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Nice, Funny, and Cool Emails I've Received from Visitors (Thanks!)


I want to thank everyone who has written me nice emails over the last few years. I probably won't be able to post them all here, simply because that's a lot of work and I'm sure many of them have been deleted. But I figured, why should only the dumb emails get their own page? There are some really sweet and intelligent pagans out there who have written me great emails.

I can also use this page to link to other pages on my site using the keyword in these people's emails (which is good for search engine rankings). So just so you are aware, all the links are links that I added. They were not in the original emails. Red text are notes from me. Here are some of the wonderful emails I've received, for your reading pleasure:

You can also read my Questions and Answers page, which has many other emails I've received, plus the answers I gave to them. These are mostly emails asking for help or advice.

Dear Starwitch,

Every time I talk to you it reaffirms my decision that this is the right path for me. I'm really happy to have found you and your site.

My father was Native American and it has felt right to believe that there is a Great Spirit and Mother Earth instead of a single male GOD. Even as a child, I had the right path set before me. . . . .I just was not opened to it yet.

The feeling I got when I first found your site was intense and amazing. It was like watching a small hole fill with water from a waterfall . . . . the RUSH!! Hell, I still get that feeling on a smaller scale every time I'm on your site. The Goddess is what's right. . . I know this.

I really love talking to you and wish I could meet you and Ron sometime, but for now this way of corresponding is good.

Thanks for listening and as always. . . Bright Blessings.

Joe W.


I just wanted to drop by and say "your website is f-ing hilarious" believe me I am so lazy that I normally wouldn't even write an email because it takes too long but I had to let you know that. I wasn't looking for it or anything but I was searching something and I accidentally got there and I kept reading and I just about pissed my pants. It's good to know that there's someone out there that's 28 and has that kind of sense of humor. Yes, 28 right? I was paying attention. Anyways keep it up you silly girl (in a good way).

toodle loo
ang :)

Here's a funny one, obviously someone who is intentionally writing an email to try to get on the dumb emails page. It was too obvious, but it made me laugh.

Hello Starwitch. I was wondering... Do you have a spell to make me super sexy? like in a day? because i want to be the sexiest person on earth. and I was wondering if you have a spell to make me rich and famous. I don't wanna mess with candles and stuff just a spell. I've noticed spells are like poems huh...they like rhyme. so have you ever met a real witch? and if so what was it like? was she like all scary? were you scared? did she scare you? were you so scared you wanted to run? was it scary? oh well so I was also wondering do you have a spell to make me super sexy? thanx write back and have a super duper day.

P.S. I think your boob job looks awesome but they look big oh well bye. (That picture of me with huge boobs used to be on my About Me page. Obviously it was Photoshopped.)

Hello, I just wanted to say I'm really enjoying your page so far (All 1 pages I've clicked on >.>; ) and that I adore your stupid letters page. I've gotten my fair share of stupid letters (And sadly, when I was younger, sent more than my fair share.) but they've never been quite as stupid as the "I'm in collage, do i need my parent's permission?" and the "Got a condom spell?" (I like to paraphrase far too much..) I have to say though, they amuse me as much as (If not more than) reading flamers and their petty reasons to 'why you're stupid.'

Thank you for reading my E-mail and I hope I didn't come out sounding like a moron. (I must admit, getting onto a 'stupidest emails' list is not my idea of a wonderful accomplishment. ^_^ ) Well, I should get back to reading your site. ^_^

Ja Ne,

Greetings Starwitch! I just want to say that I really love your site, and thank you so much for taking the time to maintain it. By the way, the vacation page was hilarious! Your sense of humor is so incredibly amusing, and I haven't stopped smiling since I found this site. I also enjoyed the dumb e-mails page. I have noticed you are a very witty, sarcastic person (it's hard not to notice)... and I love it! Well thanks again for a great website with enlightening, positive spells. One last thing I'd like to add though... to all the children or uneducated people in general who send poor Starwitch e-mails, just keep in mind that witchcraft isn't something you do as a hobby or to "make wishes" or "get what ever you want". You have to have an open mind and a pure heart in order to achieve any of the spells in the first place. Good luck to everyone!


