Healings without permission?

[Kassandra]

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To heal (without asking) or not to heal, that is the question. I've gone back and forth on this myself in the past, based on discussions like this. I came to a happy medium that I feel good about.

People like Traumwandlerin, who posted earlier in this thread, consciously want to learn whatever it is that her pain and discomforts in life have to teach her. She's been through a lot of pain, and it's surprising hearing someone embracing their circumstances with such courage and lack of self-pity, come what may. Given that there are people out there like that, maybe we should pause before we act out of ego, before we throw on our little Super Healer capes to save their day, unless it involves our minor children or pets. Then, I believe, we are just automatically responsible for their well-being, no questions asked.

When in doubt, I have learned to mentally ask a person's spirit if it is OK or not to send healing energy to them (or do any other energetic transactions with them, for that matter). You'll be surprised at how quickly that person's spirit responds. You need not utter any fancy wording of any sort, no accoutrements need to be used in the process, etc. Just one heart communicating with another. Once the answer comes to your awareness, and it will come loudly and clearly, respect it and act accordingly. Trust and use the intuitive ability that is natural to you, natural to us all...


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[MOTHERofDRAGONS]

I have a question... Why would you be upset if someone tried to help you feel better?
If I was throwing up.. Or had a simple headache, I would love to have anyone help me out. Why is this such a bad thing?

Now I won't, unless it's asked, or if it's my children or family, but why is helping and healing such a bad thing??

[Xiao Rong]

Ah, there are a lot of aspects to this question. So, I teach CPR and First Aid, and I'm acquainted with some of the legalities around (mundane) medical practice. For anyone who's a conscious, rational adult, you have to ask for consent first. One might reject medical help because they're afraid of the medical bill, or because they're afraid of getting in trouble with the law, or the treatment goes against their wishes or beliefs (like Do Not Resuscitate orders for the elderly, or maybe they'd prefer a treatment that doesn't involve surgery or something).

From a magical perspective, I recently wrestled with this issue with a friend of mine who said she was having trouble with voices in her head, which were causing her a lot of anxiety. I had composed a spell to banish the voices, but then she told me that having voices in her head was generally okay, and a different way to experience the world, when they weren't causing her anxiety. So I didn't feel like I could banish the voices and deny that part of her identity without her permission. Similarly, people with autism or deafness and the like don't think of their conditions as problems at all, but a part of their identity, even as others would seek to eliminate their "diseases". Unless it's clear that the condition is a problem and causing pain, I would want consent first before healing them, whether magically or medically.

[scaravich]

I think a good way to look at this issue is compare it to mundane healing.

If you had a headache, you would be happy if someone said "Would you like some tea?" and not feel offended.

But what if someone grabbed you, held you down to the ground, pulled your mouth open, and forced tea down your throat? Even if that was their idea of "good-natured helping," wouldn't you feel violated and offended?

Messing with someone else's life and energy in spellwork without their permission is the same as messing with their body and well-being in the physical/mundane world without permission.

Now, if you said to yourself "I hope she has some tea later" that person would not feel offended or violated. In the same way, praying that they get better would also not violate them personally. So instead of casting a healing spell, how about praying that she find her way and feel better in a way that is right for her?

She may need this ailment or bad feeling. She may be learning from it. Just because it seems negative to someone on the outside doesn't mean you have the right to try to forcibly expel it from her.

However, I also want to point out that if you make this mistake, you should not feel guilty. Life, and the Wiccan path, is about balance and learning. Making mistakes is a learning process. You did it with purely good intentions. You were trying to help. How is that shameful? How is that wrong? Certainly, you made an error you did not realize. But that itself is not a cause for shame. If you had not made this mistake now, perhaps you would have made a greater one later. You learned from this experience.

I feel that spells that involve other people are not very effective at all unless the other person is involved in some way (or you're insanely powerful). So I would bet your healing spell did next to nothing... though it's not really a good idea to be throwing energy around like that.

[-Dark-Moon-]

She may need this ailment or bad feeling. She may be learning from it.

I think this is really important... The mind does speak through the body. I think of helping others as simply walking with them in their time of darkness. They can often find their own way, but are glad for the company. They often just need time to come to their own decisions about which way is the right way.

I find the human spirit amazing. It is incredible what some people are actually able to tolerate, and live through, and still not lose their passion for life. We are as humans geared towards survival and learning. There will always be fish that choose to be carried away with the current to the murky pools, and languish there. That is their existence. That is what those fish do. They are still beautiful fish. Never assume they are ready to leave the pond. Never assume that anyone actually wants help. Even though to us they may seem to be struggling, this may actually be an improvement for them and they are doing just fine.

Always examine your own need to 'help' and 'rescue'. Is it really about the other person or did they just make you feel personally uncomfortable with their suffering? Did you judge their choices? Some suffering is necessary for acceptance that things must change. besides, why' should' they be any different, unless they want that. True support is about supporting people where they are now, not trying to change that.

We often don't like seeing people in pain. I think we are hard wired to not like it, but i also think that socialisation plays a role here. Mother Teresa has been criticised by western journalists for saying that 'suffering is beautiful'. Dying is a natural process, as is sickness, yet it is hidden way from view in western society... When people confront death for the first time, it is often in a relative, which I think makes it a bit difficult for people to understand in terms of a process generally... But it is still a beautiful process, not always, but often.

I guess I'm just trying to say that, as with the seasons, with love, relationships, and with the cycles of life, ... Everything has a spring, summer, autumn, and winter. We have a time to bloom, and a time to wither and die. The rains come, and we bloom again... If you truly connect with these cycles, you accept the spiritual winter, accept the Crone, accept death the destructive, knowing that the light will come, rebirth is possible, and the cycle will begin again. Otherwise we fight Nature, fight the Mother, who is as dark as she is light, Kali, the creator and destroyer, Lilith, Inanna, Sekmet.

'The darkness, too, blooms and sings, and is travelled by dark feet and dark wings'.

[Kassandra]

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[Kassandra]

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Always examine your own need to 'help' and 'rescue'. Is it really about the other person, or did they just make you feel personally uncomfortable with their suffering? Did you judge their choices?

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[Khaleesi]

I was always taught to ask as you're sending out the energy. If the person's energy wants to reject it, they will. So even if you think you are sending it, you may not be. Just always ask, "I am sending you, [person's name], healing energy. You are free to accept or decline. Do you accept?" That pretty much takes care of things, I think.

[Lillady]

Most of the time I will get permission before sending out healing energies. If the person is unable to be reached or it is an certain circumstance I will send it anyhow seeing as what I do put out can help that person and their situation. It is ultimately up to them to accept and/or deny it.