Unitarian Universalist

Eireayne · Post by **Eireayne** » Wed May 07, 2008 2:18 am

Does anyone here have any experience with the Unitarian Universalist congregational experience?

Short of joining a coven, I want to convene with some open-minded spiritual, moral folks in the spirit of fellowship and have looked into their program. They say on their website that about 19% of their membership would classify themselves as pagan. Our local congregation actually hosted a Beltane ritual, and they observe sabbats, equinoxes, full moons etc.... I'm intruigued.

My honey and I both come from Protestant backgrounds and I feel that we are about to hit a rough patch on the issue of religious dogma vs. spirituality. We need to find an officiant for our wedding and are being hit by the religious factions on both sides. (Everyone has a christian pastor in the family to suggest, and I'm not having that "I don't consider myself a christian" discussion with any family members period.) We need a third party who I can openly discuss my opinions with, without suffering family upheaval. No chance we are doing a handfasting (still in broom closet and not planning on coming out to Fam) A plain civil service would also raise eyebrows and suspision with our religious family members, so that's a no-go. My honey knows and accepts. So we need to do a non-denominational service (one that vaguely hints at tradition) and I'm thinking Unitarian. Maybe it'll come across as tradition with a twist, without compromising my personal beliefs.

Just looking for some feedback, hearsay, anything.

Post by **Heka** » Wed May 07, 2008 4:45 am

You could get handfasted (or anything) and not tell anyone.

My parents got hitched without telling anyone.

Post by **Makbawehuh** » Sat May 10, 2008 10:43 pm

Indeed. Another good church to consider is the Disciples of Christ. They tend to be very non-judgmental and open minded, in my experience, but they also have very few rules about how things are supposed to be laid out in a church, leaving most of the details to the individual pastor... So you might have to hunt around for a bit to find a church you like, with them.

Have you considered looking for a pastor in your area who's affiliated with the Universal Life Church? They're ordained, but their faith is their own... whatever that is. As friend of mine who's Asatru got himself ordinated through them so he could legally perform a close friend's wedding, and I've gone through them so that I could officiate at my sister's. I don't doubt that you could find someone affiliated with them who's able, and willing, to perform the ceremony with enough tradition to satisfy, without raising suspicion.

Post by **watershield** » Sun May 11, 2008 12:01 am

You say it look like rough waters coming.....and you're not interested in a christian wedding.

How does your honey feel. If he wants a christian wedding looks like you have a lot to discuss before any vows are taken.
And if he is only worried about family, why not go with it but write your own vows?

Eireayne · Post by **Eireayne** » Sun May 11, 2008 11:01 am

My honey and I have had long talks and he feels the same way that I do about walking the fine line between appealing to our parents traditional roots and incorporating our own earth-based spirituality. The rough waters would be when we tell our families that we are going to use a third party instead of an uncle, close family friend, or the family pastor.

M - We have been to a wedding where the officiant was ordained by the Universal life church. While I like the idea, We both are looking for something that has a congregation, youth and music programs so that our own children (in the future) will experience the fellowship of the church at the same they are being encouraged to explore their own spirituality. I shall look in the the disciples, I had not considered them before.

I tried to do the "let's just get civilly hitched, go into the forest, do our own thing just the two of us, and then return home for the pomp and circumstance that involves everyone else." We realized though, if our families found out it would have hurt them greatly, and so we've opted to try and maneuver the spiritual/religious waters in an effort to involve everyone in our committment.

Thanks for all of your thoughts! We are off to a Unitarian Universalist service in just a few moments and I'm excited to see how it goes.

frisbee · Post by **frisbee** » Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:22 am

This comment comes too late to advise about said wedding, but I will say I joined the UU church last summer. They're a pretty open-minded, accepting crowd, and spiritually diverse--many UUs are Pagans, as well as Buddhists, Christians (though they generally deny Jesus's divinity), agnostics and atheists, and everything in between. I attended the church's winter solstice ritual and enjoyed it very much. They tend to be pretty highly intellectual and philosophical in their "sermons," after which we have open discussions, at least in my fellowship. And they really emphasize ecology and social justice.

The UU denomination is small in numbers, but as far as progressive and accepting churches/organizations go, UU's about as good as it gets.

Eireayne · Post by **Eireayne** » Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:10 pm

We were hooked after our first UU trip. We're members now, and have been active in UUism for 3 years now. Love it. OUr wedding was exactly what we wanted, and our officiant allowed us to basically write it ourselves. None of the extended family even questioned it, so we felt like we were able to disperse our earth-based beliefs in a way that was not offputting to our more traditional christian family.

