Paranoid during sex - Birth Control Issues

Post by **Starwitch** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 5:10 pm

Good point Lek. Don't trust the pull-out method. Even if the guy DID pull out (which is entirely possible to do actually), there is still pre-cum which dribbles out throughout sex and has plenty of sperm in it.

Post by **[scifichick]** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 6:05 pm

wrote:ScifiChick, I have considered IUDs, but I hear it can be painful and cause bad cramping for women who have never had children. Do you have kids already?

Yes, I do have one kid. My period when I had IUD was a little heavier than when I was on a pill, plus about two days longer. Other than that, I don't remember crapms being worse than they are now, when I am not on anything. But, I already had a child. It's just an option for someone who let's say is married and already has kids. IUDs are good for up to ten years now.

[Chaz] · Post by **[Chaz]** » Mon Sep 12, 2005 7:43 pm

The tubal really wasn't bad... recovery and pain wise... it was really expensive but my insurance covered all but $500 of it. If you are over 30 you can get a tubal kids or not. If you are under 25 it's three live births and your husbands "permission". (Not sure what happens in between 25 and 30.) I had a lot of health problems and the dr. finally agreed that it would be the best thing for me... so I slipped past that silly little rule. It was the best thing I could have done personally. I KNEW beyond a doubt I didn't want any more children and I wanted to be the one that was responsible for determining whether or not I had them. Having gone through a divorce I wasn't comfortable leaving it up to a man.

I'm not sorry that I had my children, though... I just would have opted for having them later in life. They are great kids and have brought lots of joy.

Post by **Starwitch** » Tue Sep 13, 2005 11:34 am

Right, I would almost rather have the tubal for that reason - so if I ended up divorced in the future, I would still be sterile and Ron wouldn't be stuck not being able to have kids. He would actually like to have more, but he is okay with not having any. I think he sees how nice life can be when you don't have those kinds of worries and stress. But I still don't want to condemn him to being sterilized when he isn't sure it is what he wants. So it probably won't happen at all, at least not until we are both much older and totally completely certain about the kid thing.

Post by **lek** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:45 am

interesting relevant link....

http://www.ocf.berkeley.edu/~issues/spr ... epill.html

Actually it's yesterday's news, but I'm not sure if anymore mentioned it. As a guy, I have to say as long as it's safe and won't make my guys fall off as a side effect....yeah, sure why not take it?

Post by **Starwitch** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 9:56 am

It's not available yet. My husband would take it though, if it were.

Post by **sheherazade** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:02 pm

ooh ouch...you know those little mistakes in nature when a baby really really wants to be born...i don't know HOW it happens but it does?imagine if your h had a vasectomy & it didn't take?
IMAGINEexplaining that to him????????????????????????eek eek eek.
anyway...methods that DON"t work.
breastfeeding(oh who made that up?not only was my 2nd conceived while exclusively breast feeding..so..i am told..was i!& there are women i know still breast feeding their 5 year olds thinking this is the answer)
pulling out....geez it's scary how many guys i know who still beleive this.
& now for a little joke
WHAT DO YOU CALL PEOPLE WHO USE THE RYTHYM METHOD?

answer:PARENTS!

[Dragonmaiden] · Post by **[Dragonmaiden]** » Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:25 pm

sheherazade wrote:imagine if your h had a vasectomy & it didn't take?

Believe it or not, I actually knew someone this happened to. He had a vasectomy, went back for his follow up appointment, there were a few spermies who weren't looking too healthy so the doc told him to come back again like 2 weeks later, no spermies this time, all was good to go. He & the wife resumed a normal sex life, 4 months later she misses a period and guess what? Can you say divorce court? She swore up and down that she had not cheated on him...well the baby was born before their divorce was final so her lawyer demanded a DNA test and guess what #2 - the baby was HIS. He went back to his doc and they did the test again and guess what #3 - his sperm count was almost normal. One of the tubes had grown back together. He stopped the divorce and filed a malpractise suit against the doctor and won. He also had the vasectomy re-done AND his wife had her tubes tied to boot. They were in counseling for a really long time but as far as I know, they're still together. True story.

BB

June

[Chaz] · Post by **[Chaz]** » Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:15 am

This has happened to a lady I worked with as well. Fortunatly, her husband went to the dr. before accusing her of cheating. She was really upset though... she had just turned 40 and absolutely did not want any more children. Being a sort of good catholic (I say sort of because they were using birth control... lol) she refused to have an abortion. She had a miscarriage at five months... which destroyed her emotionally all over again.

