I think my ex's girlfriend cast a spell on me

[[AmberRose13]]

I am almost positive that my ex's girlfriend has put a spell on me.
I feel rediculous saying that because I know nothing about this person, and just found out about her last Sunday.
I have been a witch for a long time now, and I know in my gut that something is wrong.

Over the last two weeks my ex has almost got me to sign partial custody to him (something I'd never do), and then introduced my two year old son to her when I didn't know she existed.
My son told me about her, and was really upset by her.
I confronted him, he said he has been dating her off and on for six months. Every few days he'd talk to me, and say things that sounded like he wanted us back, and hug me and kiss me on the forehead. The next weekend he'd tell me its over and I need to move on... hmmmm.
Then, I woke up one night for no reason at all, not being in love with him, happy that he'd moved on, and thinking "would it be so bad if he has full custody of our son?". It would. our son is disabled, and my ex has told me he wants to stop all of his services like Phys. Therapy and so on.

Then, I found out this Friday that not only is he dating this person, but he is living with her (not his parents, like he told the judge and me), had introduced our son months ago without telling me, and if I had signed the papers, would have moved my son in with them without informing me.
I've started working with the WCS to help me break away from his control and manipulation issues. I should be putting a restraining order on him for verbally threatening me once, verbally abusing me, and trying to force me into letting him have our child.

I told him yesterday that he can no longer see our son because of the above plus all of the lying. I'd never know where my son is if he had him.

About 20 min ago, I woke up, yet again, with a very happy feeling of not loving my ex anymore, wanting to support him and his girlfriend, and thinking "Sunday is my sons usual day to see his dad, maybe I should let him!"
Anyone know how to stop this?

- AmberRose

[[AmberRose13]]

OMG! Just thought of something!
For the last few months I kept getting the queen of hearts reversed in my tarot. I kept thinking I was reading it wrong, because I don't know any scorpio females, and thought possibly the card meant me. I am seperated/ fear the seperation, and was upset about it, but not in the way the cards described. And I am a full blown Saggitarius... there's no way that card was me.
I stopped doing my tarot for a while because I thought my energy was off, and I needed a break.
And in January, I kept having dreams about my ex being controlled by someone, and giving in. This was a female who dyes her hair a lot, and was named Nicole, or Nikki. Just found out that his girlfriend is named Nikki.

This is all making sense....

- Amberrose

[juliaki]

It sounds almost like every single custody case I've heard of where there's still the "messy breakup" bit going on.

No magick involved...just typical human behavior.

[[AmberRose13]]

It sounds almost like every single custody case I've heard of where there's still the "messy breakup" bit going on.

No magick involved...just typical human behavior.

This female absolutely did a spell to make me not love my ex, be supportive of them, and to give them custody. I have a very good sense of this sort of thing.
There is no doubt in my mind that this accured. I have another post in the"Tragedy" section from a while back that explains the situation more.
Anyone who knows me knows that my "feelings" of wanting to hand my disabled son over to an ex who left me, and be happy about it is just not me.
She has attempted this a few times, I feel.
Anyways, I was suggested to try the breaking the ties that bind spell from JCrowfeet (thanks Geri for the suggestion!)
I'm going to gather supplys and attempt it at 4:00pm.
As always, I will post the results.

- Amberrose

[juliaki]

I think you're too close to the situation to be objective. I think you're going to end up harming yourself, your son, and anyone else who is involved in it.

Breakups are messy. If you don't want to hand over full custody, don't. Get a lawyer and deal with it through legal channels. Get a paternity test. (Even if you're 100% sure it's his kid, trust me... you'll want to have papers to help vet your claim later on.) Get a psychologist to assist you with the emotional challenges of the breakup. Trying to make someone you don't know into your boogeyman will simply create more problems long-term for you and your son.

Having been through an incredibly messy divorce way back when, I can say with all certainty that you go through the entire range of emotions from "Gee, I'll just let him have whatever he wants, cut my ties, and be done with this whole nightmare so I can move on and have a happy life" to "I'd rather stick a knife in his chest and go to prison than let him have even a pair of dirty socks of his" to "I love him and I want to get back with him" to "I just want him to be happy and find someone so he will leave me alone."

But hey, if you want to go ahead and do a spell to counter someone who hasn't done magick against you and then take the consequences therein, that's your choice as well. I hope it works out for your son.

[juliaki]

Something to read to help better understand what's going on....