Our UU congregation is everything I ever dreamed of finding, and I have taken an active role in the community, even stepping slightly out of the broom closet and providing support for pagan flavored services and celebrations. Finding it has been one of the best experiences in my life, and my husband feels the same way.

Blessed Be,
Eireayne

Post by **miachrhys** » Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:31 pm

Part of my interest in Unitarian Universalism came from the fact that many of their churches are LGBT friendly. That was an important aspect for me to want to attend, in addition to my belief system being respected. I have attended an Earth-based group at my local UU church and am looking into officially becoming a member.

My local congregation is very relaxed and social justice oriented, which I also am in favor of. I'd love an update on the wedding and how it went if you happen to see this.

slithering_dragonfly · Thu Mar 21, 2013 11:56 pm

I've attended UU Churches off and on, and they are very liberal and open minded. I like them a lot. Do remember that they are not nondenominational; they are an actual denomination with beliefs. These beliefs are very open minded and very in line with most pagans, but it could cause a problem with officiating a wedding that you want to keep neutral for traditional families. We didn't use a UU officiant so I don't know for sure, but they might not be able to leave out some of their core tenants. You'd need to discuss that with them ahead of time to see if what they are willing to do is in line with what you want.

What we did for an officiant was found a minister who officiates weddings for a living. He lets you tailor the ceremony exactly how you like, be that entirely civil to any range of traditional. He was also very affordable. So I would highly recommend a service like that if its available in your area and if UU doesn't work out for you.

Wicce Lorrie · Post by **Wicce Lorrie** » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:12 pm

Eireayne wrote:We were hooked after our first UU trip. We're members now, and have been active in UUism for 3 years now. Love it. OUr wedding was exactly what we wanted, and our officiant allowed us to basically write it ourselves. None of the extended family even questioned it, so we felt like we were able to disperse our earth-based beliefs in a way that was not offputting to our more traditional christian family.

Our UU congregation is everything I ever dreamed of finding, and I have taken an active role in the community, even stepping slightly out of the broom closet and providing support for pagan flavored services and celebrations. Finding it has been one of the best experiences in my life, and my husband feels the same way.

Blessed Be,
Eireayne

I'm a UU member also. Did you know there is a pagan sub-group of UU? Called Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans or CUUPs. I am also a member, although the church I attend at this time do not have a CUUPs. Most UUs don't but many are in the UU churches throughout the US.

I plan on moving soon, so hopefully the next UU church I become a member of will have a CUUPs.

Post by **miachrhys** » Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:23 am

My UU church had an Earth-Based group and the members had not at that time made a choice to peruse membership into CUUPS. The leaders of the group called it WEBS based on the UU tenet of having respect for the interconnectedness through the web of life. The group was fun but I had to stop attending because I became ill. Now I have moved 2,000 miles away but it was the closest to a coven I have ever worked with.

Post by **Xiao Rong** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 9:41 am

This is an older topic, but I recently joined our local UU church, and I think they are absolutely wonderful. They're extremely welcoming to Pagans (my group's religious educator is another Pagan woman), and I've had a great time so far. My local Pagan circle is great too, and I'm very actively involved with them, but I wind up leading so many of the rituals that I don't have much opportunity to learn from others. It's very refreshing to have a weekly spiritual obligation where I can just show up, listen, and learn.

Post by **smogie_michele** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 10:09 am

Xiao, I'm glad yo revived this topic. I never knew of UU, but now I think I have something to look into.

Post by **Becks** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 1:29 pm

Very cool Xiao. I have a good friend who is also pagan and loves her UU church. I have not been myself, but the one I drive by here has great topics listed on their board, seems welcoming and if I were looking for that collective experience I would consider going for sure.

Post by **Firebird** » Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:06 pm

Our Coven used to present rituals at the local UU, there are actually 2 UU's in the area we held circle at.
You might look into CUUPS which is a congregation within the UU especially for pagans. Some of the churches have them some do not, it depends on how many pagans are attending any particular church to get together and form the group. The UU I attend now does not have a CUUPS chapter, however there are several pagans there and it may be time to rally!
Good luck! I have found the services to be most enjoyable, and I have time to ...like Xiao said...let someone else do the driving! I bring my crochet and just relax and listen.
Bb, Firebird

Everything Under the Moon