I relise that I've been posting ALOT of things regarding my relationship to my boyfriend, and I aplogize if it's getting old to some of you.
So I've been reserching alot about past lives and working on figuring out mine. Through deep meditation and dreams I've learned that my boyfriend and I were deeply in love in a past life but couldn't be together, I believe it's because I was in an agranged marriage. Where and when this all took place is still unclear to me. I also believe that out of great pain and sorrow from not being able to be with my love I took away my own life.
In a sence history is repeating itself. But this time it's making it difficult for us to be together because of the poor choices he has made, Ive mentioned them in previous posts but in case you didn't see them he's doing things like, running away from home, smoaking pot instead of going to school , I don't think he's going to graduate. (we are both high school seniors) I'm so scared for him, I don't know how to help him anymore. Everyone says that I need to dump him to give him a wake up call but Im afraid if I do that I will loose him forever. I've become suicidal and started cutting myself. I'm afraid that one day I will take it too far and take my own life.
I love him more then anything and want nothing more then to be with him, I feel that we were ment to be together in this life time.
I just don't know what to do with him.
I just don't know what to do.
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WitchyLady506
- Posts: 499
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 11:01 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: St. Louis
I'm going to sound like a total b*tch here but I'm gonna give you advice based on what I've seen over and over again as well as what I've been through.
You're a senior in high school, which means that you're still a teenager. While you do love him and may feel like you're suppose to be with him, it may just be teenage love. Every girl I've known who had a serious relationship in high school thinks this. Truth is, most of the time it turns out not to be the case.
That in mind, if the actions of your boyfriend are causing you to hurt yourself, you need to leave him. Also he's not thinking about you or even his future with the decisions he's making, so sorry, he's not making you or the possibility of a life together the first priority.
Also, even if he is making choices to change things now, you need to consider yourself. You have your entire life ahead of you. Hopefully you're going to be going college and making it out into the world. I think in a lot of ways having a boyfriend who causes you to harm yourself and doesn't tend to think about his future or the effects of his actions on others isn't something to hold on to. You have so much opportunity in front of you, don't cling to something that's holding you down.
Now I'm sorry for saying this, but like I've said I've seen a thousand times over. I'm old enough to have seen those high school couples get married and then divorced, and realize they may have sacrificed to much for the other person. I don't want you having that. I think you need to make a few decisions concerning where you want to be in life as well as what type of person you want in your life. Who is truly worthy of you. I suggest making a list of what you require in a partner(good sense of humour, sense of life direction, et cetra) as well as what would be nice(looks, speaking a couple languages) and what you don't want. And I will let you know that as you get more out there in the world and discover more about yourself, you're list will evolve, mostly getting longer.
Once again sorry, but I'm being honest with you and at this age it's really crucial to be making decisions for yourself and start discovering what's best for you.
You're a senior in high school, which means that you're still a teenager. While you do love him and may feel like you're suppose to be with him, it may just be teenage love. Every girl I've known who had a serious relationship in high school thinks this. Truth is, most of the time it turns out not to be the case.
That in mind, if the actions of your boyfriend are causing you to hurt yourself, you need to leave him. Also he's not thinking about you or even his future with the decisions he's making, so sorry, he's not making you or the possibility of a life together the first priority.
Also, even if he is making choices to change things now, you need to consider yourself. You have your entire life ahead of you. Hopefully you're going to be going college and making it out into the world. I think in a lot of ways having a boyfriend who causes you to harm yourself and doesn't tend to think about his future or the effects of his actions on others isn't something to hold on to. You have so much opportunity in front of you, don't cling to something that's holding you down.
Now I'm sorry for saying this, but like I've said I've seen a thousand times over. I'm old enough to have seen those high school couples get married and then divorced, and realize they may have sacrificed to much for the other person. I don't want you having that. I think you need to make a few decisions concerning where you want to be in life as well as what type of person you want in your life. Who is truly worthy of you. I suggest making a list of what you require in a partner(good sense of humour, sense of life direction, et cetra) as well as what would be nice(looks, speaking a couple languages) and what you don't want. And I will let you know that as you get more out there in the world and discover more about yourself, you're list will evolve, mostly getting longer.
Once again sorry, but I'm being honest with you and at this age it's really crucial to be making decisions for yourself and start discovering what's best for you.
They say only Silver Bullets kill the beast inside.....
I've been through my fair share of problems... however, cutting yourself and suicide is not the answer. Cutting yourself only gives you temporary relief and does not resolve anything. I wish I would have never cut myself because I will live with the scars forever...
The idea of your sadness does not make any sense to me. Sit down, clear your mind and think logically. Separate yourself from your emotions because they are clouding your mind and judgement.
Why do you cut yourself? Is it necessary? What benefits does it bring to you?
Do you see how your course of action is illogical? Now... your boyfriend does not rule your life. In order to help another, one must first help themselves. Now, if you know that the relationship you are in is detrimental to you, why are you still in it?
Do not take my words wrong, I am only trying to help you. I have gone through many problems in my shot 19 years of life. I am sure that others have suffered far more than I have. It is up to you to change your fate. I want you to realize this because nothing will just easily make itself available to you; it wont appear 'out of thin air'.
I hope that The Divine guides and blesses you in all aspects in life. I hope that you get through your problems.
Love and Light,
Blessed Be.
The idea of your sadness does not make any sense to me. Sit down, clear your mind and think logically. Separate yourself from your emotions because they are clouding your mind and judgement.
