I had a question about something that is driving me insane... so here it goes, with a little bit of back story...
When I was 17 (I am nearly 20 now), I became acquainted with a boy. There wasn't much contact, but I was intrigued anyway. A year afterwards, we met again and found ourselves gravitating towards each other a second time, and finally dated. When we were dating, we shared stories about our intuition about each other, just vague feelings about how intrigued we were about each other though we knew nothing about each other. There were times when I felt he was apart of me. I even remember referring to him as "my family" when I was thinking about him. He eventually became my first love. We dated abruptly for only for 7 and a half months. Things ended horribly for the both of us, as we were both dealing with a lot of the same mental health issues.
I'm quite certain he is a soulmate of mine, as I believe soulmates are the people who will have some tremendous affect on our lives, though not necessarily lasting forever, since sometimes they must come and go at particular moments. Since things ended so terribly for us, we haven't spoken since, although we see each other, we pretend that we're strangers.
The thing I'm confused about is that I can still feel him even after all this time. I dream about him all the time. I can feel when I will run into him randomly on the street, or when someone is about to mention him. I had a particular bad day and was nearly suicidal, and found out later that he had tried to kill himself.
I don't want to feel him anymore, especially because I have feelings for him (first love and all), and he's already moved on. I just want to move on too. Am I linked to him permanently? How long will I continue to feel him? Is there anyway I can shut off the connection?
Thanks for any advice!