Torn

Post by **moonlit** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 10:14 am

My husband is a full blown Christian. (how my parents got to him and converted him that much I'll never know) The problem is that anytime something the least but "weird" happens around him he FREAKS out. I mean he just cant deal with it lol. I always use the excuse "hey you were warned about this stuff" lol The problem is that I have quit practicing so much because of it. But sence I stopped it's like I'm no longer happy. I'm almost depressed. I love him and I want to make him happy but should I have to give up what I believe because of this?? I'm just torn. It's like i have to hide it all the time.

moonlit

Post by **JBRaven** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:18 pm

making some one else happy should not hurt you emotionally or physically. Talk to him and tell him what is going on and how this is putting a damper on you ego and eventually your relationship with him. He should accept you for the pagan you are, if not maybe your relationship has more problems than religion and needs some perfessional help.

Post by **moonlit** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 3:19 pm

I know. Ive talked to him about how i felt and he wanted my to get counsiling from a preacher lol. He spazes out if we dont go to church 3 times a week.. this is exactly what i didnt want in life and somehow. he has just changed dramaticly. I mean I dont care if he likes church, i dont mind going with him sometimes for church but he is shoving it down my throat. he wants me to be as excited as him about it..I told him I am excited, but just over my own beliefs. Its like he doesnt get it. its like he got brainwashed all of a sudden or something. plus my family loves him of course.

moonlit

Post by **JBRaven** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:40 pm

First STOP going to church!!!! you are sending him mixed messages, Yeah hon I will go to your place of worship but won't convert? Maybe during those hours of church you can practice your magic. If he suggest going to a preacher for help ask him if he would feel comfortable going to a high priest(ess). Be firm and stable. If you send him mixed messages then you are setting yourself up for failure. If he pulls the IF YOU LOVED ME thing he is trying to weaken your resolve and you can not change your values and morales for anyone and expect them to respect you in the morning.

Post by **Ginger Faith!** » Sat Feb 13, 2010 10:26 pm

I would have to agree, with JB.
Stay strong!
PAGAN/WICCAN/whatever PRIDE!
hehehe, sorry, didnt know what you practicee(:
But, you get the picturee..

Post by **icebunny** » Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:02 am

Is your husband new to Christianity? If so, he's probably going to go through a honeymoon stage with his new religion. I remember how excited I was to start studying Wicca when I first found out what it was!

I also understand what it's like to have your significant other freak out about stuff. My boyfriend is afraid of my apartment because I have some local ghosties who hang out. I'm fine with them; we have an understanding and like a lot of the same tv shows in fact.

I think a really serious talk about respecting your religious differences is necessary. I wish you the best of luck - and stay strong for your beliefs or you will continue to be unfulfilled and it WILL affect your relationship.

Post by **moonlit** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:26 pm

I told him about what I belive and what I felt and it's like he is in some kind of freak denial or something. He keeps saying that if I belive that way then our mariage wont work. I said there is no reason for him to think that but if he feels that way then fine. I have tried not going to church but he created a huge arguement everytime and the people of the church even check up on me sence Jesse (my husband) has earned a pretty good place in the church. It's like I', trapped or something. I mean they are all nice but they need to mind there own buisness. Jesse even volunleered me to be the nursery directer of the church!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like everyone is against me because everyone I know is slowly falling into this path. they say wicca is a cult but they should look at themselves! I mean aren't they the ones that stole our holidays? lol. he just gets so bummed out and upset when i dont go along with him. I told him that he should care about what I want too. I just dont understand how he got sucked into this

moonlit

Post by **Earth Ritual** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 5:55 pm

Moonlit, affirm to yourself this situation will work in your favor. Remember, if you want your marriage to work it will work, if you don't want it to work, then it wont. So know your intent. Remember, you're in the power position. They have their cult and their culture, but you have the spirit of nature and those that stay true to their own nature will always be victorious over the believers.

Post by **Sallydreams** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:14 am

JBRaven wrote:First STOP going to church!!!! you are sending him mixed messages, Yeah hon I will go to your place of worship but won't convert? Maybe during those hours of church you can practice your magic. If he suggest going to a preacher for help ask him if he would feel comfortable going to a high priest(ess). Be firm and stable. If you send him mixed messages then you are setting yourself up for failure. If he pulls the IF YOU LOVED ME thing he is trying to weaken your resolve and you can not change your values and morales for anyone and expect them to respect you in the morning.

This is superb advice.

And I'd say you try to find a hollowed ground. Tell him that if he is letting his religion define your relationship with each other, maybe he should evaluate how he loves you. Maybe you could agree to disagree and be adults? Don't discuss religion anymore, tell him you'll ONLY go to church for special occassions if you're up to it... but otherwise, YOU know what YOU want and it's NOT going to change.

Hopefully, his love for you will win over his sudden claim-to-jesus.

Did he always know that you were Wiccan or did it just come up when he wanted you to be Christian?

Post by **moonlit** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 2:27 pm

He knew my beliefs when we were together, before we were married. i told him all about my parents and how they were and then i told him what I belived. My belifs are more eclectic more than wiccan so i explained exactly that. I even told him that My cousin and best friend followed this path with me. I just didn't think it would go this far but it has. and now he is pulling this whole "you are my wife and I'm the leader of the home and you are soposed to submit to me" crap. I really love this man but it's driving me insane.

moonlit

Post by **Sallydreams** » Fri Apr 02, 2010 7:26 am

Oooo Helllll nooooo.

He's your HUSBAND... PARTNER... not FATHER or KEEPER!

I'm sorry, the feminist is coming out in me...

But that crap shouldn't fly. Seriously. Screw that crap.

No wonder he likes the idea of christianity, it really is all about being a shovenist pig and men getting anything they want handed to them by a woman.

You need to tell him that you two have been together longer than he has been religious, so that should be the basis... not religion. ESPECIALLY since he knew about your beliefs BEFORE you two even got married.

I'm angry now on your behave.

Post by **moonlit** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:13 pm

yea..........now you see lol. I talked to him again because he brought up the subject when a friend of mine asked why he forced me to go to church lol. He said he didn't want to be blamed for anything so I didn't have to go if I didn't want to go...but he really wants me to go and he "cant predict how well my parents will react to it or the pastor/people of the church" so in other words they are going to hound me constantly about it. He already brought up the music I listen to and made it out to be all "sinful" to my parents. I got a freaking lecture about that. Im 26 freaking years old. I can do what I want. No offence to Christianity, but are they all this controling??? I told him all he is doing is pushing me away.

He might want to be a preacher........im going to die

moonlit

Post by **WitchyLady506** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:04 pm

I'd be childish about it and tell him that yeah, your music is sinful, but he's married to such a sinful person, so what does that make him, besides a hypocrite?

Actually it may go very badly if you do that, though I would imagine it's a nice thing to think about, maybe give yourself a giggle^_^

You need to talk to him and have him understand that you are your own person. You have done many hours of soul searching, you have done everything he has, only what you did lead you to your beliefs not Jesus. You could also tell him about how God talks to all of us in his own way and he doesn't have the right to tell you whether it's wrong or not. Hopefully he will start to understand that you two have different beliefs and need to respect each other for that, as it's very much a part of who you are. He needs to be understanding and supportive to you as you are to him.

solexowenus · Post by **solexowenus** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:27 am

If she suggests going to help the preacher asked him if he would feel comfortable going to the high priest (ESS). To be stable and firm. If you are sending mixed messages as she aims for failure. If he pulls if you love me what is trying to weaken your resolve and you can not change the values and Morales and everyone expects them to meet in the morning.