Why do you cut yourself? Is it necessary? What benefits does it bring to you?
Do you see how your course of action is illogical? Now... your boyfriend does not rule your life. In order to help another, one must first help themselves. Now, if you know that the relationship you are in is detrimental to you, why are you still in it?
Do not take my words wrong, I am only trying to help you. I have gone through many problems in my shot 19 years of life. I am sure that others have suffered far more than I have. It is up to you to change your fate. I want you to realize this because nothing will just easily make itself available to you; it wont appear 'out of thin air'.
I hope that The Divine guides and blesses you in all aspects in life. I hope that you get through your problems.
Love and Light,
Blessed Be.
sorry it's taken me so long to reply, I've been trying to clear my head.
Thank you all for your wisdom. I want you to know that I took all of your advice into serious consideration. I thought long and hard about it and relised that for our relationship to continue one of us is going to have to change, either me for the worse or him for the better. I don't want to be the one to change, I start college in July and will be persuing my dream to become an animator. I have alot of talent and ambitio
that I don't want to throw away.
So last week I let him borrow my debit card for gas money and he went over the ammount of money that was in my account, the bank called my parents thinking it was stolen, my parents where going to call the police that night because they had also found out that I snuck him into the house a couple of nights in a row. Another reason they could have used to call the cops was that he was listed as a run away.
(this was last Wednesday) my dad drove me to school that morning with the intention of talking to my vice principal about a 'no contact order' against my boy friend. Because I'm 18 I can refuse, knowing this my dad said he would call the police that afternoon if I didn't go through with it. I pleded for him to give me until that night to think about it and he reluctantly agreed. The time I had to 'think about it' gave me one last chance to get my boy friend to relise he needed to turn his life around. I pulled his best friend aside and told him what was going and asked him to help me (his friend agreed that he needed to turn his life around) so we sat my boy friend now and explained that he could deside to make some changes in his life or go to jail, the way he has been using pot has become destructive and he needs to quit, he needs to graduate high school, he has been treating me like sh*t, And so on. The first step to making things right again was to go home and work things out with his parents. After a long talk I think it all finally clicked in his head. He told me that he was sorry and that he realy dose love me. I told him that he needed to prove to me by getting his life together.
The next day my boyfriends dad called my dad and told him that he was realy grateful to me for him to go home and that's he was putting him in a school that will help him graduate and help with his adictions and other problems.
I havnt seem or talked to my boy friend since last Wednesday. I miss him so much. My cell phone has been taken away and our home phone has been disconnect so my only way to talk to him is the Internet but from what it sounds like his parents have him grounded from everything. I want to talk to him so bad but in a way I feel it's best that I don't. He needs to choose for himself to change, I can't be there holding his hand along the way. He took the first few steps and I'm so proud of him for it. But because of his track record everyone thinks he's going to screw up again. This is a test to see if he realy loves me and I hope and pray that he passes because I want to be with him so bad. I'm so 'effin' scared.
I also want to say thank you all so much for your help and support, I've stopes cutting myself and I have to owe it to this fourm and it's wonderful members that have been greats friends to me during these dark times. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Thank you all for your wisdom. I want you to know that I took all of your advice into serious consideration. I thought long and hard about it and relised that for our relationship to continue one of us is going to have to change, either me for the worse or him for the better. I don't want to be the one to change, I start college in July and will be persuing my dream to become an animator. I have alot of talent and ambitio
that I don't want to throw away.
So last week I let him borrow my debit card for gas money and he went over the ammount of money that was in my account, the bank called my parents thinking it was stolen, my parents where going to call the police that night because they had also found out that I snuck him into the house a couple of nights in a row. Another reason they could have used to call the cops was that he was listed as a run away.
(this was last Wednesday) my dad drove me to school that morning with the intention of talking to my vice principal about a 'no contact order' against my boy friend. Because I'm 18 I can refuse, knowing this my dad said he would call the police that afternoon if I didn't go through with it. I pleded for him to give me until that night to think about it and he reluctantly agreed. The time I had to 'think about it' gave me one last chance to get my boy friend to relise he needed to turn his life around. I pulled his best friend aside and told him what was going and asked him to help me (his friend agreed that he needed to turn his life around) so we sat my boy friend now and explained that he could deside to make some changes in his life or go to jail, the way he has been using pot has become destructive and he needs to quit, he needs to graduate high school, he has been treating me like sh*t, And so on. The first step to making things right again was to go home and work things out with his parents. After a long talk I think it all finally clicked in his head. He told me that he was sorry and that he realy dose love me. I told him that he needed to prove to me by getting his life together.
The next day my boyfriends dad called my dad and told him that he was realy grateful to me for him to go home and that's he was putting him in a school that will help him graduate and help with his adictions and other problems.
I havnt seem or talked to my boy friend since last Wednesday. I miss him so much. My cell phone has been taken away and our home phone has been disconnect so my only way to talk to him is the Internet but from what it sounds like his parents have him grounded from everything. I want to talk to him so bad but in a way I feel it's best that I don't. He needs to choose for himself to change, I can't be there holding his hand along the way. He took the first few steps and I'm so proud of him for it. But because of his track record everyone thinks he's going to screw up again. This is a test to see if he realy loves me and I hope and pray that he passes because I want to be with him so bad. I'm so 'effin' scared.
I also want to say thank you all so much for your help and support, I've stopes cutting myself and I have to owe it to this fourm and it's wonderful members that have been greats friends to me during these dark times. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
