Is My Friend Depressed?

[Bougainvillea]

I've been really frustrated with my closest friend lately. I don't know if she's depressed or what's wrong. I'm worried that she could be suicidal, but I'm not sure.

She's been really irritated and angry lately. When we went swimsuit shopping, she got extremely upset because she couldn't find bottoms that fit. She's always talking about her weight, when she really does NOT weigh a lot. She says there's only one store she can go to because normal clothes don't fit.

She goes on and on about how she doesn't know how to do things. Like how to be a little more 'wild' (loosely termed). Or how to overcome her fears. She says if she lays in bed at night before being tired, she'll start thinking. And I asked her what was wrong with that, and she just said things got scary. She tells me that she dreams about death almost every night. Those have been going on for months, but it's just recently that I've seen a change.

And lastly...she cut herself. Twice. They were just below her hipbones and I was completely shocked when she told me. I asked if she was suicidal, she said no. I asked if she was depressed, she said no. So why had she done it? She said she didn't know. She just had. Since then, she hasn't cut herself. That was a few months ago. I haven't told a soul, even though it's been hard. I'm just getting very frustrated, which may be wrong of me but still.

She's the only person who knows about my being Pagan. She was even very interested in the religion.

So what I'm asking is, is she depressed? Or suicidal? I don't know what to do.

[JBRaven]

I don't think she is suicidal. I think she is trying to gain some sort of control in her life. She is having thoughts about fears that she cannot come to terms with. She dreams about death, which means new beginnings, and she could feel as if her life is not her own. She wants a different body; she can't seem to make her body what she wants. If she cut once and still has those feeling of no of control, she is more than likely hiding it from you. Cutting gives the sense of control but also a secret shame; fearing that you have let down a person you care about.

While I do not know how to help her exactly but maybe an insight as to her mind set may help. It is normal to feel frustrated when you don't know how to help a friend. If she is showing signs of being suicidal; a real friend will get help. She may hate you for as long as she lives but if you don't tell someone she won't live long.

[Bougainvillea]

That makes sense. I think she may have just had a really bad week the week she cut herself. She seems fine now, pretty happy even. I may have just been worrying (and for good reason, after the cutting). I'll keep an eye on her and try to be as comforting as possible. Thank you.