daily spiritual practice. Prayer I believe is a good first step. It offers communication and practice of talking to the spirits. It also offers time to connect mentally and spiritually with the sacred each day. So by doing so in the morning and in the evening I am effectively starting aspects of a daily practice where my spirituality and religion become part of my actual life.

[loona wynd]

Its interesting just how different traditions and styles of Hoodoo can be like any other magical tradition. I have one book that is full of prayers and invocations to spirits and gods as part of their conjure practice. I loves seeing those prayers and petitions to the saints and the angels. That is what I associate with Hoodoo-prayers and petition to spirits along with magical acts.

The book I am currently working though says that its almost never used. That would be a contradiction to most people. I see it as different views. One view is much more animistic and believing in the inherent spirit of the items used in the work being the power behind the working while another works more strongly with angelic forces or other spirits for assistance. It all goes with just where in the cultural view of things you go.

I for one thing I am going to go back and forth between calling on spirits and between working with the spirit force in the herbs, stones, and other items used in the spells. I do like the idea of building working relationships with deities and with spirits through magic work and ritual work. I just don't think that all the spells or rituals I do should revolve around that practice. Being able to work spells on my own with the nature spirits and my own spirit force is important to me.

Plus by working with the spirits of the plants or crystals or other nature based objects in the spell work I also gain even more spirit allies. So in some ways no matter how I perform my Hoodoo work I am going to be working with a spirit of some sort. This I guess just plays into one of the definitions I have come across for Hoodoo which is that is is a form of African American shamanism that survives today through folk magic.

[loona wynd]

There have been some new developments in my life that may require a serious working. This would also be my first attempt at a new style of magic. That is one of the reasons I am nervous about doing this working. I have a good idea of the theory involved with these spells. I just have never worked it before nor do I have some one in person I can ask to help me with.

Yet I still feel that this is the right sort of spell working to do. I read about the type of work in one book and thought that it could be useful for something that have been causing unneeded stress in my fiance's life. I have been given blanket permission to do any magical work I deem appropriate to help my fiance' in his life. So I am now really going to start working on that permission. I just in general have not really felt much of a need to work magic. Though now I am starting to see that there is no reason not to do something if it will make your life easier.

Any way back to the spell. A day or two later after I read about the spell one of my friends on Facebook was asking advice for things to include in her own working of the spell. I gave a suggestion and others agreed to me. That was weird. I felt that both seeing some one doing that sort of working and my advice being seconded was a way of my intuition giving me more signals about being more active in my magical workings.

I think I know what I want to do. I just need to look up a few more things before I actually do the spell. I think if I do a little more reading on the subject I can make the working work. I just lack a little bit of confidence right now. I do know that I should just jump in and do it but I also feel that if I just read a little more I can get it done. The idea of a sweetening spell or even a jar spell (aside from a witches jar) is completely new to me.

[loona wynd]

I just finished a section on how to dispose of the tricks or working done in Rootwork best. This is the practice many people refer to as laying the tricks. I guess in some ways it could be considered how the spells are actually sent out into the world. The theories and practices in Hoodoo are definitely different from most of the European styles of magic I have studied and explored. This is actually a good thing as it expands my magical theories and philosophies.

It also gave some good reasons for why tricks would be placed where they should be. Now I knew the first time I read this book and when I wrote the review for it that there was a lot of lore in it. Now that I actually transcribe it I'm amazed at just how much lore and information there is out there for Rootwork. I haven't even gotten to the spells section of the book. This is all a magical theory section of the book. I'm sure there is going to be even more when I actually look into some of the spells provided in this book.

I know one thing. I will have a whole lot of new correspondences to add to my BOS's when I am finished transcribing theory notes, belief notes, and the like from my notebook to my actual BOS. I may even create a BOS just for my work and studies with Hoodoo as well as including it in my personal spell book/magical studies book and my philosophy/journey BOS book. For now I will continue to absorb as much of the information as I can through transcribing notes in my notebook.