There is always a risk of the surgery being unsuccessful, even with tubals... sometimes they just grow back together and viola... or... and this is a scary one... happened to a friend of mine... there is a little legimant that runs right beside the tubes... sometimes that is cut on one side instead of the tube. My friend became pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption, then went back in to have her tubes re-done... that is when they discovered that the wrong thing was snipped. I would have been super pissed. Her surgeon (the second one) told her that this is fairly common. I can't tell you how many times my dr. has told me that I still have a chance of becoming pregnant even with a tubal... the more years that go by the less the chances are, since they apparently grow back together within the first three years if they are prone to do so. I'm going on 13 years so I'm probably out of the woods, but I still use protection. The last thing I need is two teenagers and a baby. *shiver*.

Arianna · Post by **Arianna** » Mon Feb 27, 2006 1:37 pm

It's really interesting to hear all these stories about surgeries, and having kids.

I really want kids in my future, but I know I can't right now (therefore, no sex for this chica!) Because I am only 21, and in college. IE... no cash whatsoever!

But then I watch something on TLC "Baby Story" and go... god... thats gotta hurt!! If I can't be doped up I don't wanna push a watermelon outta a keyhole! (As my friend put it at one point ^_^;)

As I've mentioned before, I've never had sex, and am wary about it as well. I still have nagging at the back of my mind from my Catholic days, where premarital is a sin and your going to burn for it.

But since I don't beleive in Hell, as a Wicca/Pagan, I shouldn't have that worry right? But as a Pagan, my beleif is to care for my body as if it were a temple, because in a way it is, it is the key focus for the powers I work, and such other things, and the Goddess and God would sure be pissed off if I traded my body around like it was worthless, since they apparently thought I was worth giving life to.

If you don't want to get pregnant, then don't do it. It's a poor way to treat your body to have sex with just anyone. Sure you might be dating a person, but you should know and trust this person with not only your life, but the life of anyone else that may just come along. There is so much to consider.

Ahh, time to get off the soap box. I shouldn't be talking since I've not had sex, but it is how I feel about it.

Post by **[Kristin]** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 8:07 am

Just reading through old posts and came across this one....the dilemma of birth control.
My niece got pregnant while on the pill...thus a third child. Her husband was not pleased....but she was in the 1% failure range.
I finally opted for having my tubes tied after my daughter was born. I nagged my husband about it for a long time that a vascectomy was in order here. It fell on deaf ears. You see, I had an emergency C-section when my Sarah was born and both of us almost died in the process. Scared the shit out of me. I vowed never to go through that again.
The end result.....my husband left me 3 years ago for a younger woman and they are parents. A long story.
Anyway, best protection for me is a combination of the pill and condoms. Plus, if you know when your ovulating days are that would help too. That way you can relax for the month and avoid the headaches.
An understanding partner is a MUST.
Wish my husband had turned out to be an understanding partner!!! But he was NOT.

Nackin · Post by **Nackin** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:30 pm

Coming from the standpoint of a single male, all that I can say is that I always use a condom unless I am in a committed monogamous relationship. But this is partially as a preventative for HIV. I've worked extensively with AIDS clients and more conscious of this than most. I think that it is fine to wear both belt and suspenders for pregancy. If you are paranoid about it when you are in your fertile period, I vote for oral sex. It provides for a change of pace and you can't get pregnant.

Post by **Ravenari** » Sat May 27, 2006 9:29 pm

Just an interesting story on tubal ligations, depending on the method they use, you can still get pregnant, and they are about as safe as a contraceptive pill - which means - like anything, it isn't foolsafe.

I will be having a tubal ligation as soon as I can afford it, when I'm over 25. I don't want children, and will have difficulty having them anyway because of uterine scarring. But like the contraceptive pill, I won't walk around thinking I'm 'sterile' until my eggs are completely removed!

Post by **Starwitch** » Sun May 28, 2006 10:46 pm

No children! Why, that's blasphemy in our world!

I'll email you so we can talk more about it if you want. I don't want kids either.

Post by **Moon_Stone** » Mon May 29, 2006 3:48 pm

Good point - and I never understood why it is some "requirement" for each human life to make babies. It's not even a matter of religion anymore, it seems there is just some need to have children.

-We're supposed to be the smartest species (however I have my own theory to disprove this)... but yet we make some of the most drastic mistakes that have become an issue of individual desires taking precedence over the health and well-being of our planet.

Ghaww, when I think of how selfish humans are as a species (generically and stereotypically)... :goblin: ......

~BB~

Everything Under the Moon

Paranoid during sex - Birth Control Issues

Ah yes, the birth control dilemma...