Those you left behind...

[AlyssaImagine]

I don`t believe this fits anywhere else. Maybe it does, and I`m not seeing it, but what about support for those they left behind?

Support for those who knew someone close to them lost to death...or suicide.

You see, my Uncle killed himself on March 3rd, 2011, a month before I turned 21. My Uncle, I loved him like a father, since my own father is and always will be a jerk. For the first years of my life, he was in a different state and I`d only seen him once. He came again when I was around seven, and I loved him so much. I begged him to stay. Not long after, he moved nearby, and I couldn`t have been happier. He took me to the movies, he introduced me to music, and he always tried to protect me, and guide me. I could never have guessed what he was thinking. He disproved of my marriage, and now I`ll never get the chance to prove him wrong.

For the first few months after, I wanted to join him, because it hurt too much to keep going. However, I realized I still wanted the chance to live.

Still, my life changed. Broken, changed, and always dark. Not long after his suicide my aunt and grandmother cast us away. I really think they lost their grip on reality, unable to bear the pain of losing him. My grandmother met a man, and two weeks later she married him. Now my aunt plans to marry a man she hasn`t even met, on the day they meet. This isn`t like them. Now my father is too angry, and I doubt I`ll ever get to see them again.

I just don`t know how to get on with my life? How do I pick up the pieces after all of this? I`m not suicidal; I got over that a couple months ago. I still don`t know how to shove this grief aside enough to live.

I can`t help but blame myself sometimes. Would I have been able to save him? As everyone else says, I couldn`t, but how to cast it away completely?

I am new to Witchcraft, and sometimes remembering this, remembering him, fills me with doubt on this path.

[Rowena]

Hey

I hope you'll read this since you posted some time ago.
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss.
I know how you feel because my grandfather committed suicide 4 years ago. I had decided to visit my grandparents that day and arrived at their house literally two minutes too late to save him.
All I could do was call the ambulance and watch him die while I waited for it to arrive.
I was left with a lot of guilt, anger and questions, but now I understand that I couldn't have stopped him no matter what I I had done, just like you couldn't have stopped your uncle.
If he was desperate enough to take his own life, nothing you could have said would have stopped him.
He probably didn't think about the consequences of his actions because he was too blinded by his own pain, but he wouldn't want to cause you pain.
My grandfather would never have done anything to hurt me and I'm guessing it's the same for your uncle.
The only thing you can do is live your life the best you can.
For now, surround yourself with things and people that make you happy.

I wish you a lot of strength!