The idea of disposing of magical supplies and spell tools after a spell has been cast is something that has always been bugging me at the back of my head. With my packet spells I have either burned them or tossed them into the trash. I know some people would shudder at the idea of simply tossing them in the trash but when you think about it the energy has been placed elsewhere. What else are you going to do with that paper? Still the idea of how to lay a trick or spell to get maximum effect as outlined in this section of theory did get me thinking.

Some of the ideas even made sense to me. The ideas between crossroads and running water seemed to fit along with other folklore beliefs I have heard about as well. In most of the religious and spiritual traditions I have studied the crossroad especially form powerful places for working magic and for spiritual practices. This is a power I have always wanted to explore.

There is a rite I read about in traditional witchcraft that seemed like it might be cool to do. Unfortunately it required a crossroads which was something I had but it wasn't really "secluded" the roads were major roads. Here they aren't really major roads though there are a lot of houses around the area. So I may have to be very creative as to when I find time to work the rite.

It says to do it at night when no one is around but I wonder if it could be as powerful done during the day. There is also the logistics of transporting and carrying my stang down stairs and outside without drawing the attention of or waking up my fiance'. In either case I still have to find a way to not draw attention to myself when performing the rite outside. Thankfully this is a pretty private area and a pretty quiet one. I'm sure if I were to be out with it I could make it look like a night time stroll or something.

Any way if I am meant to do that rite I will find something to make it work. Thats really how I look at it. I will know when it is right to perform that specific rite. Just like I knew it was time to start working the LBRP for myself again and that it was also time to start doing daily and nightly prayers again. I will feel a drive and a desire to perform the work so strongly that really nothing will stop me from doing that work.

For now my inspiration seems to come from mainly Hoodoo. Though I am also having an urge to go deeper into my herbal magic studies. Right now in regards to herbal magic I mostly work it in the form of incense or tinctures. I haven't done much kitchen magic or herbal charm practices. I also haven't done much work with herbs in potions either. I think part of the desire to learn more about herbal magic and herbal work is that I just got a long list of herbs used as charms in Hoodoo lore that makes me wonder a bit more about the lore of plants in European Folk Magic.

Hoodoo is a system of folk magic and folk wisdom that does rely heavily on herbal associations. I mean I believe that is in part where the name RootWoork for Hoodoo comes from as well. So it would make sense that as I learn about new herbs I haven't heard of before I would also want to look at and explore the talisman or charm properties of some of the plants I have worked with before. There is some wisdom and lore out there concerning European Folk Magic and Folk Lore. I just need to find it.

I'm no longer fighting my desire to learn and practice what I read about in Hoodoo. While I am going to continue to read and research and develop my knowledge base in a text and note format I am also going to try and get some practical experience as well. I've found that in the past I let my fears of not doing something right or of not having enough information on a topic get the best of me and never really did the practical work. Now that needs to change. Now I just need to gather a few materials and start crafting one of my tools for Hoodoo.

[loona wynd]

Right now I am exhausted. I've done a spiritual cleaning of my home. While I don't have any washes or anything that are made specifically for the purpose I feel that I can do a spiritual cleansing with basically your normal cleaning tools. That is what I did. I'm really learning to just work with what you have on hand. You can make it work.

My focus was on my ritual room to start charging it and making it a sacred space. However I did work on the whole house. If I am going to make one room sacred in the house I should still keep spiritually cleansing the rest of the house as well. That is the attitude I am taking any way, especially since some of my work may be done in other rooms in the house.

I started with sweeping with my regular broom. As I swept I chanted "Sweep, sweep, sweep away all that does not serve this day". I repeated that chant over and over again. It really built up power. I was seeing the dust and cobwebs in the rooms represent any psychic dirt and residue as well as negativity that has fallen off of me. I saw some white and gray lights working around me as I continue to clean.

My ritual room did have the most intense visualizations and vocalizations, but every room had the same thing. The idea was that I was making every room cleaned and refreshed on a physical level, a spiritual level, a mental level, and an emotional level. We all have those psychic energies that collect in our homes just by us being in there. When that builds up it can cause problems. So I was trying to clean some of these things out.

