My girls ex using my religion against me in custody hearing.

Post by **Ashe** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:31 am

Ok so the father of my girlfriends child is trying to get custody of their son. He has only been paying child support for less than a year and he doesnt really have anything he can use against her. A mutual friend of ours warned me months ago this was going to happen and that he was going to use the fact that i'm Wiccan against me with the backing of his church. Now its happening...these meddlesome christians dont even know anything about Wicca and dont think that the child should be exposed to it...how do i fight? Do I even need to? Will the judge throw something like that out. I dont make any decisions when it comes to the kid, nor do i practice with him around nor is he exposed to any of my beliefs or alter or anything. So not to sure how to procede...any help would be nice.

Post by **Greymalkin** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:14 am

I really can't see this being a problem unless the judge is a staunch christian, and even then he/she would have to prove they aren't acting out of personal prejudice.
What country are you in? Most western countries allow freedom of religious expression and can't use a person's religious convictions against them in a court of law.
In Britain we have the Pagan Federation who are very good at giving advice in things like this, it might be worth finding out if there's something similar where you live.

Post by **Greymalkin** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:16 am

It might also be worthwhile considering doing a spell to influence the judge in your favour.

When it's something as important as this, fluffy notions of not manipulating another person's will have to fly out the window in my opinion.

Post by **NightRose** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 10:15 am

The best way to proceed is by being very open about what Wicca really is. You need to make it clear that your religion does not endanger the child, and will not endanger the child in the future. You are a believer in a religion whose greater principle is "harm none", and the judge needs to know this. Also, make it clear that while your religion will be a small part of his life (you're going to teach him morals and guidelines by which to live his life, and you'll take those from your religion), you certainly won't force him to be Wiccan. It goes against all you believe in. And you will accept him, even if he decides to be christian (or Jewish or Muslim for that matter).

Actually, his rage might be something to use to your advantage. If he's so upset that you're Wiccan, what would he do if your son decided to be Wiccan?

I think you're probably okay on the fact that this is a guy who only recently has made any effort to support his child. Most courts aren't going to take a child away from it's mother to give him to a father who hasn't been very involved in a child's life. They might as well be giving the child to strangers if they did that!

I hope you have the best of luck in court.

Post by **Ashe** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:01 am

Thanks for the replies everyone

and what kind of spell are you thinking i should cast? I dont want to effect anyones free will.

Post by **Greymalkin** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 10:49 am

Ahh well, that's where it becomes a problem then.

Post by **Ashe** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 6:36 pm

So what would you suggest? Just go ahead and throw it out there lol i wont think less of you or take it any less seriously.

Post by **Greymalkin** » Sat Aug 22, 2009 8:58 pm

Well you could do what I call an 'open' spell where you ask for justice to prevail and the 'right' side is victorious.

Persoanlly if it were me in this situation I would try and find out as much as I could about the judge and get to work on him/her to see things your way.

I'd also get to work on your partner's ex and make sure he trips up at every turn, in fact, I'd get to work making his life a living hell.

But of course, you have to make your own choices.

Post by **Ashe** » Sun Aug 23, 2009 8:57 am

So like a binding spell? Altered for this purpoe ofcourse...not to sure where to start with that.

Post by **Greymalkin** » Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:49 am

Sure you do. I'm making assumptions here but you must know how magick works.
I'm not a fan of 'receipe' type spells. Making a spell work isn't like baking a cake. Just add a pinch of this to a cup of that and you can't go wrong.

Just because a certain spell works for one person doesn't mean it will have the same effect for somebody else.

Think about the situation you're in and think about how you would like the outcome to be and apply that to your knowledge of how magick works. Create your own spells, even if they don't follow the regular formula as laid down in so-called 'spell' books.

Your inner voice will tell you what to do once you've planted the problem in your subconcious.

Listen to it.

Post by **[Guardian Wolf]** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:35 pm

If you are in the United States, then you can retort the charge by reminding them that in Dettmer Vs. Landon that the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit held that Wicca was a religion, and that it is your first amendment right to practice it.

Also if you are in the US, what region are you in? If you are in California or any of the liberal states, you shouldn't have a problem. If you're in a midwest or southern state, you might.

Post by **hummingbird3** » Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:56 pm

let me just start by saying how sorry i am that you're going through this and what bullshit it is that in the year 2009 people are still so close minded.

i agree with the post above. their are some states in the midwest that are liberal such as iowa, but the south is full of close minded people. If you do lose custody then i would just appeal and appeal again until people realize that you're religion has nothing to do with your parenting skills.

Post by **Ashe** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 6:41 am

Thanks for the reference and encouragement! I thank you will all my heart.

Post by **Syndica** » Tue Nov 17, 2009 2:16 pm

hi honey,

don't worry he can't take ur child just because ur wiccan that's totaly wrong, everyone has a freedom to be a wiccan. from the sounds of he seems like a dirt bag. don't use spells agaist him that wont work in ur favor. just try to focus on posstive engeries sweety

things will be ok.

blessed be

Post by **Sastual Auxels** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:57 am

I think this whole thing is fudged. I believe they probly could take him from you for that but its completely wrong its against everything Wiccans believe in to force our faith unto a child its wrong and we dont do it but what I think you should do is try and streer away from the subject of your religion because unless the jury are wiccan they wouldn't care much for what the TRUTH is about us but more I would focus on stating how you keep the faith away from the child and how you allow him to go to church if he wills (which technically you arent saying he cant).
What I would do is to try not to go into the "good" our religion has but focus on how you keep it away from him even though it hurts for you to make out like you're keeping your faith from him to protect him, its still what the people would want to hear and in the end thats the only justice these days.