Empathy and Soul... Borrowing?

[Autumnal Eclipse]

So, I've spent enough time here to realize that this community is helpful, kind, and just generally interested in out-of-the-ordinary experiences and lifestyles. I come to you now, with a story and a few questions, for those inclined to read.

So, ever since I was very little, I've had a very strong sense of empathy. I can feel other's emotions very vividly, especially if I make physical contact with that person, such as a hug or handshake. However, even just being around someone, their emotion "aura" if you will, "seeps" into me, and I can read and understand them very well. For example, I was at my girlfriend's mother's family gathering, and even though I had not met most of the people, I could almost immediately tell who was strong willed and independent, who was actually suffering even though doing a great job of covering it up, and who was creative... And who wasn't. On our ride home, I started telling my gf about what I sensed, and she was blown away seeing as I was hitting the nail on the head every single time. I'm very good at emotions, and I can tell when someone is lying or attracted to someone in the room. At any rate, that's my empathy story. My question is, what can I do that is beneficial with this information?


Now on to something a little more... Let's say "far-fetched". If you want to disregard this following part of the post, feel free, and if I'm doing something wrong, I want you to point it out. Okay, so, in middle school, I started playing with my "powers" and my ability to raise energy, and use it to produce needed change. In short, I was practicing magic without even knowing it, and I got really into Reiki energy and different kinds of psychokinesis at this time. I still use Reiki on a regular basis actually. Anyway, I soon became able to, if I focused, see "souls." I put a quotation around this, because I will describe it to you, and you can help me decide exactly what I'm doing.

I see, in everyone's chest, a little ball of energy, usually burning in color, with another smaller sphere within, glowing intensely. They are oh so beautiful, my words cannot describe the actual beauty I can see. I thought maybe I was able to borrow other people's souls. At any rate, I soon began to "collect" these from people by making physical contact with them, I could take them as my own, and use them, in power raising and energy work. Eventually, I started to think that I should collect them. So I have. Over the years I've amassed hundreds (or maybe thousands) of "souls" simply by touching others, either through handshakes, hugs, or even accidental touch. My brain automatically goes off when I touch someone new, alerting that I should grab that little ball of energy before this "tethering" effect goes away. Am I doing something wrong? Is all of this in my head?

I started thinking about this more intensely once I joined this forum, that perhaps I'm inhibiting people from... I don't know, something. Also... One of the "souls" I own is of someone who has passed away, and now his glows golden, and seems far more powerful than the rest... I feel like I should protect these balls of energy and keep them from harm though... I hope this doesn't sound too much out of a teen fiction/fantasy book, and if it does, I'll just write this off and be on my way. I'm shaking a little, and I'm really nervous, I've only told a selected few people, and telling you this really makes me anxious... Thank you for taking the time to read, and if anyone has any explanation at all, I'd love to hear it. Thank you for your time.

Autumnal Eclipse

[Altairtigris]

I can't advise on the second part of your post, unless, is it a way of keeping your energy built up? You would be spiritually exhausted surely without some kind of resource to refill the pool so to speak.

The first part of your post, I have a question. I'm slightly emphatic, nowhere near in your league. But if I'm in a busy place I can 'hear' peoples feelings. The strongest ones seem to be the ones that are angry or deeply upset. I feel them so much they cause me to have panic attacks and for the rest of the day I feel drained and exhausted. So my question is how do you control it? How do you keep them out when you're trying to go about your daily business in a busy place?

Blessed be

[Altairtigris]

I meant to add, if you feel that you are suppose to protect these souls, then maybe you are. Do they feel like complete souls or are they just snippets of souls? Are the people you borrow these from fine afterwards, maybe they are giving them to you? Maybe if you are a protector/ keeper then when they glow brightly because someone has passed on it's a sign for you to send them where they need to go? I'm sorry, I'm trying to be helpful, but I really don't know and am probably not helping by throwing up more questions.

Blessed be

[Autumnal Eclipse]

I'm slightly emphatic, nowhere near in your league. But if I'm in a busy place I can 'hear' peoples feelings. The strongest ones seem to be the ones that are angry or deeply upset. I feel them so much they cause me to have panic attacks and for the rest of the day I feel drained and exhausted. So my question is how do you control it? How do you keep them out when you're trying to go about your daily business in a busy place?

Well, I don't. I struggle and suffer from frequent anxiety attacks and feel exhausted too. I just try to push it out, and, as I'm sure you're aware, it isn't easy at all...

I meant to add, if you feel that you are suppose to protect these souls, then maybe you are. Do they feel like complete souls or are they just snippets of souls? Are the people you borrow these from fine afterwards, maybe they are giving them to you? Maybe if you are a protector/ keeper then when they glow brightly because someone has passed on it's a sign for you to send them where they need to go? I'm sorry, I'm trying to be helpful, but I really don't know and am probably not helping by throwing up more questions.

No, anything will help and add toward the discussion. And I'm not entirely sure... I just feel safe and also important when I keep and protect them.

[Lillady]

Seeing its more or less a ball of energy, my opinion is to not "borrow" it. That may be there with that person for a reason and if you take it they may lose something. Not sure what they would lose but just thinking after reading this it may need to be left alone if it is part of that person's soul, power etc. I hope you understand my concept on this. It doesn't seem odd to me at all, the experiences you have so please dont feel nervous. We are here to help one another. Blessed Be.

[Jonjonsalinas_]

Hi AE,
I myself am clairvoyant and I have also seen these balls of energy in people chest! It actually astounds and excites me a little that I am not the only one! personally, I seen that these balls of energy are the life force of a person, sort of like their "pool of energy". As for the inner ball of light, I have found this to be the persons literal soul.

As for advice, I would recommend to not do this. Taking a person's soul can also take away memories and experiences from their past lives which effect them in this life. However this is just my personal advice from my own experiences, I recommend meditating on it and maybe even asking the Goddess?

Bright blessing!

[Autumnal Eclipse]

Thank you for your opinions, and help, Jonjonsalinas_ and Lillady. I will try meditating on it, and possibly trying to stop. It's so hard though, my body kind of automatically reacts whenever someone touches me. I want to protect them. At any rate, I shall meditate on the situation and see what I can come up with. Thanks again.

[hayal]

Hi autumnal E Maybe u r a vampire?? Thats what i thought when i read ur post. Maybe im mistaken i dont know but ill agree with all the guys. Its not good to steal/collect/burrow someones energy/soul.surely meditation will help u control the urge. I hope u can find a way through this it must b exhausting...

Love & light
Hyl.

[dreadedpsychopomp]

I know what you're referring to since I've been aware of mine for almost a decade and hold it as something sacred. I consider it my heart, or my core. I advise very strongly against tapping into other people's. It sounds to me, with the combination of that and your empathy, that you have vampiric traits. If you want to learn to control yourself, one book I recommend is The Psychic Vampire Codex by Michelle Belanger. There are others as well but I'm unfamiliar with them so hopefully others can point you in the right direction. I hope I've helped you and that you figure this out.