Paganism, Witchcraft and your other half **Warning-Long Post

[Feather_Rainbow]

**This is a long post so please be patient**

Ok so, I've got a bit of a personal question to ask you guys.

Are any of you in a relationship with or married to someone of a non pagan religion and does it interfere in your relationship? By that I mean does your belief sometime come in-between you?

The reason I ask this is because I am currently engaged to a man who is not of the pagan faith. I've tried to have deep discussions with him before. Some topics he is willing to openly engage and some, not so much and unfortunately religion just happens to be one of these topics that he clams closed on.

Just a bit of background info:
He was brought up in a Born Again Christian home and his family are brethren (VERY strict. They don't even have a TV )
His parents really want him to "get saved" but he doesn't know what he wants. He goes to their hall once every Sunday evening but he's told me he only does this to keep his parents happy (If he didn't go his mother would be very displeased.. and he doesn't want to start arguments.)

I keep telling him that if he believes in something, he should believe it because he wants to, not because his parents want him to. By the by he's 26, a fully grown adult man and his mother still has a hold on him. I fear that once we get married, she will still continue to interfere in his personal matters.
(Although it is my house and I am free to politely remove her whenever I wish. I sincerely hope she does not start preaching to my children (if we have any) as I am going to bring them up in home where they can decide what they believe and they are taught to accept all religions )

I on the otherhand was taken out of church when I was still quite young, (maybe 7 or 8) so I have felt free to investigate other religions that felt right to me (even though my parents still hold the christian faith and beliefs. My mum especially so.)
When I was in primary school I remember believing in reincarnation (where that came from, when I was so young, I'm not sure) and I always questioned why animals didn't have souls. So as you can see I was doubting my birth-faith very young.

I did try my future parent in laws religion but eventually I just ended up questioning it and fell away. I admitted to him that my beliefs were more of the pagan sort and I didn't and couldn't believe in christianity. (I explained to him what paganism is and my beliefs on reincarnation and energies etc) He said he was happy so long as I didn't venture towards witchcraft.

So this brings me to my problem. It was about 6 months to a year ago when I told him I was pagan (at that time I thought I was going to be staying away from witchcraft. Now I am more leaning towards it. Although I wouldn't call myself a witch. I am more eclectic.) I am currently still living with my family so I am doing my best to hide this from them as I know they would not react very well at all.

But what do I do about my fiance??? I know he wouldn't take it well at all as he was brought up to believe it as evil. Do I just go on doing what I can, when I can, in private and not say a word. (Eventually he will find out but I'm hoping I will be more adept and may find the words then to describe and show him how it's not evil and is used to help others.)

Does anyone else have this scenario? How does it work in your relationship/marriage?

Thanks,

Feather_Rainbow

[BallisticJW]

This is just my opinion. If he is being forced, coerced, and getting told to engage in his Christianity, then its not for him.
being said he is a grown man, if he is participating it has to be under his free will. Maybe he feels obligated to family, but there is a difference between support and control.

I would really just think about my life with the man, and if it would be worth the constant worry and/or discomfort. All things can be worked out... some things aren't worth it.

[Feather_Rainbow]

I was hoping you weren't going to say that. Lol.

Currently it's only a decision I can make but we've gone and bought a house so I'm willing to give things a shot before I throw them up in the air.
I just don't want to give things up when there's a chance it may work.

At the minute Stephen says he understands and he's happy. He knows I'm going to have candles and incense about the place which he says he's quite happy with.
As far as I know he's quite open minded about religions/spirituality (but again, I don't think I'll bring the witch thing up just yet) and I would never force him to believe in something he's not into.

I just suppose I'm more worried in case, once we move into our house and eventually get married, that his family will still try to interfere instead of let him do what he wants. Is there anyway we can stop that?
My mother has already said she doesn't want to bother me once I move out, so that's one less person to worry about.
But if his mother does come around trying to interfere I am willing to just politely let her know that her son is old enough to make his own decisions and that her pushiness isn't welcome.

