Nice, Funny, and Cool
Emails I've Received from Visitors (Thanks!)
I want to thank everyone who has written me nice emails
over the last few years. I probably won't be able to post them all here,
simply because that's a lot of work and I'm sure many of them have been
deleted. But I figured, why should only the
dumb emails get their own page?
There are some really sweet and intelligent pagans out there who have
written me great emails.
I can also use this page to link to other pages on my site
using the keyword in these people's emails (which is good for search
engine rankings). So just so you are aware, all
the links are links that I added. They were not in the original emails.
Red text are notes from me. Here are some of the wonderful emails I've
received, for your reading
You can also read my Questions
and Answers page, which has many other emails I've received, plus the
answers I gave to them. These are mostly emails asking for help or advice.
Every time I talk to you it reaffirms my decision that this is the right path for me.
I'm really happy to have found you and your site.
My father was Native American and it has felt right to believe that there is a Great Spirit and Mother Earth instead of a single male GOD. Even as a child, I had the right path set before me.
. . . .I just was not opened to it yet.
The feeling I got when I first found your site was intense and amazing. It was like watching a small hole fill with water from a waterfall
. . . . the RUSH!! Hell, I still get that feeling on a
smaller scale every time I'm on your site. The Goddess is what's right.
. . I know this.
I really love talking to you and wish I could meet you and Ron sometime,
but for now this way of corresponding is good.
Thanks for listening and as always. . . Bright Blessings.
I just wanted to drop by and say "your website is f-ing hilarious" believe
me I am so lazy that I normally wouldn't even write an email because it
takes too long but I had to let you know that. I wasn't looking for it or
anything but I was searching something and I accidentally got there and I
kept reading and I just about pissed my pants. It's good to know that
there's someone out there that's 28 and has that kind of sense of humor.
Yes, 28 right? I was paying attention. Anyways keep it up you silly girl
(in a good way).
Here's a funny one, obviously
someone who is intentionally writing an email to try to get on the dumb
emails page. It was too obvious, but it made me laugh.
Hello Starwitch. I was wondering... Do you have a
spell to make me
super sexy? like in a day? because i want to be the sexiest person on
earth. and I was wondering if you have a spell to make me rich and famous.
I don't wanna mess with candles and stuff just a spell. I've noticed
spells are like poems huh...they like rhyme. so have you ever met a real
witch? and if so what was it like? was she like all scary? were you
scared? did she scare you? were you so scared you wanted to run? was it
scary? oh well so I was also wondering do you have a spell to make me
sexy? thanx write back and have a super duper day.
P.S. I think your
looks awesome but they look big oh well bye. (That
picture of me with huge boobs used to be on my About Me page. Obviously
it was Photoshopped.)
Hello, I just wanted to say I'm really enjoying your page
so far (All 1 pages I've clicked on >.>; ) and that I adore your
stupid letters page. I've gotten
my fair share of stupid letters (And sadly, when I was younger, sent more
than my fair share.) but they've never been quite as stupid as the "I'm in
collage, do i need my parent's permission?" and the "Got a condom spell?"
(I like to paraphrase far too much..) I have to say though, they amuse me
as much as (If not more than) reading flamers and their petty reasons to 'why
Thank you for reading my E-mail and I hope I didn't come out sounding like
a moron. (I must admit, getting onto a 'stupidest
emails' list is not my idea of a wonderful accomplishment. ^_^ ) Well,
I should get back to reading your site. ^_^
Greetings Starwitch! I just want to say that I really love
your site, and thank you so much for taking the time to maintain it. By
the way, the vacation page was
hilarious! Your sense of humor is so incredibly amusing, and I haven't
stopped smiling since I found this site. I also enjoyed the
dumb e-mails page. I have
noticed you are a very witty, sarcastic person (it's hard not to
notice)... and I love it! Well thanks again for a great website with
enlightening, positive spells. One last
thing I'd like to add though... to all the children or uneducated people
in general who send poor Starwitch e-mails, just keep in mind that
something you do as a hobby or to "make
wishes" or "get what ever you want". You have to have an open mind and
a pure heart in order to achieve any of the
spells in the first
place. Good luck to everyone!