Hi Starwitch, I'm e mailing you from Australia i was just searching on line for a weight loss spell and came across your website, I read some of the stupid emails that people have sent you, I have to say you've really lifted my mood and cheered me up you have a very witty sense of humour, SARCASTIC, BUT WITTY. anyway just wanted to say thanks you took my mind off my ever expanding rear!
I'll definitely be visiting your website again.
love light and blessings A XXX

I cant remember how I found your page but, it's very awesome.
I stumbled across the dumb emails that were sent to you. I must say, WOW. I don't think I have laughed that hard for a while. Sometimes people should think before they type, read over, and send you these emails. ( And they do in fact have the chance to think about it... but obviously don't, since they're too busy wondering if they're old enough to join a message board, and wishing they could get a spoonful of Cheerios in their mouth like Matilda.)

Yes, this is a sympathetic email, and I don't know how you don't just blow up at them (I'm sure I would). Honestly if I could get 3 wishes and get 12 then wish for 50, I would ask for common sense for them all, and a bottle of Aspirin for your troubles.


First of all, I just want to say that you are stinkin' HILARIOUS. That said, I'll move on now.
I stumbled into your website on accident looking for random forwards (GOOD ones, mind you). I LOVE the "Stupid Forwards" page. FINALLY, someone who agrees with me! YAY!
Anyway, I've always been interested in witches, so I looked around your site. What do you have against christians, anyway? I'm a member of the LDS church (a.k.a. "mormons" and don't worry, I'm not going to start preaching to you) and some of the things that you say are really offensive. I know, I know, "free country" and all...I just really want to know why you seem to hate us (or our beliefs).

P.S. I would've e-mailed you, but I couldn't find your e-mail address. I'm probably just blind, but ah well.


Hi Jess, I just wanted to tell you that I agree with you that my views on religion, especially Christianity, were offensive, especially to people who follow patriarchal religions that promote the belief that men are superior to women (Oh I know, your church doesn't believe that, right? But your church does believe in the infallibility of the Bible, AND the Bible DOES SAY that men are superior to women. So even though most Christians INSIST that they don't believe this and that their church doesn't promote this idea, they are totally contradicting themselves since they do in fact follow a religion that believes that men are superior to women. Is the Bible the "word of God" or isn't it? And does the Bible not say that women should submit to men and that men, not women, are made in the image of God? I personally believe that that is crap that was written by males.

If you want to read all of the SEXIST scriptures from the New Testament, click here.

Love and light,

Hi Starwitch, I love your website. I just found it tonight & can't wait to try some of the spells; also, your stevie nicks page rocks, I'm a big fan of hers too. I got a big kick out of the "dumb e-mails" section too. Again, love the site & keep it up!

Ellen B.


Not sure if you remember me? My name is Tamara and I wrote to you in June about my website www.vintageglider.com asking you about advice as to what I needed to know about SEO info to make my site work. Well, after much research from your hints I am emailing to thank you again as I have made my site number one (in my keyword categories) on MSN search and yahoo as well as many other small engines. Working on conquering Google as I type. Thanks again for being so kind when you didn't have to be.

Merry Meet,
Old Metal Vintage Porch Gliders (added by Starwitch)

Wow, Tamara! You now rank #1 in Google for metal gliders and vintage gliders and #2 for porch gliders! That is so awesome! I'm glad we became friends. You are such a cool person. Hey, maybe I should get a glider from you. I was thinking about buying one from the furniture store but I really prefer to buy used and antique furniture, not only because it's better quality and more decorative, but also because I don't like using new products when I don't have to since it uses up our natural resources. The more old stuff I can buy, the less of it is going to be taking up space in our landfills. So a vintage porch glider would be perfect for me! (Hey, how 'bout all those links I just snuck in? lol)

Good luck to you!! Keep in touch!

Bright Blessings,

Dear Starwitch:

I just finished reading your ''poems from ron'' page and I'm wondering two things.

#1- can you give me a spell to make me a duplicate of your loving husband? and if not...
#2- does he have a brother?


hi...this is Gina, 'the discover lady" (this is the customer service lady I spoke to when I called the Discover Card company) ...I absolutely loved BOTH of your pages, and i am seriously considering having you host my daughters horse page. she is only 10, so it would have to be under my guidance and all that, but i told her all about you, and showed her your pages, and she is chomping at the bit (no pun intended) to have you do a page for her.

I'll be in touch, Starwitch..


