leaving on your own terms

[luckimmortal]

This is not a 'my life sucks I want to kill myself' thing. This is more a concern for the future when my life is better.
Ive always had suicidal thoughts since i can remember, My life has always been rocky and ive always wanted to give up but havent done it.

Now, Ive done something terrible and may have a bad karma coming. I also have alot of good karma in the futre too. things ive always wanted like a good job a family and good friends. One side of me is trying to numb it out and forget it or forgive myself and another will never forget. I could accept the bad karma and continue on with my destiny, but it would be with a person who will always remind me (by just being there) of what I did.

I believe theyve forgiven me but it doesnt mean anything, basically nothing means anything anymore, no good karma or bad karma means anything anymore. My lifes ok right now, but things will get alot better, and this is when i want to end it. But i dont know if before or after the bad karma.. It can be seen as very weak heart/minded to give up, especially when you have a destiny to fufill. but Ive been called that my whole life so... I know it would hurt alot of people, and in some way it could look like ive let people win, but in another way i see it being ok that ive proved people right about me.. if that makes sense... well. what about future suicide, when things are going good. but you dont deserve to live for something. and if you do, its with someone you have to live with and always remember. and that person you have to live with no "end a relationship" spell will work on and they antagonize you daily.

[JBRaven]

WHo are you to judge yourself? You do not know what would have happen if you would not have done the things you did? Would someone who does not care done the same thing and tear the victim up more. You are not evil or bad, your karma will come and you will survive it.

This leads me to want to know what you have done so" wrong" you can't forgive yourself. I have a close friend, we will call him 7, who thinks he has done the unforgivable and we have talked about it in length. He never gets my point because he is not ready to forgive himself. He will never be able to breathe without regret because he is depressed and refuse to see his self-worth.

[luckimmortal]

WHo are you to judge yourself? You do not know what would have happen if you would not have done the things you did? Would someone who does not care done the same thing and tear the victim up more. You are not evil or bad, your karma will come and you will survive it.

7.

This leads me to want to know what you have done so" wrong" you can't forgive yourself. I have a close friend, we will call him 7, who thinks he has done the unforgivable and we have talked about it in length. He never gets my point because he is not ready to forgive himself. He will never be able to breathe without regret because he is depressed and refuse to see his self-worth.

11.

[JBRaven]

I don't understand 7. 11.