Hi Starwitch, I'm e mailing you from Australia i was just
searching on line for a
weight loss spell and came across your website, I read some of the
stupid emails that people have
sent you, I have to say you've really lifted my mood and cheered me up you
have a very witty sense of humour, SARCASTIC, BUT WITTY. anyway just
wanted to say thanks you took my mind off my ever expanding rear!
I'll definitely be visiting your website again.
love light and blessings A XXX
I cant remember how I found your page but, it's very awesome.
I stumbled across the dumb emails
that were sent to you. I must say, WOW. I don't think I have laughed that
hard for a while. Sometimes people should think before they type, read
over, and send you these emails. ( And they do in fact have the chance to
think about it... but obviously don't, since they're too busy wondering if
they're old enough to join a
message board, and wishing they could get a spoonful of Cheerios in
their mouth like Matilda.)
Yes, this is a sympathetic email, and I don't know how you don't just blow
up at them (I'm sure I would). Honestly if I could get 3 wishes and get 12
then wish for 50, I would ask for common sense for them all, and a
bottle of Aspirin for your troubles.
First of all, I just want to say that you are stinkin'
HILARIOUS. That said, I'll move on now.
I stumbled into your website on accident looking for random forwards (GOOD
ones, mind you). I LOVE the "Stupid
Forwards" page. FINALLY, someone who agrees with me! YAY!
Anyway, I've always been interested in witches, so I looked around your
site. What do you have against christians, anyway? I'm a member of the LDS
church (a.k.a. "mormons" and don't worry, I'm not going to start preaching
to you) and some of the things that you say are really offensive. I know,
I know, "free country" and all...I just really want to know why
you seem to hate us (or our beliefs).
P.S. I would've e-mailed you, but I couldn't find your e-mail address. I'm
probably just blind, but ah well.
Hi Jess, I just wanted to tell you
that I agree with you that my views on religion, especially Christianity,
were offensive, especially to people who follow patriarchal religions that
promote the belief that men are superior to women (Oh I know, your
church doesn't believe that, right? But your church does believe in the
infallibility of the Bible, AND the Bible DOES SAY that men are superior
to women. So even though most Christians INSIST that they don't believe
this and that their church doesn't promote this idea, they are totally
contradicting themselves since they do in fact follow a religion that
believes that men are superior to women. Is the Bible the "word of God"
or isn't it? And does the Bible not say that women should submit to men
and that men, not women, are made in the image of God? I personally
believe that that is crap that was written by males.
If you want to read all of the
SEXIST scriptures from the New Testament, click
Love and light,
Hi Starwitch, I love your website. I just found it tonight &
can't wait to try some of the spells; also, your
nicks page rocks, I'm a big fan of hers too. I got a big kick out of
the "dumb e-mails" section too.
Again, love the site & keep it up!
Not sure if you remember me? My name is Tamara and I wrote to you in June
about my website
www.vintageglider.com asking you about advice as to what I needed to
know about SEO info to make my site work. Well, after much research from
your hints I am emailing to thank you again as I have made my site number
one (in my keyword categories) on MSN search and yahoo as well as many
other small engines. Working on conquering Google as I type. Thanks again
for being so kind when you didn't have to be.
Old Metal Vintage
Porch Gliders (added by Starwitch)
Wow, Tamara! You now rank #1 in
Google for metal gliders and
vintage gliders and #2 for
porch gliders! That is so
awesome! I'm glad we became friends. You are such a cool person. Hey,
maybe I should get a glider from you. I was thinking about buying one from
the furniture store but I really prefer to buy used and antique furniture,
not only because it's better quality and more decorative, but also because
I don't like using new products when I don't have to since it uses up our
natural resources. The more old stuff I can buy, the less of it is going
to be taking up space in our landfills. So a
vintage porch glider would be
perfect for me! (Hey, how 'bout all those links I just snuck in? lol)
Good luck to you!! Keep in touch!
I just finished reading your ''poems from ron'' page and I'm wondering two
#1- can you give me a spell to make me a duplicate of your
loving husband? and if not...
#2- does he have a brother?
hi...this is Gina, 'the discover lady" (this is
the customer service lady I spoke to when I called the Discover Card
company) ...I absolutely loved BOTH of your
pages, and i am seriously considering having you
daughters horse page. she is only 10, so it would have to be under my
guidance and all that, but i told her all about you, and showed her your
pages, and she is chomping at the bit (no pun intended) to have you do a
page for her.
I'll be in touch, Starwitch..