When I had gathered up all the dirt and dust I opened the trash can. I stated "To the earth may you be dispersed and returned". I saw that as a way of sending the energy away from me and having it be able to to back into the earth without it having to be my back yard. Plus opening the door and throwing dirt outside right now isn't really practical (winter temps and all that).

The next thing I did was I used those wet swiffer cleaning pads. As I cleaned with those pads I saw white light being emitted from them. I focused on the clean and refreshing scent of those pads and began to work again. I was already starting to feel tiered from the work but I knew I wasn't done. I started this section in my ritual room.

As I pushed the pads across the floor I chanted: "Cleanse and clean I consecrate and make this place sacred". I made sure I got into every corner of the room, under my desk, under the altars, and behind the door. I visualized a silvery white light filling the place making it sacred. I actually went over the room I think two or three times depending on how I was standing at the time.

I continued to the bedroom and the bathroom as well as the hallway between them. I said a slightly different chant. "Cleanse and clean, cleanse and clean I wash away the unseen". I repeated that chant as I continued and completed the up stairs and the stairs to the second floor.

The whole ritual took about an hour or so to complete. I feel drained but also spiritually energized at the same time. I have grounded myself by eating lunch. Though I still feel drained I think it was worth doing. I may dig out some sage and do a smudging of the place as well to seal in all the work I did today.

[loona wynd]

As I have been going over my information and notes in my BOS I realize I have learned and experienced quite a bit. It seems that I often don't give myself enough credit on what I have experienced and what my workings teach me. I think part of that might be that I haven't always written everything down.

Right now I have been reviewing my information on the deities of the tradition I am creating through my studies and practices. There is a lot of information written down on the Moon and Sun Gods. I don't nearly have as much information about the other Gods. This is probably something I should correct through more active prayer and meditative work.

There are things I have seen in my books that I am not really sure if I still agree with them or not. I have to think about this. The concept right now that I am trying to see if I still believe in it or not is the belief and concept of the overall Great Spirit that in the end created us all and is the source of everything.

I do believe in a force that exists behind all creation that we can't quite understand fully. I guess it makes sense that this force would be divine. I know there is some force out there that is behind the creation and destruction of the various stars in the universe. This is something that science is still trying to figure out. So this is a mystery that exists both for science and for religion.

I am growing and I am learning spiritually. This is a healthy sign of healthy spirituality. It shows that while I have beliefs and I have had experience I know that there is always something more to explore and experience. I know I wont have all the answers spiritually and that is ok. I just want to learn and experience as much as I can spiritually in this life. I don't think that is a bad goal.

[loona wynd]

So today I did something different with my weekly spiritual cleansing of the home. Normally I have a tv show of some sort on in the background when I am doing any sort of work. Today I decided that I wanted to try and do the work with some spiritual music or instrumental music of some form. So I put on a music station on the blue ray player. The station I choose was nature music.

The music was a lot less distracting. I was able to actually continually focus on the visualization and the removal of the psychic and other negative types of energy that builds up in a home. I also felt that my chant was able to actually be heard by the spirits of my home this time. I was not fighting the TV words and music to make my chant heard. I was working and focusing only on my own voice and the work being done.

I still put as much energy and intent into the cleaning as I normally did. This time however after I cleaned the house it felt cleansed. There was a peaceful sense in the house that was never there before. While I had always felt that some of the mental and emotional energetic imprints had been removed in the past, I felt that I actually got all of it out this week, or got more of it out than I have in the past.

The house is peaceful now. It is also physically clean. Both to me are important in keeping a healthy and happy home. There is a lot of stress and anxiety in my home. So for me to clean that energetic imprint is important for my mental health and my spiritual health as well. Now that my energy had returned from the cleaning of the house I think I still need to do one more thing.

