How can I put up with this for another 10 - 15 years?

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The_Hiding_Amaranth7

How can I put up with this for another 10 - 15 years?

Post by The_Hiding_Amaranth7 »

So my grandad is the legal guardian of my brother, sister and I because our drugie, alcoholic father abandoned us 5 years ago and our mother died in 2011. I appreciate him taking care of us, but he's driving me crazy and I'm on the edge of actually hating him.

One thing that gets to me so much is that he has such a huge f****** (sorry for the language) ego and so much pride in himself that he thinks that he can't do any wrong, make any mistakes. Ect. Usually he tries to blame others for his mistakes. Just a few days ago in the morning, he went to turn on the tv to watch the news and he noticed that the tv had been on all night. He was the last one to use the tv so he knew it was his fault and he said: "Did I really do this?" Like it was a big deal when really its not. And I'm not kidding, he sat there for about 8 minutes with a 'Oh no, this isn't possible, im not capable of making mistakes' look on his face, pondering if he really could have done this, like it was the end of the world. I wanted to go over there and ask wtf his problem was with his whole 'I can do no wrong' attitude but I had to restrain myself.

Another thing that is really starting to piss me off is that he overeacts over the smallest things, but if it's somethings that's actually important, he doesn't care at all. Every time the tv remote is a little slow he freaks out and yells. Just anything like that makes him freak out like a child. Just today, he literally screamed at my brother because he didn't rinse out a soda can before putting it in the recycle bin. Also today, my 7 year old sister said something and he misheard what she said, he thought she had said the word 'pervert' and again he got upset. If anything goes wrong he automatically freaks out no matter what it is. He doesn't have any diffrent levels of anger other then 'super pissed'.
But what really gets me about this, is that, we have a family next door. The son is like and the daughter is 9. Both of them were raised wrong because their parents made them believe that they are better then everyone else, so they are verbally and sometime physically abusive to all the other 4 kids (including my sister) in the neighborhood because they believe they can dominate them. All of the parents to all the kids know this too. But my whenever I tell my grandad to ban my sister to from playing with these kids, his reaction is: "I'm the most experienced parent in the neighborhood," (He believes that because he is 64 years old and raised my mom for like 10 years that he knows more about parenting then everyone else in the neighborhood) "I need to keep peace in the neighborhood. Don't worry, one day those kids will realize how they act is wrong and will change."
So if someone doesn't rinse out a soda can, or doesn't eat the sandwhich meat in the fridge (he's yelled at me for not wanting a ham sandwhich >:/) or even the tv remote being slow, it's like all hell is broke loose and the world is ending. But no, when there's an actual serious issue, he doesn't care at all.

And even though he gets angry at everything, apparently in his world I'm not allowed to be upset or angry because 'I haven't experienced anything in the world that could make me truly angry so I need to stop acting so pissy'. I'm not kidding when I say, he gets angry at me for being angry or upset. Even if I'm irritate because my monthly visitor decided to come, he tells me to knock it off. (Which isn't easy to do if that's the problem) but seriously. Every single time I feel any other emotion then neutral, he freaks out. I've had to black my emotions out because of him. I'm not kidding.

I already have a plan, that when I'm living by myself and I'm out of college, that I'm going to cut off all communication with him and just dissapear of the face of the earth from him. I know it sounds mean, but if doing that bothers you, please understand that it's for my sanity and well being. He has caused me so much stress to the point where I've shoved needles into veins in my legs and let tiny streams of blood flow down my leg just to releave some of the stress he causes me.
I'm posting this because I needed some advice on other ways to help me cope with him because I know very well that shoving needles into blood vessels is unhealthy. I can't talk to him about these things because he would throw me out of the house (I'm serious). I won't be able to cut off communications with him for maybe 10 - 15 years because this upcoming school year is my freshman year of high school, so that's 4 years of high school that I have to deal with him and god knows how long I'll be in college.

So, does anyone have any advice to help me cope with this that can last that long of time?
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wolfgirl96
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Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 8:56 pm
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Re: How can I put up with this for another 10 - 15 years?

Post by wolfgirl96 »

take A LOT of walks, as far as you are allowed to go, for as long as you can. I find walks away from the fighting in my house relaxes me a lot. and maybe you could stand up for your sister. hope it helps a little at least, i'm sorry your in such a negative environment
Faerie_witch

Re: How can I put up with this for another 10 - 15 years?

Post by Faerie_witch »

If you are still looking for advice I have some for you! I have some high maintenance family members, but not quite as stressful as yours (Though my aunt did think I was 'antagonizing' her when I most certainly was not doing anything negative towards her, and told me to 'f*** off, little girl.' Then when she attempted to apologize after my mom yelled at her and told her she wasn't worth being mad over, she was really saying it was all my fault and that I had the issues to deal with)

While in high school, work as hard as you can to get good grades which I know you will since you said you where going to go to college one day. This will hopefully allow you to get enough financial aid to support yourself through college with the help of a part-time job. Apply to colleges close and hours away from where you live that are relatively inexpensive. If you get accepted to a school that is as far as you want, make plans accordingly. This is exactly what I am doing to get away from my crazy family members.
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