Avoiding Predators - Online Safety Tips

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Kassandra
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Avoiding Predators - Online Safety Tips

Post by Kassandra »

We do encourage networking, and this site is a great way to meet people with whom you can share your spiritual beliefs. There are a lot of great members here, and I myself have met people with whom I have established friendships. But common sense still has to be exercised here, as with anywhere else.

All the warnings you see in those public service announcements about predators lurking on message boards and chat rooms are TRUE. The reason why they're written is because bad things REALLY DO happen to unsuspecting, innocent people, especially teenagers. The victim's thinking is always "bad things like that only happen to others, never to me" or "this person is nice to me, so this must be safe," etc., and the criminal is banking on this kind of thinking.

Moderators cannot know 100% whether people on this message board are telling the truth about who they are, where they live, their age, etc. We just can't know. If we do find out they're misleading you, we will remove them as a member here.

Online Safety and Security


EUTM's accounts of every member is password-protected. The site takes every precaution to protect the information of the members, as well as information collected from other users of the website, so we asks all members to take reasonable steps to protect themselves. If you have any questions about the security at our website, please contact the Board Administrators.

Password

Never give your passwords out to anyone. It is your responsibility to safeguard your password for your own protection. The best passwords are 8 characters long or more. You may mix in uppercase letters and numbers when you're creating your password. We also recommend you to change it frequently, so that no one can break into your accounts.


Personal Information


As was stated, EUTM may also serve as an online social networking community that connects people through networks of people for communicating, sharing and making new friends. As with all things good, there is also a dark side to any websites you visit, (not just here at EUTM). Rogue applications, predators, identity thieves and other assorted badasses love to play and surf the internet almost as much as you do.

So we encourage everyone to practice not to share or reveal his/her PERSONAL information such as home address, telephone number, mobile phone number, school name, office address, I.D. nos., bank information and financial status on the message board, private messaging or chatroom.

If someone asks you for your personal information and the request is worded in an enforcing manner or in a manner which makes you feel uncomfortable, please contact one of the Staffs with the person's username and, if possible, a copy of the message what was asked of you.

Email Address


It is up to you to decide whether you're going to post your e-mail addresses here at our site under you contact field or not. But we really ask each of our member not to post your email addresses in any of the threads or show them in your signatures. Keep these details to PM only.

If you do post this info it's possible that predators or spammers could use your e-mails to SPAM, torment or harass you. The less exposure the better.

Log Out if you are using a Public Computer


At the end of your session when you use a computer in public like in an internet cafe, campus computer lab and even at your friend's house, remember to always Log Out so that no one can use your account.

Meeting other Members from EUTM

We ask each and every member to remain safe and secure at all times if you wish to meet up with someone from our site. While you probably feel like you know a member from this community very well, the internet tricks people that way.

If you are under 18 you must have your parent/guardians permission to do so and they should also accompany you. You should also be sure to arrange the meeting in a public place like mall, park etc. and make sure someone knows where and when you're going, who you are meeting, and at what exact time you'll be back.
Josh

Post by Josh »

I'd recommend meeting in a public place, If you give them your phone number, Call and "Be Late", then see who answers there phone. If they are not who they claim to be, then leave immediately. There always are "Creepers" online.

Be safe!
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Kassandra
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Suggestions

Post by Kassandra »

Good suggestions.
Scotia

Post by Scotia »

Thank you for the heads up.
Vesca
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Re: Predators do troll message boards like this one

Post by Vesca »

I know we’re all aware that the internet is a great place to learn and to connect with others who have similar interests. I’m also certain that we all know that the internet is not a particularly safe or secure place to be sharing our most personal details and information. And yes, some of this post will overlap with the original post, bear with me. :)

I wanted to go into a few of these things in the hopes that having that extra awareness of the virtual world we log into will allow us all to be just a little bit safer.


Anonymity:

The virtual world is a world of anonymity. Anyone can connect to the internet, make a profile or a username somewhere and start talking to other people. This person can claim to be anyone, live anywhere, be of any gender, age, and have any occupation or other background details. You really can’t be sure without knowing them in the real world.


Motivations:

You also can’t know these anonymous person’s motivations for logging in and chatting to you (or anyone else). I would say that the majority of people who log into a social media connection point (forum, chat room, etc…) are doing it for two reasons: boredom and the wish to chat to like-minded individuals.

But there are people who are predatory, who go in looking for personal gain at the expense of others and will lie about themselves, their background, their identity, and their knowledge/experience in order to progress that goal. This is the reason why we need to be aware of the world around us and need to think twice about what we make public about ourselves.

I’m not saying look at everyone sideways with great suspicion. I am saying that what you write on the internet, once it is posted, it is “out there” and can’t be taken back. Even if you delete it, even if the server crashes, even if the website is removed, it is out there and there are people who will be able to find it. So if you’re in a particularly sticky home situation or want to post a photo of someone else that isn’t you without their knowledge, it’s worth thinking about it a bit more. You can’t control who will see or read what you post, and you can’t control their intentions either. So make sure you only post what you’re comfortable sharing with the world.