The only thing I haven't done in my spiritual weekly cleaning is a through smudging. I've been cleaning with intent and its worked well. Though I think a smudging is going to be a part of my regular treatment. I may start breaking the cleansing up into a physical spiritual cleaning and an energetic one in the future. For now I feel that these weekly cleansing are a good way of me starting to include my spirituality into my day to day life.

[loona wynd]

One thing that I have always thought I could associate myself with is the concept of the sacred scribe. I absolulty love transcribing word for word sacred texts into my Grimoires. I love scribing the notes from my notebooks where I take notes (when reading a book) into my Grimoires. When I was studying in the Temple Tradition I loved the feeling I got as I copied by hand the Grimoire of that tradition as it was given to me. I felt an even further joy in my own Grimoire adding that information with my own reflections as a part of the practice.

I feel that one of my duties as a priestess is to write down all of my experiences and all of my knowledge. I believe that the role of the sacred scribe is still very much alive today. I also believe that there are a few ways I can work on and keep that role alive. Part of that is of course recording rituals I perform word by word and actions by actions to preserve the knowledge and experience. The other part I believe happens out of my blogging.

I believe that those called to publish their experiences and knowledge in articles and in books are performing the role of the Sacred Scribe. Part of the benefit to the work of the scribe was that written words were able to pass down knowledge to more people as literacy grew. Today by writing books and articles for newspapers and the like the sacred scribe is actually being continued. Scribes preserved knowledge. They also made the knowledge more publicly available.

This may be one reason why the Gods Hermes and Thoth once interested me and seemed to call to me. Then I also learned of a deity created from a combination of their worship in Egypt called Hermes Trismegistus or Hermes Thrice Great. A God of magic, wisdom, and mysteries also a Sacred scribe. Its interesting the two deities that were combined in worship to create Hermes Trismegistus.

As part of my daily practices I am going to spend some time working on scribing things to my BOS. I believe that it is part of my sacred calling. I also believe that my blogs and my writings are part of my calling. I have always been told that I should be a writer. perhaps now it is time to continue to persue this through the concept of being the sacred scribe.

This may even open up some psychic development channels like Channeling, Automatic Writing, Spirit Possession and Invocations, and much more. I'm just taking it day by day and working to develop my practice. So far daily prayer has been a good part of it as well as weekly cleanings. Now I just need to add in meditation practices and spell workings as my intuition guides me, I am adding in scribing things in my Grimoire both here and in my physical notebooks.

The work of developing ones spiritual paths and awareness's is never done.

[loona wynd]

So today I made a mistake. I was going to start crafting black salt today. I had enough materials thought why not. Then the smoke detectors went off like crazy. So now I have to hope that the stems and leaves can dry and not get moldy or mildew on them from being extinguished with water. I didn't have shoes on s it was really my only option. I thankfully had cheese cloth near by and I was able to drain out the water. I'm laughing at it now but at that moment I sort of freaked.

Though my inspiration for crafting something today hasn't been diminished. I'm commung up and an ideas for a protection salt that is not black salt. I already have the ingredients mixed and measures. Now I just need to grind them. I'm probably using my big batch grinder to get the work done. Once they are ground we'll see what the consistency is. I can then test out this new item. If I like how it works than I think I may have a new product for sale.

Part of the idea I have here is that I have seen memes on facebook and on Tumblr about pink salt and blue salt. It made me wonder if maybe I could make other salt based magical products. I am going to look into the pink and blue salts that I saw and do more research on them. Depending on what I read and what I find out I may have even more new products to sell. Its always important to keep growing as a witch and for me right now especially as a Business.

There are still so many crafts and activities I want to try. Right now I think focusing on incenses, powders, and salts as well as selling the herbs I used to craft those items is a good way to go. I am still learning but work from where I know. I am going to start exploring oils and medicinal tinctures shortly as well. I have a small tincture line now but I want it to develop grandly.

[loona wynd]

After I made my protection salt and spread it around my home I noticed just how many different notebooks I have in my ritual room. There was an entire steralite container just full of different notebooks. Most of them had nothing in them. Some of them did. So I spent the rest of the afternoon looking at the notebooks. I took out pages that were worthless or had nothing important written one them. In another pile I put notes from notebooks that actually need to be sifted through and written down into my Grimoire.

