I think I'm gonna kill myself...

[Greek_Male_Witch]

Something terrible happened, that I don't want to discuss here in public and I think I'm gonna kill myself guys, I mean, I thinking about this for weeks, my life is pure black, magic gives me a glimpse of luck and then life comes to make it all balanced with a ton of bad luck on me again, since always I've been unlucky, I have accept the terms that I'm unlucky and that some people come to this life and they leave early, why should I stick around? for those that I love? I love them but I think they are better without me on the photo, you know? its not the specific thing that happened that makes me wanna do this, but this little thing was the top, the cherry on the cake, I think I can't take this anymore guys, any comments? (this is not a good-bye post so please don't freak out, I just discussing.... I haven't decided when or if, or how I'm going to do this)

[Hexima]

hi sweety,

don't kill ur self please!! ur like a family memeber to us. we love and adore u. i know it's a dark time for u and i know the feeling, i just came back from the nut hut. the nut house with sevre depression. but when i came back i feel much better. hugs ::hug::

[Greek_Male_Witch]

Thanks for the kind words but its that I can't take it anymore, I struggle for a long time to finally leave the dark behind me (by dark I mean the difficulties and bad luck) but all I get is getting stuck in more difficult situations, I know life haves those difficulties but I just can't take it

[Airlight]

Death is not the answer for problems you are having. Think of the family and friends you would leave behind and how they would feel..Life is a struggle, it only makes you much stronger. You aren't unlucky, you just haven't found a way to make yourself feel that you are lucky. Everyone is lucky, beautiful, and great people, they just need to see it.

[Greek_Male_Witch]

Imagine this my friend, imagine being on a deep deep sea, you try to swim to the surface, but always something goes wrong, you try to swim faster and the surface still is a long way to be reached, thats how I feel, why should I keep swimming? the people I will leave back if I do this? well I care about my family but its over me, I have not the strenght anymore to fight, as about friends, I have only one friend here, and he will be sad but he will get over it I think...

[Airlight]

I've been there...and done that sadly..many times. It is not the answer, great things will come along, they always do especially to those who are in deep pain and in deep depression. Keeping your head above the water is what a lot do everyday, don't drown and don't give up. Life can only get better.

[Greek_Male_Witch]

When? sorry for being too stubborn on this, but my life seems that only gets worse...I mean if you could see my life you would understand why I say all those stuff...

[Airlight]

Whenever you stop looking for something to try and make it better, when you start to love and believe in yourself, you must love and believe yourself before other things can happen. Be a survivor not a victim.

[Y0m]

I love you! i hope you decide to keep swimming
the sun will rise and you will see the truth.

much much love,
Y0m

[daughter_of_the_moonlight]

Sort yourself out.
If you're a witch, you're part of something tiny & amazing- rearrange the energy around you.
Forget about luck- magick isn't about granting wishes, it is YOU bending the actual energy around you so strongly that differences happen.
You're also wallowing (I do it too sometimes & need someone to bitch slap me) so pull it togther.
Cast the spell that I wrote for that other guy (a few posts down) and start changing your shit ok.

[reikihealer83]

Greek_Witch

Suicide is never the answer to the problems of life. I am speaking from experience. When I was struggling with my sexual identity issues, my biological mother bailed on me (for different reasons) and I was doing horrible in school and in life. I had a knife to my wrists one day before my parents came home and honestly wanted to slit my wrists. The one thing that got me over that dark time was when the phone rang and somehow my best friend knew I was about to do something and said "put the knife down I love you". This made me stop and wonder how much more I had to give to this world. Look at the wonderfulness you have within you and remember the dark as well. See yourself putting the light before you and stepping into it. If you can see the light run up to meet it. Just remember you are an amazing person and know we would all miss you here. *hugs*

[Solitude]

Hi

I don't know you in a 'virtual' sense but speaking from personal experience as a person who has had a family member kill themselves seriously don't do it. A cousin of mine committed suicide years ago by taking himself to a forest and hanging himself. The hurt it left behind is so immense, the constant thinking what ifs etc....it might seem like the solution to how you are feeling right now but at what cost? At the happiness or sense of well being of other people for the rest of their lives.

Think how much you can gain from feeling this way, turn it into a positive, turn this negative feeling about yourself and how you want to handle it into a positive way of thinking, if you can get through this you can get through ANYTHING, you will be a stronger person emotionally, channel it in other ways it can be done.

I can't advise you as others can regarding the magickal aspect of things because I don't have any knowledge of it, but I can advise you as one person to another. Just as you would find this forum for guidance with spiritual matters there is help out there for how you are feeling now, seek it out and take it.

[WitchyLady506]

Sometimes we fight the current and think we're drowning, but if we just quit fighting, it will take us to the surface to see the sun again.

I've been where you are and have felt the same way. Everything seemed against me and I did everything I could to change what I could(though stuff like my closest family dying, my husband cheating on me, friends abandoning me, you can't really change). I one day gave up and decided to go out one last time before ending it got a reminder that what I was going through would only make me better appreciate my life later, and that instead of trying to change everything, I just needed to run with it. I'm glad to say I did cause I've never been happier. I've got some of my life figured out. I know where I'm going. I still have a long way to get where I want to be, but I know now that the whole time the events that happened where actually taking me towards that destination.

So stop trying to change your luck, just look at what's around you, grasp on to who you can and look at what's going on around you, cause sometimes fate saves us from ourselves and what we think is bad luck winds up being better than what we could have ever wished for.

[JBRaven]

Greek Witch, we are a very open people here, if you want to confide in just one of us maybe we can help you. All of us Mods are open to pms. Maybe it would help if you could get some of these thing off your chest to a third party. I know that most of us here on EUTM have had troubled lives ( I being one of them). There are people here that can relate.

[Y0m]

I just had a huge realization... greak witch if you are concidering killing yourself why dont you instead give up your attachments to the world around you dramaticly..

one who is able to take his/her life should be able to undergo the huge challenge of transcendece ... renounce yourself from normal life and become one who is detached completly... you could go as far as becoming a hermit and meditating until you realize the true cause of suffering. the feeling could be a major gift my friend.

it is up to you.

much love,
Y0m