Great site. I was roaring when I read your "stupid
emails". I LOVE the one where she believes your
exotic vacations (which are hilarious!)
are real! We have a brick and mortar and a web catalog and get many
similar emails. People believe that anything on the internet and in emails
are true. I just got one the other day addressed to artist Amy Brown
asking if she made each card and figurine by hand. Yep, you bet, Amy has
time for all that, and to run my store too!
Another favorite was a girl who wanted a spell for more "time". She did
not have time for job interviews because she was busy doing
money spells so she needed more "time".
Next Millennium Omaha, NE
Just wanted to say thank you, I found your page of
spells Via Google, there are quite a few
here which i will find useful, so thank you thank you thank you so very
very much for making your spells publicly available, so many sites demand
money in exchange for spells, and that is not what magic is about..
once again, thank you for having a good kind sharing spirit, may you live
a blessed life.
I like your site. My husband and I have had multiple
miscarriages and doctors couldn't give us a reason why. I decided to try
some of your spells for preventing miscarriage and helping to conceive a
healthy baby. Me and my husband are expecting a healthy baby boy soon and
have been having no problems during this pregnancy (I'm almost 7 months)
Thank you the spells helped.
I tried the 'Finding Lost Objects' spell as a true
beginner to find my glasses with had been missing for months and I had
searched EVERYWHERE. Anyways, the next afternoon after I had done the spell
I did a double take and there they were! The weird part is, I had already
looked in that spot several times and they weren't there before my
spell...I thank you for the freebie spell.
Just to say appreciate all the amazing wonderful hard work you put into
your site & these newsletters and wow the knot spell came at the PERFECT
time! I need it at the moment!
I just wanted to thank you for posting those ridiculous e-mails. I really
needed a good laugh tonight, and you were kind enough to provide it for
I am one of those people who is reading everything she can about
witchcraft to decide if it is right for me, and vice-versa. When I was
young (and stupid), I got involved with some dark stuff that worked, but
the price I paid was not worth it. Anyway, I'm older and wiser now. The
things I do are very small, I only ask for what I need, and the powers
that be are very kind. (Maybe because I treat them with the utmost love
and respect-and I don't ask them to turn back time for me or teach me how
Just wanted to let you know that some of us out there really do have
respect for people like you, who like to share information and try to make
the world a better place. Please keep doing what you're doing. I
appreciate your work.
Thank you for your time.
I love your site, I feel good just being here, I wish you
the best in keeping it online without ...Spam..Bashers...they don't know
what they are missing! Mary
I like the spells and the invisibility
spell worked for me.
I love your site-it's very good. Don't know how much value
spells truly have, but positive energy from this site was hard not to feel
and the content realy helped me with my writing and inspired me a lot! All
the best, stay positive!
What can i say? I LOVE YOUR WEBPAGES! I think your fab!
reading your advice pages and the women with the baby things are dumb!
obviously you are talking about not performing hardcore spells like
etc whilst pregnant, but come on, holding a few stones ain't gonna cause
harm! lol! I will take your advice and listen to it! stupid people!
again I really do love your web pages. thanks to you I have managed to
up the guy I was seeing and his girlfriend. we are now engaged and
our own little family of witches! I even managed to 'convert' him from
catholic to witchcraft! cheers. keep up the good work!
and then, in reply to the email I
sent back to her saying I felt a bit evil for helping do all that with my
cheers for the reply - it makes a change! you shouldn't
feel evil, you
should feel good about yourself like I do! if it wasn't for me he would
still be in church with the parents and the 'girlfriend' every day for
wasting time! haha. now who's the evil one! lol. thank you for your luck
keep up the great website! I'm always referring to it! it's like my online
I found your site per chance when I first became interested in becoming a
witch! I was kinda up in the air until I read through your site. I have to
say its the best one I've seen and funny as hell! I love your funny stuff
page-freakin hilarious! I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair! I
also love your ramblings and I am sorry you feel you have lost some of
your wit over the years but I think you are still extremely witty
nonetheless! Keep up the great work and I hope you add to your ramblings
again, I love your insights to life. Even though I don't know you I think
if I did I'd say you were one of the coolest people I ever met! Oh and I
love the Stevie Nicks page-very nice!
Keep up the great work!
Well, that's enough of the old emails.
I might post new ones as I receive them.