After I did that I actually set up my desk differently. I now have a book and a notebook for each book I am working through at the moment. I've always loved reading the books on my magical and spiritual practices. They have always filled me with joy and I have gained some information simply from reading them. However now I am learning that I really should start taking notes on what I read. I've realized now that by taking notes on what I read and writing down quests I can on a separate page of notes reflect on what I read and write down my own thoughts and concepts.

By taking accurate notes I also have a record of my sources and my information. I've noticed a trend of people sharing all kinds of knowledge and information and not being able to say where they got that information from. To me thats wrong. I am guilty of this in the past. However the past is the past. I can just work on my future and making sure that those who provide me with information if I am citing something they read they get proper credit where its due.

I have a lot of notes from my training in the Temple tradition to add to my personal book. Most of what I have to write down is information found in his books like theories on magic and the like. There are some activities I did with that training where I came up with planetary and color associations for my own use. So there is a lot of useful information for me to be adding to my book.

Every day I have a new magical experience. Every day I am working at developing my skill and my spiritual path. I feel that only I can do this work for me. Its hard for me to make large big changes at once. So I'm working slowly. I started with a prayer routine. Then I added in spiritual cleansing. Now I am going to be adding scribing to my Grimoire and maintaining my altars as well. Its a lot of work but its worth it in the end.

[loona wynd]

Today I took some time to actually look in my Grimoires and see just how much information I had in each one. It was actually a bit of a disappointment to find that really the only book that had a lot of information in it was my main personal book. Though the personal book was created to have a bit of all my experiences no matter which culture and religion I was working with I thought that my other books might have had something more in them.

So I decided that for the time being until I have done more Dragon magic rituals, More Norse style rituals and the like I will combine my experiences with them and my ritual information. I figure in the end I was going to have copies of the rituals in the individual paths and pantheons books but also in my own personal book as well that will hopefully form the basis of a tradition I will teach others.

I was surprised to find how many magazine articles I had kept years ago to add to my book. I have decided that I will keep the original articles in an articles section in my Grimoire. However I have also decided that as I learn best by scribing information from one form to another I am going to scribe the articles into my grimoire with my own hands. I'll have two copies of the information but one will be the original and one will be my copy.

I did find that my book is almost full. Scratch that. The book is full. At least uncomfortably full for a three ring binder. While there is technically room for more information I am going to probably be looking at dividing it into a book on theory and belief with another being rituals and experiences. For now I did reorganize things a bit. It will make things a bit easier now to find references for what I am looking for exactly.

The other day I found some of my actual day to day journals I kept. I know I wrote a lot in there about gods and sabbats and my beliefs. I just need to sort through and find some of those statements and put them into my book and make it a more cohesive document and representation of my spiritual growth and experiences. I also have a ton of notes from going through two specific books that also need to be transcribed into my book.

I do regret one thing in my path. About 10 years ago I went on a purging spree. I removed any and all of my practices from my first days in the craft. I did not like the way things had been developing for me spiritually and I wasn't really going any where it seemed. So my first book was destroyed as were some poems I wrote to the Gods and to my grandmother.

I realize now that it was really a foolish thing for me to do. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I was still really growing up and trying to find out who and where I belonged in this world. Now I sort of know where I belong as a witch. I'm also ok with the early spells I have done and the early rituals that I did. Now I just need to be who I am more often.

[loona wynd]

Today I finished filling out the application for my training in the Feri tradition. Now I just need to print it out and send it to my teacher. As I filled out my application I had to detail my spiritual practices and my past. I think I'll share it here with you all so you can better understand my evolution as well.

I have been studying and involved with witchcraft of some form since I was 13. For many years I was on my own. I read and studied basically any book on witchcraft I could get my hands on. At the time I was worshiping Dianna as my Goddess and Pan as my God. It was a freeing experience. It was a great way for me to start my exploration into my path and witchcraft.