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/copi ... fgrief.htm

[[AmberRose13]]

You do not need to talk/write to me like I am a child.
If you don't have anything helpful to say, don't.
I would never jump into using spells without reason.
I've already done everything else I've needed to.

Every day I feel less and less welcome at this board.
There are too many cliques, and too many people who for some reason believe that they are the only real wiccans. Anyone else who comes here searching for advice gets told that they obviously don't know what they are doing. Or called a "Fluff Bunnie".
I keep toying with the idea of leaving this board, but get drawn back because there are some truely wonderful, helpful, supportive people. And this was/sometimes is the best wiccan/ witchcraft msg board online today.

I never said I was cursed. I don't believe in it. But I do know when someone is messing with my free will. Both attempts I woke up half way through, felt funny and had those thoughts I explained before. Then I snap out of it.

I also am not looking to USE a curse. I was looking for protection against this person, and possibly a way to undo whatever might have stuck.

Anyways, I hope that there are some people out there with some helpful suggestions.

- Amberrose

[juliaki]

Where did I say that you had said you thought you were cursed?

You said that you felt you were under the influence of magick... I disagree and see that there's nothing at all unusual with your situation.

I do know that there are times when, if you use a protection spell and the only thing that has been targeting you is your own fears and insecurities, the protection spell sees you as the harm and attacks you and those close to you. I'd hate to see you or your son hurt because you were trying to protect from something that doesn't exist. I would think that you care enough about you and your son to at least consider that possibility before you took action that might harm him.

I strongly suggest counseling to help you get through the pent-up emotions that you're going through. It's a huge help that I would recommend for anyone going through a rough breakup, especially one who is a victim of domestic violence (as you have stated is the case for you).

From the emotional stages of divorce link that I provided, can you look yourself in the mirror and read your own posts back to yourself and say that this does not describe you:

You can’t seem to settle your feelings and thoughts. You swing from being hopeful to feeling utter despair. During this stage, you will try to intellectualize what has happened. If you can only understand what is going on then the pain will go away and all will make sense again.

You will tell yourself stories to try to make sense of it and your imagination will run wild.

Just because you don't like an honest opinion based on someone who has been there before and is trying to help you through that similar situation doesn't make it unhelpful...

[[AmberRose13]]

You will tell yourself stories to try to make sense of it and your imagination will run wild.
[/quote]
No, this does not describe me. I am in therapy and have been coached through this already. My emotions do not swing back and forth. I am a very logical person, and when the logic doesn't fit (which it doesn't here) then you must look at it from another angle.

- Amberrose

[juliaki]

Uh huh.

So, your therapist agrees with you that this woman you don't know has decided to cast a spell on you?

If your emotions weren't swinging back and forth, why are you worried about emotional changes that seem to come out of no where?

When I was going through my divorce, I ended up with a strong phase of denial as well. I wish you much joy and blessing overcoming yours.

[MVTirado]

Ouch! Ummm... ok then.

I guess my first question would be whether you've had outside divination on this matter. There's nothing wrong with setting up protection, and doing the necessary cleansing just as to be on the safe side. I didn't notice anyone mention hexing someone else in retaliation, so I'm a little confused by the... never mind.

Anywho, I'm not wiccan, but I just had a similar situation come up, which started some months back. There was a man coming up in my cards, no clue who he was AT ALL... etc. etc. etc. Some time after I found things on my property, I found out who he was. So, I know how it can be.

I know that people have different beliefs, but I'm personally not of the opinion that protection can come back and have a monkey's paw effect. However, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions.

This is a doll spell which might be of some interest to you. Similar to the way mirror boxes can work to send someone's magic back to them, you can also make a doll to absorb any attacks on you. I'm not sure of the origin, but this one I picked up just recently by way of hoodoo.

You're basically making a cloth doll of yourself, dressed in some of your worn unwashed clothes. The doll should contain personal concerns of yours (hair, nail clips, etc) from the area of your body you took them from. (Toe nail clippings should go in the foot of the doll, for example.) This should be an herb stuffed doll, and you might want to go with something like hyssop for example. And, you should also give your doll a lodestone heart, inside the doll to attract those negative things to the doll instead of you.

After you've constructed your doll you want to "baptize" it to give it life, so to speak. And you want to instruct the doll in what it is to do, what it's purpose is... that it's to take the "hit" for you.

