he is so mad!

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:25 am

last night me and my friends went out in club as im 22 and we had so much fun , we met dis guy who tried to seduce us all so we decided to play joke on em . by pretending to like em and make em take his clothes off then we throw his clothes away for bein such jerk lol it was funny. but today the morning after the guy i love was askin me did you have fun ? what did you guys do ? so i when i told em about the story . he got so mad .. he s not talking to me . i dont understand ? did i do something wrong ? i didnt even do anythin with the other guy me and my friends jst played prank on em.any advice u can give me would be great

Post by **Traumwandlerin** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:11 am

Haven't you talked befor what things are ok and what not? Everyone has a different line were they feel betrayed. Obviously somehow you crossed his line. I would say you just go to him and say sorry. Tell him how you didn't know this would cross his line. Ask him if he would like to tell you more about his line so you don't cross it again by accident. And tell him how sorry you are.

Post by **Witch13** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 11:58 am

Sigh ..men!
dump him and get a cat or a dog!
i would be a bit upset of how you were close to another guy even if it was aprank allright. but i think it would last about half an hour or so..

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:25 pm

Traumwandlerin wrote:Haven't you talked befor what things are ok and what not? Everyone has a different line were they feel betrayed. Obviously somehow you crossed his line. I would say you just go to him and say sorry. Tell him how you didn't know this would cross his line. Ask him if he would like to tell you more about his line so you don't cross it again by accident. And tell him how sorry you are.

i did tell em im sorry i didnt know i was crossin a line , me and em neva tak about da status of our relationshiop i was bit suprised of his reaction i guess he felt jealous . he is acting okay now but very silent lol iam like argh say something so iam just lettiing em to sleep on it , i dont wana say more and make it worse , its weard though we been together for 8 years he has never acted like this . in the past he went out in clubs i never said word or acted jealous

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:25 pm

Witch13 wrote:Sigh ..men!
dump him and get a cat or a dog!
i would be a bit upset of how you were close to another guy even if it was aprank allright. but i think it would last about half an hour or so..

he is bit calm now lol

Post by **Seaspirit** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 9:17 pm

MissCharmed7 wrote:

i did tell em im sorry i didnt know i was crossin a line

'YOU' get to determine what that line is.....! not him!

TheBlackDahlia · Post by **TheBlackDahlia** » Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:01 pm

Seaspirit wrote:
MissCharmed7 wrote:

i did tell em im sorry i didnt know i was crossin a line
'YOU' get to determine what that line is.....! not him!

I think they need to determine what the line is together. Relationships are a partnership, neither person should define huge game changers in the relationship alone, I think.

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:25 am

TheBlackDahlia wrote:
Seaspirit wrote:
MissCharmed7 wrote:

i did tell em im sorry i didnt know i was crossin a line
'YOU' get to determine what that line is.....! not him!
I think they need to determine what the line is together. Relationships are a partnership, neither person should define huge game changers in the relationship alone, I think.

i agree with you . and we have . we just didnt talk about it before

Post by **Traumwandlerin** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:56 am

And did he understand that because you never talked about your lines that you just assumed those lines wher the normal ones? So when you did this you thought you were totally on the safe side and not hurting him? So that he forgivs you cause you didn't know better?

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:23 am

Traumwandlerin wrote:And did he understand that because you never talked about your lines that you just assumed those lines wher the normal ones? So when you did this you thought you were totally on the safe side and not hurting him? So that he forgivs you cause you didn't know better?

lol he found it bit silly him reacting like that because we have been together for almost 8 years and we never rely discussed our relationshiop only cuz we r both free spirits if we do we would feel pressure so we let it go with the flow watever happens it will be .. so he apoligised for reacting that way and he knows i would never do anything bad. it was bit nice though to see him jealous first time i saw it lol , it kinda brought us more closer by him tellin me his feelings which is new and i love that we are at the place where we know how much we mean to eachother

Post by **Seaspirit** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:56 am

You should decide your own boundaries. No one decides your boundaries for you!

Once you decided your own boundaries, then you can let him know....and he either accepts them, or he does not. But bottom line, is deciding your own boundaries is up to you!

Post by **Traumwandlerin** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:05 pm

But those are his boundaries. Don't let this be confused. His feelings were hurt cause his line was crossed. You need to respect the boundaries of others and need to define and respect your boundaries. And then see that everyones are met.

So he isn't deciding boundaries for her, he was only telling what was crossing his personal line in a relationship.

Post by **Seaspirit** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:26 pm

She is not his mother. She gets to determine her own lines, her own boundaries! She can tell him, then he either accepts or doesn't.

She is young and free. She can do whatever she chooses to do! Not what 'he wants' her to do. It's up to 'her' what she does, not 'him'.

He is not in charge, he does not get to determine the 'lines'.
She has a will, a brain, a heart. And she decides her own life, her own actions, her own will, her own lines.

She did not 'break' any lines! Sounds like 'HE' thinks she broke 'his' line!! Ah...sorry....he doesn't get to draw the lines, for 'HER' to live by!!

Post by **MissCharmed7** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:07 pm

i agree with you Traumwandlerin. he would never decide anything for me . he is not that type to control a woman . i would prob feel the same away if the situation was turned around being woman we do tend to be sensitive about little things .there is no conflicts between us or drama . he knows iam not his mother lol . iam my own person and he is too . and when your in relationshiop respect goes both ways . its equal , two halfs becomes one

Post by **Traumwandlerin** » Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:00 pm

*g* as long as you understand what I was trying to say

Seaspirit, really, yo sound like you have never been in a non-abusing relationship. Everyone has his own lines and boundaries. He only says "I feel betrayed, when you decloth other men", like you would probably say "I feel betrayed, when you have sexual contact with another person". My partner says "I feel betrayed when you would kiss someone else", I say "I feel betrayed, when you have sex with another person without asking me first". We both love each other and respect those lines. It's about what you think is acceptable for your relationship, if you cannot fullfill this, then it's not the right relationship. It's still up to you to accept those lines or to go, but not accepting those lines is just constanly hurting your partner.

Maybe you want to have fun like this. That's ok, but you wouldn't fit with someone who wants you to be true in the way he thinks of. Some people are more exclusive like others. Some people don't feel the need to be "free as the wind" but rather prefer "bonding for life". And many other things in between and around. So just stop forcing your lines on others