Some of these motivations can include, but aren’t limited to, identity theft, financial theft (either by retrieving personal information or by scamming), stalking, threatening, and acting from a compulsive mental disorder.

This last one is really the one that doesn’t get discussed much, and it can be very hurtful. There are different scales and extremes to this phenomenon, but to bring my point about awareness home I’m going to share with you one of the most extreme examples.


Munchausen by Internet

Munchausen’s syndrome is a disorder characterized by the individual falsifying symptoms of illnesses in order to get attention. Basically, it’s an attention seeking disorder. They feign an illness or otherwise simulate the symptoms by other means and graciously receive the sympathy and care from others. Munchausen’s syndrome by proxy is characterized by the individual falsifying illness in another person (usually their child) in an effort to gain attention. Often, this involves making the other person ill (poisoning is common). It is a form of abuse, and it can be very severe and life-threatening for the victim.

There is a third form, generally accepted by officials who have been exposed to it (police officers, therapists), but not yet formally recognized in the clinical handbook, called Munchausen by Internet. In a nutshell, these people use the internet’s anonymity to fabricate their unrealistic lives. They are often very charismatic, and their “lives” tend to be technically realistic (as in, it could happen), but often out of the realm of anything you or I would consider to be normal. Bigger than life, is the phrase that comes to mind. They claim a lifestyle that you or I could only dream of, or they claim an illness, a series of illnesses, or a personal background that seems to be unrealistically negative.

They can often be extremely dedicated to their persona, spending hours posting every day and really building up their "character". They form friendships with you and make you really care about them, although these friendships are based entirely on a lie. They post pictures (sometimes stolen from the Internet) that they claim depict themselves.

Why would someone do something like this? Simply put: attention. They thrive off of the attention that you give to their fake personality. That's why their "lives" are often so improbably tragic -- to get your sympathy and pity. They may also be fishing for your adoration, your praise, your anger, and in some cases, your money. One could consider them to be a particular type of psychic vampire that uses the Internet to feed off of people.

(Yes, we did unfortunately have at least one confirmed case of a Munchausen by Internet troll).

To demonstrate what I’m talking about, here is a fantastic article that describes the experience of a woman who has first-hand experience of this phenomenon.

The Lying Disease



Now that you’re a little disturbed

After all that, with your spidey senses tingling, I just want to bring forth one more point.

Some people lie. A lot of people lie. Especially on the internet. Sometimes it’s about big things, sometimes it’s about little things that really have no consequence. I’m of the personal opinion that if I don’t want to disclose something, I simply won’t and I won’t tell a lie or talk about it cryptically if I don’t wish to share.

But not all lies will become issues. You may feel a bit betrayed if you ever find out something to the contrary, but if you haven’t vested yourself personally in that person it won’t carry the same kind of upset. To keep yourself safe, be aware of what could happen, and remember that for every nasty experience or ill-willed person, there are thousands who are genuinely kind-hearted, honest, and caring.

And lastly, if someone tells you their story and it seems a little far-fetched, don’t automatically assume they’re lying or have Munchausen’s Syndrome. Some people do have legitimately amazing life stories. It can sometimes be a fine line between awareness and paranoia.


Some things to keep in mind to keep yourself safe
  • • Be aware that what you post on the internet will never be erased, and think twice about posting about other people’s personal lives, details, or photos. You never know who might steal your photos and use them in ways you do not approve of.

    • Be cautious, but not condemning, of people whose stories seem far-fetched and unrealistic (particularly if they become increasingly far-fetched as time goes on).

    • Listen to your instincts; if something seems off, it probably is. Your subconscious can pick up cues that your conscious mind doesn’t always interpret as quickly. Listen to it.

    • Exercise your best judgment about what relationships you invest your time (or money) in.

    • Do not give out any personal details or information via the internet. This includes, but is not limited to, addresses, official documents or numbers, phone numbers, (in my opinion) full names, bank account numbers or credit card numbers.
If you have any concerns about a particular member, please feel to PM a moderator or an admin.
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SnowCat
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Re: Predators do troll message boards like this one

Post by SnowCat »

Some people may present themselves as "spiritual gurus." Oftentimes, these people can be very persuasive. If someone claims to have multiple "titles," in terms of spirituality, that person should be able to provide some sort of supporting evidence. This type of person may also make veiled threats if their claims are called into question, and can be quite adept at turning things around to make themselves the injured party. Be alert! we need more lerts!
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Corbin
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Re: Predators do troll message boards like this one

Post by Corbin »

I would add, as a parent who has shared the same types of concerns with his own teenagers networking on the Internet - always have actually spoken to the person face to face before you ever even consider any steps toward meeting them; by face time or video call. If they will not or can not - err on the side of safety and caution - they are likely not what / who they claim to be in that picture or description.

Be safe.
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