And when you're all done, you want to store it some where out of the way, where it won't be disturbed. (like on the back of a shelf in your closet)

The source of this spell also suggested that you should take the lodestone out a few times a year and clean it.

Best wishes!

**edited to add**

To baptize your doll, you can sprinkle it with holy water or blessed water, and give it its name. I'm sure there are also sorts of ways to do it, which vary according to tradition, but as I'm not sure how familiar you (or anyone else who reads this) would be with dolls, I just wanted to be clear that you're not dunking the dolly in a river.

[[AmberRose13]]

Uh huh.

So, your therapist agrees with you that this woman you don't know has decided to cast a spell on you?

If your emotions weren't swinging back and forth, why are you worried about emotional changes that seem to come out of no where?

When I was going through my divorce, I ended up with a strong phase of denial as well. I wish you much joy and blessing overcoming yours.

Thats rude. Just because you say you "Wish me much joy and blessing" doesn't mean that the karma from your attitude isn't going to bite you in the ass.
I don't know why you have a "more pagan than thou" attitude, but its not ok.

Also, I guess there was some confusion. Nobody said that I was being cursed. I just through it out there, because usually when someone says that there has been a spell put on them, they get mocked because "Curses" are usually fake. I said I was pretty sure someone was messing with my free will. Not cursed.

I live in a wonderful town where you cannot step foot downtown without meeting someone who is pagan, wiccan, a tarot reader, a healer, etc. Everybody is so supportive of each other in the community. You know the saying "It takes a village to raise a child"?
Thats my town.

So, yes, my therapist does agree with me. I am a sensible person. I would only have asked this if I had gone through all other options.

I confronted my ex (After I had saged my house, and done some protection spells) and after a very long argument, he admitted to me that his girlfriend had had a friend of hers try to manipulate the situation in his favor.

She tried one more time, but it was blocked, and since then, it hasn't happened.

After this incident here in the forum, I have decided that I have just outgrown it.
I feel that people do not respect each other, and instead of trying to help, they just hurt.
For those of you who are worried about Karma: just because you say something horrible or offensive and then follow it with "Blessed Be" or the above that Juliaki posted, does not mean that you are absolved of your negativity.

Thank you MVTirado for your advice, it was very helpful. I am part of an advanced Tarot community, so I have done some divination on the issue.

I guess this is kind of my "resignation" post for this forum.

I am going to talk to my Tarot group about starting a forum. If you are interested in any information then feel free to send me an e-mail.
The forum will probably end up being pretty exclusive, but the main Tarot teacher is wonderful, and if you are interested, you can learn so much from her.
Eventually I am going to start doing some readings over the internet. My son in having heart surgery sometime soon. Since I will be at home caring for him, I will have some time to do more readings, and a little pocket money doesn't hurt
Again, if interested, feel free to e-mail me. I will get back to you all whenever I have more information.

"I wish you much joy and blessing overcoming yours"

- AmberRose

[MVTirado]

I would hate to see you go just because of the poster above. There are always going to be people who don't understand because of their own personal experiences/beliefs or lack thereof.

I'm not sure about the various technical terms of "cursing" "hexing" and all that stuff, but yes, people do cast negative spells. Others don't have to believe in it to make it real. And just because you (in general) don't believe in it doesn't mean another is wrong for having their own beliefs, understanding, or experiences.

I've had negative spell work sent in my direction before. It's harder to detect when you do your own divination (especially if you're not expecting it), but it does come up. Likewise, I have successfully played the role of karma on my own. So, like I said... just because you don't think someone had negative or manipulative spell work done on them does not mean it didn't happen or that it's not possible.

I sat idly by, in denial, while my ex collected my personal concerns... right in front of me too. And I learned a valuable lesson about protection as well. I also changed my mind about retaliation and reversals in the process too. No one has to like that, agree with that, or accept that... but it is what it is, and we should all be old enough to at least respect that.

Yes, stress can cause varying emotions, but spell work can as well. And if you've never been on the receiving end of someone's manipulative practices, you can't really speak on that one from experience to dismiss another's problems so easily.

I didn't want to stick my nose in the middle of this, but I think it's kind of sad that adults have to behave in a way that is unnecessarily inconsiderate and belittling to others... especially to the point of making them this uncomfortable.

And AmberRose, I have to agree with you on the matter of "karma." Although I don't follow the laws of karma as set forth by wicca and such, "doing unto others" extends into life and interaction far beyond spell work.