Greetings! I am Cigfran

[Cigfran]

Hello everyone,

I am Cigfran, which, according to my admittedly amateur research, means "raven" in Welsh (Gaelic). I pronounce it something like "Keg-vrun", but it probably sounds very different, depending on your accent.

I chose that name for this forum because of all animals, the Raven speaks to me the most. The image of this bird has affected me since a young age: from contemplation of Merlin, Odin's Hugin and Munin and learning about the Haida myths of Raven the Trickster. Always feeling like an outsider, I felt a kinship with this clever, long-lived and frequently misunderstood animal. Well, also because I was a goth during my adolescence and black birds were awesome. Seriously, though, it is a fascinating creature that has a significant role in almost all of Earth's cultures. I also identify with Ra and Horus. The latter, while usually identified as a Falcon, has always held a strange, inexplicable meaning to me. It is strange...

I chose the Welsh name because my ancestors hail from that country and I'm seeking my non-Christian roots. Paganism and Druidic lore fascinate me tremendously. I would love to change my last name to the original, non-Christianized version. But I digress!

I am a 37 year old male from Canada. I like a wide variety of music (I really mean that: for example, my current commute playlist includes Baroque, Trip hop, Black Metal, Soul, Gothic Rock and very old Jazz), collaborative role-playing games like D&D, reading (dark fantasy, speculative fiction and history, especially about ancient cultures) and watching movies (and re-watching classics over and over). In another life I must have been a film maker and storyteller...

As a developing Wiccan (wow it feels good to actually state it openly at last, at least here, anyway) I felt that I needed to seek, reach out and speak with others further along the path. I need guidance!

Before I had delved into Scott Cunningham's books for the solitary practitioner, and Margot Adler's Drawing Down the Moon (tomes that changed me forever), I was always drawn towards this form of spirituality.

As a youth, I always felt compassion and sympathy towards "witches" and "wizards" in various mediums. I always was an outsider and still feel like one. Drawn more toward the tome, wand and magic circle than modern trappings, I easily could get lost in contemplation of the tree, the brook, the sun and moon's light. Not afraid, but in awe of the cosmic array before us. Stopping to smell the roses was a daily routine, so to speak.

My parents were devout Anglicans, and while I never had any outright negative experiences with organized Christianity, my mother's approach to the faith was oppressive and traumatizing: in her view, women were evil temptresses, anything magical was satanic if it wasn't covered in the Old or New Testament and sex, in general, was a foul, shameful thing (unless condoned by the Pope or whatever). She moved on from this, and I don't hold any huge grudges, other than a pure disdain and mistrust for anyone making me feel shameful about things "because baby Jesus says so" (or any other deity figure from mainstream religions). My young adult atheist phase helped me purge those negative feelings, but that time has passed and I'm discovering spirituality on my own, without Sunday School or lectures from a pulpit.

Wicca speaks to me as a form of liberation of society's constricted apathy towards the observances of nature's cycles. The simpler life, enjoying friends, family and a sunset. The concept of the Triple Goddess, while essentially feminine, is reflective to me of a wider view of nature and the cycle of life. It makes me feel easier about aging, makes me feel more at peace about things that bring anxiety and pain.

Wow that was long-winded. My apologies, this feels like unloading a lot of baggage.

Anyways, I'm super happy to be here and I look forward to the many discussions to be had! So much to say and share and learn from you all.

I come to you humbly, to learn!

Thank you,

Cigfran

[SpiritTalker]

Hi Cigfran & welcome to the flock.

[Panthera]

Hello is welcome among us. Do you speak French? I ask the question because I am French.

I suspect that it is not easy to grow up in a family with stifling beliefs. Personally, I am baptized, my parents let me believe in what I desired.

[RavenClaw]

Hail and well met Cigfran. I too love nature. Welcome to SF!

[Cigfran]

Thank you all, I look forward to learning more from this community.

Hello is welcome among us. Do you speak French? I ask the question because I am French.

I suspect that it is not easy to grow up in a family with stifling beliefs. Personally, I am baptized, my parents let me believe in what I desired.

Thank you. I do speak French

I am also baptized. While my mother has become a lot more relaxed, she is still very disturbed by anything remotely “Pagan”.

I keep it a secret, not wanting to break her heart.

Ironically, one her favorite religious movies is called Father Sun, Sister Moon, and is about Saint Francis, who was a lover of nature and animals. The movie spoke a lot to me, but not about Roman Catholicism...