Everything Under the Moon

Hi Everyone,

This month will be two years without my beloved Walter James (Wally), he was my only boy Yorkshire Terrier. He died shortly after his sister passed away at 13 years old. I ask this question because I constantly think of him more than my girl dogs. Let me tell you the back story. We weren't originally going to get him. We were only going to get his sister Sabrina Elise. The lady we went and got them from in Kentucky was the same we had got our rescue dog who was also a Yorkshire Terrier. Anyway, the lady suggested that we get a second pup to take with us so Sabrina wouldn't be alone. Mom and I thought that would be a good idea. I decided to choose, but Wally came sauntering up to me and chose me. The lady (her name was Bobbie and unfortunately passed away) told us that a boy dog's love is different. I can't remember how my mom told me how she said it. But I feel like I can't get over Wally's death. I wasn't there for him when he was euthanized, however, I was there for my girls. We had Lily (one of our newer girl dogs) and she was a puppy at the time. I had to stay with her. I just feel so guilty because I am stuck on his death and have got over the girls death. Not to say I don't miss them and don't mourn their deaths every year. I just can't seem to get over Wally's death for some reason. Am I a bad person?

I think if this is the only sin that plagues your conscience, then you are definitely a lot better off than most of us.

That said, I think that you can still care about people even though you don't mourn for them. The same is true of animals. You shouldn't force yourself to feel one way or the other about death, or life for that matter.

Thanks. I've just felt very doubtful of myself lately. It's been hard.

I think we can mourn differently for different beings. Sometimes we have a strong soul connection with others and animals and those may be the hardest. Even though we may have really loved the others too. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. And grief is probably one of the most complex and hardest emotional reaction to have. Some are embarrassed to grieve in front of others, while some have no problem with it. Or we burst into tears at the most inappropriate moment. But I believe it is only the evolution of people that make it feel inappropriate. It is never inappropriate. Our feelings are our feelings. If emotions become too much and it interferes with your life, then maybe seek help to manage it so when grief does strike, it won't take you out and suck your energy for days at a time.
Be good to yourself, feeling guilty is self-sabotaging and that only makes it worse. Wally lives in you. Keep his memory green.
My condolences, Firebird

Thank you Firebird. I was just wondering if maybe I was strange or something.

Hugs,
I think we are all strange, eh? It's what makes us unique. We can embrace the fact that if and uncomfortable feeling is being had, some-one else has had it too. I imagine the challenge is to not let it undermine your confidences...And there-in we have magick to help us when in need!

Thanks Firebird. I had never thought about it like that before. I appreciate it.