Ritual for Samhain

[LonelyWolf17]

So Samhain is coming up, and I remembered that one of the things you can do on Samhain is honor your ancestors. Well I've been coming across all these Honor-Your-Ancestors rituals, articles describing Samhain, and stuff like that. It's the first holiday I've wanted to participate in since I started studying wicca about five months ago, and I was wondering if, alongside honoring ancestors, you could honor friends through the same rituals as well? I have a friend who died in a crash last year, but I'm not very original when it comes to thinking up my own rituals. So I was going to try using some of the ones I've read, but they're all focused on just ancestors and I haven't seen anything about honoring friends as well. Help?

[Xiao Rong]

Actually, I recently created this ritual for my friend, who passed away a few months ago. To put this in context, my family is Chinese-American, and some of my family members do practice ancestor worship. One thing we do is burn offerings for our ancestors (the idea being the smoke reaches them in the afterlife). You can burn anything from fake paper money to fake paper cell phones, fake paper houses, fake paper cars, etc. When I made this ritual, I wanted to use this particular tradition, but I didn't want to burn fake money because I feel like it's too materialistic. I also don't personally believe in an afterlife or that smoke transmits possessions or anything, so I adapted this ritual for my friend and to honor her.

A Ritual for a Friend's Passing

To prepare:

On a blank sheet of paper, write a letter to your friend. Write about how you miss her, your fond memories, anything you want. Fold it into an origami flower (http://www.origami-instructions.com/origami-lily.html is the one I used)

On the night of the new moon, which represents endings but also new beginnings, bring with you:

- A candle
- A knife or athame
- The letter folded into a flower
- Food as an offering (if you like)

Cast the circle widdershins. To the west, say:

As the sun rises,
So our friend has left us.
The water of our tears like the salt water of the sea, and
like the water of our mother's womb, blesses this circle.

To the south, say:

As life is a day,
So our friend has passed into the night.
The fire of our life, the memories and courage, the
Strength given to us by our friend blesses this circle.

To the east, say:

As all that falls shall rise again,
So our friend will be reborn.
The air we breathe, this treasure of our life, the
Compassionate caring we give each other blesses this circle.

To the north, say,

As the earth forms us,
So our friend will return to the earth.
Our Mother feeds and clothes us. She gives us everything and
In the end she takes our bodies back.
And Earth blesses this circle.

Now in the sacred circle, light the candle, speak to your friend openly about your grief, memories, etc. Now burn the paper flower until there's nothing left. Leave the food if you have it.

To finish, thank the elements and dismiss the circle.

---

(I think it's nice to perform this ritual somewhere significant to you or your friend.)

I can tell you that it really worked for me. I was really in a mess when my friend passed away, but then I performed this ritual for her to remember her. It helped me make sense of my feelings and calm them down. I still miss her and mourn her, but I think it honors her memory well.

Hope this helps; blessed be.

[Xiao Rong]

Also I didn't write the chants for when you cast the circle; I don't remember where I found it but I thought they were very profound so I adopted them. If anyone knows the original source and could point them to me, that'd be very welcome.

[LonelyWolf17]

What a unique ritual. Thank you very much! And my sympathies to you.

Blessed Be,
LonelyWolf

[Starwitch]

This is a beautiful ritual Xiao. I really appreciate you letting me share it on my site. I'm sure a lot of visitors are going to find this helpful.

[Xiao Rong]

No problem! I can't seem to find it on the EUTM website; can you post the link? Thanks!