Very depressed

[__Oracle__]

I have no idea what to do anymore. Everything seems to be getting worse. My husband has been so depressed that he will barley talk to me, let alone want to be around me. I feel like it is all my fault, maybe I'm doing something wrong ? I can't see why , I am a very loving and caring person . It just feels like a dark cloud hovering above our marriage. Is there anything I can do ? Maybe a cleansing spell ?

[Violet]

It can be difficult to know what action to take unless you know the source of your disconnect. Even if your husband can't or won't cooperate to resolve this situation, there are still ways you can find peace and serenity. Since you don't know the cause of the problem, I would first suggest divination, meditation or request for clarity about the situation.

[Heartsong]

I'm sorry to hear things are getting tougher for you, Oracle.

A good cleansing of your aura may help you feel a bit better, and a thorough cleansing of your home of any negative energy will probably also freshen the air, so to speak. I know this may seem like the obvious route, but have you told your husband what's on your mind? I realize that if communication between you isn't very open right now that expressing your concerns may feel too painful to talk about, but that's better than letting it fester.

You've got lots of support here, so please bend our ears if you need to! Sending you love and light!

[Xiao Rong]

I'm so sorry about that, Oracle. Sometimes people get really down and depressed, and it's not your fault. I think a cleansing spell might be a good idea, or maybe something to facilitate communication between you two?

[__Oracle__]

Thanks everyone. I am starting to feel a little better. I tried to talk to him but he didn't really want to talk , I think I may just have to give him space. I will be cleansing my aura tonight, meditate and try to find a good cleansing ritual to perform .

[Xiao Rong]

You know, it's always possible (especially if there wasn't a major event that caused your husband to get super down on himself) that it's lack of sunlight or Seasonal Affective Disorder. When did it start?

[__Oracle__]

Hes getting out of the army , and he doesn't have any idea what he is going to do. We cant even find our own place yet. We have been staying at me in laws.

[Alura Noel]

Hes getting out of the army , and he doesn't have any idea what he is going to do. We cant even find our own place yet. We have been staying at me in laws.

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling your best. My dad was in the Air force 20+ years and when he got out of it, he was pretty depressed. And to top that off, it took him a year to find a job that he felt was a good fit for him.

He may be feeling restless or worried because he doesn't know what to do. His sense of security (job, home) is changing and unsure. He may even feel like he's letting you down because he's not providing (It's one of those macho man things men are conditioned with). That can take a toll...

He may not be ready to talk about it with you but you could offer your help anyways. Even it's offering to type resumes (and you play secretary) or look for some places to live in your price range and presenting it to him. Simple stuff where you offer help but aren't pressuring him to talk.

[North Star]

The first thought that came into my mind was maybe the Venus retrograde that has been going on could be a factor (Dec 21st to Jan 31st). It could be making the communication issue tougher for you guys.

Venus turns direct on Friday, which is also the best day to work on love matters. Maybe try a sweeting spell for your marriage. It will be a very powerful day for love with this event, and also a new moon. Lots of possibilities to put some good energy into your relationship on this day.

The new moon is a perfect time for a good cleansing also.

Blessings to you both.

[__Oracle__]

Hes getting out of the army , and he doesn't have any idea what he is going to do. We cant even find our own place yet. We have been staying at me in laws.

Hey there, I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling your best. My dad was in the Air force 20+ years and when he got out of it, he was pretty depressed. And to top that off, it took him a year to find a job that he felt was a good fit for him.

He may be feeling restless or worried because he doesn't know what to do. His sense of security (job, home) is changing and unsure. He may even feel like he's letting you down because he's not providing (It's one of those macho man things men are conditioned with). That can take a toll...

He may not be ready to talk about it with you but you could offer your help anyways. Even it's offering to type resumes (and you play secretary) or look for some places to live in your price range and presenting it to him. Simple stuff where you offer help but aren't pressuring him to talk.

Right now I am giving him some space. I seem to be the only person he is annoyed to be around . He is probably upset because he thought everything would fall into place when we came home. He has been in the army for the last 4 years it has been the only job he has ever had.

[__Oracle__]

The first thought that came into my mind was maybe the Venus retrograde that has been going on could be a factor (Dec 21st to Jan 31st). It could be making the communication issue tougher for you guys.

Venus turns direct on Friday, which is also the best day to work on love matters. Maybe try a sweeting spell for your marriage. It will be a very powerful day for love with this event, and also a new moon. Lots of possibilities to put some good energy into your relationship on this day.

The new moon is a perfect time for a good cleansing also.

Blessings to you both.

Thank you. I read some where ( I believe it was my horoscope) to hold my tongue until the 31rst and that things would turn around then and good news would happen. I am very optimistic

[Holdasown]

You could contact your local American Legion there will be men there who have been through this and could help. They not only loose their job but many friends since people he has worked with are staying in or going home. Also the VA may have services or groups for not only depression but vocational services. He can join the Legion now even.

[Xiao Rong]

Oops, I take back my comment about not having a cause; that was a silly suggestion. Transitioning from the military to civilian life is insanely tough. I'm sorry that he's taking it out on you, when you've been so loving and caring. I understand for a lot people it's easier to take out their frustrations on their loved ones because they feel like it's "safe" to do that, but it takes a huge toll on the loved ones who just want to be supportive. Maybe there are ways to redirect his frustration so that you're not bearing the brunt of it? And I also second Holdasown's suggestion about resources. Sorry I don't have more to offer, but I hope that things change for you soon, like your horoscope said!

[Holdasown]

It will seem like he's most upset with you but your probably the one he's honest with. You should do what you can to be positive and to clean the negative energy but he will have to make the choice to try and move on. I have a site for you: http://www.militaryonesource.mil/phases-retiring. It's all about transiting for military personnel and services to help. He may not think it's a common problem and there is help. I hope it gets worked out, you both have made it through him serving.

[Firebird]

Hi Oracle...I'm so sorry this is troubling you, I hope you will be able to spend some time focusing on yourself. If you get in a slump you will be of no help to anyone.
Ummm, I wanted to ask if he has seen action...meaning, has he been behind the lines and seen or been in battle? If so, I would say he may be falling into PTSD.
BB, Firebird