Great site. I was roaring when I read your "stupid emails". I LOVE the one where she believes your exotic vacations (which are hilarious!) are real! We have a brick and mortar and a web catalog and get many similar emails. People believe that anything on the internet and in emails are true. I just got one the other day addressed to artist Amy Brown asking if she made each card and figurine by hand. Yep, you bet, Amy has time for all that, and to run my store too!

Another favorite was a girl who wanted a spell for more "time". She did not have time for job interviews because she was busy doing money spells so she needed more "time".

Take Care,
Next Millennium Omaha, NE

Just wanted to say thank you, I found your page of spells Via Google, there are quite a few here which i will find useful, so thank you thank you thank you so very very much for making your spells publicly available, so many sites demand money in exchange for spells, and that is not what magic is about..

once again, thank you for having a good kind sharing spirit, may you live a blessed life.


I like your site. My husband and I have had multiple miscarriages and doctors couldn't give us a reason why. I decided to try some of your spells for preventing miscarriage and helping to conceive a healthy baby. Me and my husband are expecting a healthy baby boy soon and have been having no problems during this pregnancy (I'm almost 7 months) Thank you the spells helped.

I tried the 'Finding Lost Objects' spell as a true beginner to find my glasses with had been missing for months and I had searched EVERYWHERE. Anyways, the next afternoon after I had done the spell I did a double take and there they were! The weird part is, I had already looked in that spot several times and they weren't there before my spell...I thank you for the freebie spell.

Hi Starwitch!
Just to say appreciate all the amazing wonderful hard work you put into your site & these newsletters and wow the knot spell came at the PERFECT time! I need it at the moment!
Blessed be!

Dear Starwitch,

I just wanted to thank you for posting those ridiculous e-mails. I really needed a good laugh tonight, and you were kind enough to provide it for me.

I am one of those people who is reading everything she can about witchcraft to decide if it is right for me, and vice-versa. When I was young (and stupid), I got involved with some dark stuff that worked, but the price I paid was not worth it. Anyway, I'm older and wiser now. The things I do are very small, I only ask for what I need, and the powers that be are very kind. (Maybe because I treat them with the utmost love and respect-and I don't ask them to turn back time for me or teach me how to fly.)

Just wanted to let you know that some of us out there really do have respect for people like you, who like to share information and try to make the world a better place. Please keep doing what you're doing. I appreciate your work.

Thank you for your time.



I love your site, I feel good just being here, I wish you the best in keeping it online without ...Spam..Bashers...they don't know what they are missing! Mary

I like the spells and the invisibility spell worked for me.

I love your site-it's very good. Don't know how much value spells truly have, but positive energy from this site was hard not to feel and the content realy helped me with my writing and inspired me a lot! All the best, stay positive!

What can i say? I LOVE YOUR WEBPAGES! I think your fab! just been
reading your advice pages and the women with the baby things are dumb!
obviously you are talking about not performing hardcore spells like binding
etc whilst pregnant, but come on, holding a few stones ain't gonna cause any
harm! lol! I will take your advice and listen to it! stupid people! anyway,
again I really do love your web pages. thanks to you I have managed to split
up the guy I was seeing and his girlfriend. we are now engaged and planning
our own little family of witches! I even managed to 'convert' him from
catholic to witchcraft! cheers. keep up the good work!

and then, in reply to the email I sent back to her saying I felt a bit evil for helping do all that with my site...

cheers for the reply - it makes a change! you shouldn't feel evil, you
should feel good about yourself like I do! if it wasn't for me he would
still be in church with the parents and the 'girlfriend' every day for mass
wasting time! haha. now who's the evil one! lol. thank you for your luck and
keep up the great website! I'm always referring to it! it's like my online

Hi Starwitch,
I found your site per chance when I first became interested in becoming a witch! I was kinda up in the air until I read through your site. I have to say its the best one I've seen and funny as hell! I love your funny stuff page-freakin hilarious! I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair! I also love your ramblings and I am sorry you feel you have lost some of your wit over the years but I think you are still extremely witty nonetheless! Keep up the great work and I hope you add to your ramblings again, I love your insights to life. Even though I don't know you I think if I did I'd say you were one of the coolest people I ever met! Oh and I love the Stevie Nicks page-very nice!
Keep up the great work!

Well, that's enough of the old emails. I might post new ones as I receive them.

Love Spells


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