I guess I'm just curious if pagan/witch and non pagan relationships can work? I don't know of any relationships like this, but then again, I don't know any pagans apart from the ones on this board.

Has anyone here had a similar experience?

Thank you again for your help.

If any one else wants to give their opinions, please feel free.

[Ula]

I have grown into this while married. My husband is fine with it though he doesn't practice paganism or the craft. He still has full knowledge. Should you get into a house and relationship without telling him the truth. What if you get in waist high and he bales? I believe if you are afraid to be honest it's not a great relationship. Just saying, it can work but you have to put it out there.

[Feather_Rainbow]

Thanks for your advice Ula.
How would I even go about mentioning it to him? I didn't mean to suggest we can't be honest with each other. That actually is far from the truth. Lol. I'm just afraid of him jumping to the conclusion that witchcraft is worshipping satan etc etc just by going by what his strict Christian parents tell him. How would I even begin explaining to him what it's about?

I haven't started practising the craft yet. I'm really just studying/looking into it first cuz there is so much to learn.

[Ula]

I would write it down. What you believe and why. Let him know your just studying. People get mediation let him know your meditating and doing energy work. You could always let him see this site too. Read it a bit and get a feel. Are you going to have an altar? I would let him know that to and have him help you find the items and why you are using them.

[Feather_Rainbow]

Thanks Ula.
As I said before, he's pretty open minded about what I believe at the minute. The last time I told him about it I told him I was a pagan. I never mentioned the craft.

He knows I believe in reincarnation and that my belief is that all the gods exist and they make up what I call the divine. (Some people may say my beliefs are wrong but they feel right to me)
He also knows I believe that all living things have spirits and that everything has an energy which we can use.
So I suppose I'm sort of half way there already. I'm not sure he understands it completely but he accepts it.

Are altars necessary? I could never really understand why some people have them.

And can you practise the craft and worship different Gods/ Goddesses other than the standard God and Goddess?

[Ula]

Are altars necessary? I could never really understand why some people have them.

And can you practice the craft and worship different Gods/ Goddesses other than the standard God and Goddess?

No they are not but I have one. It's a space I have set aside for me and my work. I store all my stuff there. It's a space that is controlled energy wise. I keep it clean and charged. I can use it to charge items or to make offerings or to worship. Sometime I take things outside or at the kitchen table but it's there and mine I guess is the why I like it.

There are people who worship from different pantheons, a god/ goddess representative of all. I am Gnostic Christian so I pray to the Father, who is masculine, Holy Spirit who is feminine and Son which is creation of man and woman and a magic worker in my eyes. Gnostic are pagan so I also have Frau Holda as my matron goddess as she represent home and family. And I am a witch. lol. Lots to explain there. So you can kinda do what you like. You can be witch and an atheist. It's more about energy than getting from the gods. Someone else might have other things to say on it. I am pretty chatty when work is slow, lol.

[Feather_Rainbow]

Just to update you all. I had a heart to heart with my other half and he seems to be accepting of my interest in the craft.
He knows I am very open minded and knows I will give anything a try to see if I like it.

So now I don't know what I was worrying for. Lol.

[Feather_Rainbow]

Does anyone else have a pagan/witch and/non-pagan relationship?

Is it easy or hard? Are they interested in your beliefs?

I'm just curious now as to what other people's scenarios are and how many pagan/non-pagan relationships there are.

Thanks

[Ula]

Just to update you all. I had a heart to heart with my other half and he seems to be accepting of my interest in the craft.
He knows I am very open minded and knows I will give anything a try to see if I like it.

So now I don't know what I was worrying for. Lol.

[Feather_Rainbow]

It feels great to have things out in the open.
Now I know how he feels, I feel happy now too! Yayeee!

[BallisticJW]

Good for you! Honesty is always the best policy!