When I was 19 I had a chance to be a part of a ritual with a local Gardnerian Coven. I was interested in possibly becoming a member of their group so I welcomed the experience. A few months later the group disbanded and they focused on their OTO studies and practices. I also later found out that specific group was associated with oath breakers which was not something I wanted to be associated with either. So it was for the best.

I still gained some valuable experience that day. I was a part of a circle cast by trained witches for the first time. I had a better idea of what their circles and temples felt like. It gave me a stronger foundation for my own circles and practices in ritual in my personal practices. At this point in time I decided to start seeking BTW initiation.

Because of my history and at the time having regular difficulties with sexual symbolism and actions in any form it was said I was not a proper person, but I might be one some day. I did start reading more about BTW and their practices and I saw some distinct differences in the practices of BTW than there were in the eclectic style I had been used to.

I adapted some of these practices to my own rituals. At the time though I also felt that Pan was looking for something else in worship. So I also started to look at and explore Hellenic reconstructionalist paganism. This didn't last long as at the time I could not commit to the level of academic study that a recon path required.

When I was in the hospital I created a daily ritual that would allow me to get the maximum amount of healing out of each day that I could. There wasn't much I could do at that time for my religious and spiritual practices but it was effective. I essentially had a double shower each day as a ritual. There was physical cleansing and spiritual cleansing. This was needed as the amount of mental and psychic garbage sent out and gathered in mental hospitals is stiflingly.

Around 2006 I started to look into practices of Nocturnal Paganism or practices that focused on the positive aspects of the darkness and darker Gods. How death and destruction are also very positive forces in the world that are needed and should be recognized. I realized that there was beauty in the darkness and that this darkness should be embraced.

These studies ultimately lead me to looking into Shamanism and Traditional witchcraft. Here I learned about Hedge witchcraft and astral travel. Some where in this period of time I attended a weekend long intensive workshop in the Shamanic Temple of witchcraft or the third degree of the Temple tradition lead by Christopher Penczak

From there I studied the works of Robin Artisson and other traditional witchcraft authors. This also lead me to want to study Germanic paganism. At around the same time I had a dream where the Germanic Gods were calling my name as I hid under a pile of furs. It was strange. They were calling Loki as well looking for him.

So I studied Germanic paganism for a while. This was also a home coming sensation. Here I found and was able to trance my ancestral lines. I found that my blood lines contain Germanic tribal blood. So in some ways connecting to this path was also connecting to my ancestral Gods and the Gods of my blood.

In 2009 I took a course on the Inner Temple of witchcraft but I was unable to continue the training. I didnt have the skills to deal with some of the emotional issues that were brought up as part of the training. I also was having a difficult time balancing the training with my college course load. So I had to leave. I am still a dedicant in the Temple tradition and will return to it at some point as I feel there are things there still for me to learn. Though I am being called to look else where.

Though this all one of the largest adaptions to my practice has been the inclusion of ancestral veneration and the working with my ancestors in magic. While I had always sort of prayed to and looked to my grandmother's spirit for guidance in tough situations its become something different now and has taken on much more importance.

Now my practice is some what of a mishmash of all those experiences. I have started to study Hoodoo as a magical and spiritual tradition. In some ways I am hoping the working with the saints and the archangels in Hoodoo will help me connect even more with my ancestors. My ancestors are French Canadian and are all Catholic. So by working a form of magic that works with the catholic spirits and has in some traditions influences of Catholicism I think I can connect to them and they will help me more.

I may continue Feri training with Christopher Angelo who is a local Feri initiate. He lives in Boston which is not unreasonably far for me to travel to train with him. He also seems to have an interest in the Hoodoo aspects or roots of feri which is something I am going to be exploring as well as my studies continue and evolve.

Hoodoo afterall is my current personal studu focus, and I do wish to train with and do the Lucky Mojo hoodoo course some time as well as Starr Casas's webinar classes on Hoodoo. Those are in the future. I may also seek training in a form of Shamanic healing to compliment my Reiki training.