Old Member, New Intro
Posted: Thu Dec 08, 2022 10:24 am
Hey everyone! I'm not necessarily new around here but I've been gone for a while and so much has changed for me that I thought I'd do a new intro to try and connect (and re-connect) with some people here for inspiration and to reignite my presence.
I don't have great terms to define my spirituality. Eclectic would probably fit best. I was raised as a Christian and in my 20s I had a series of metaphysical experiences that sent me on a quest to learn more about them. I found this forum sometime back around 2012-2013 and I learned a LOT! But, try as I might I could never really connect with any other Gods or Goddesses. At this time I was also learning a lot about the ancient astronaut theory. (That's right, ancient aliens) I was making all these connections between what I was learning about paganism and the ancient gods of antiquity mixed with what little I know about human history and it just really made sense to me.
I know this is a very offshoot belief system that is not supported by historians or theologians alike. It's like I don't fit in with Christians OR Pagans. It's made it very difficult for me to find fellowship with like-minded individuals which has made it hard to maintain my eclectic spiritual practices. I did meet one friend a few years ago who was pagan and we had so much in common, right down to our careers! I haven't lost touch with her exactly but we are just on very different walks of life right now and it's been really hard to find time to connect. Plus, I always put in more effort than her, and I'm tired of that. She's going through a major transformation right now and I get it, it may not be personal. But, I still don't like feeling like I'm chasing her down so that we can talk Tarot and I can feel inspired to work on my spirituality.
Speaking of Tarot I should mention that I've read Tarot off and on since 2009. My favorite deck is the Tarot of Pagan Cats. I've always had a special connection with cats. Dogs too but cats going back to my childhood as I wasn't allowed to own a dog but I always had a cat. I'm not really into spells or big rituals but more practical ones like using shower water to wash off negativity or sweeping it out of my house with the broom. I would do more spells and rituals if I wasn't so deeply in the "broom closet". My husband and a few select friends are aware of my beliefs and hobbies but I have a deep fear of conflict and rejection (that took a lot of self-work to even recognize) and I can't bring myself to be more expressive of my beliefs or practice them in the open. My family and my husband's family are both very religious and I just cannot bring around to be honest with them. Again, this stifles my spirituality and ultimately leaves me feeling very lost sometimes in my own life and doings.
That said, I came here hoping to connect with some people who will accept me in spite of my alien beliefs and inspire me in my spiritual practices. I'm 35, a former teacher, I'm into gardening, cooking (not baking lol), camping/hiking/outdoors, music, animals, the enneagram (self-development tool), and currently toddlers because I have a 2-year-old. Thank you for reading my long post and if you need me I'll be scouring the site for tips for disguising an alter. I think an altar in my dining room would help remind me more often to take time to be spiritual but my mother-in-law comes over to my house all the time and she would be the most bothered by this more than anyone else AND she's the one most likely to bring it up..
Peace and love,
Rosie
I don't have great terms to define my spirituality. Eclectic would probably fit best. I was raised as a Christian and in my 20s I had a series of metaphysical experiences that sent me on a quest to learn more about them. I found this forum sometime back around 2012-2013 and I learned a LOT! But, try as I might I could never really connect with any other Gods or Goddesses. At this time I was also learning a lot about the ancient astronaut theory. (That's right, ancient aliens) I was making all these connections between what I was learning about paganism and the ancient gods of antiquity mixed with what little I know about human history and it just really made sense to me.
I know this is a very offshoot belief system that is not supported by historians or theologians alike. It's like I don't fit in with Christians OR Pagans. It's made it very difficult for me to find fellowship with like-minded individuals which has made it hard to maintain my eclectic spiritual practices. I did meet one friend a few years ago who was pagan and we had so much in common, right down to our careers! I haven't lost touch with her exactly but we are just on very different walks of life right now and it's been really hard to find time to connect. Plus, I always put in more effort than her, and I'm tired of that. She's going through a major transformation right now and I get it, it may not be personal. But, I still don't like feeling like I'm chasing her down so that we can talk Tarot and I can feel inspired to work on my spirituality.
Speaking of Tarot I should mention that I've read Tarot off and on since 2009. My favorite deck is the Tarot of Pagan Cats. I've always had a special connection with cats. Dogs too but cats going back to my childhood as I wasn't allowed to own a dog but I always had a cat. I'm not really into spells or big rituals but more practical ones like using shower water to wash off negativity or sweeping it out of my house with the broom. I would do more spells and rituals if I wasn't so deeply in the "broom closet". My husband and a few select friends are aware of my beliefs and hobbies but I have a deep fear of conflict and rejection (that took a lot of self-work to even recognize) and I can't bring myself to be more expressive of my beliefs or practice them in the open. My family and my husband's family are both very religious and I just cannot bring around to be honest with them. Again, this stifles my spirituality and ultimately leaves me feeling very lost sometimes in my own life and doings.
That said, I came here hoping to connect with some people who will accept me in spite of my alien beliefs and inspire me in my spiritual practices. I'm 35, a former teacher, I'm into gardening, cooking (not baking lol), camping/hiking/outdoors, music, animals, the enneagram (self-development tool), and currently toddlers because I have a 2-year-old. Thank you for reading my long post and if you need me I'll be scouring the site for tips for disguising an alter. I think an altar in my dining room would help remind me more often to take time to be spiritual but my mother-in-law comes over to my house all the time and she would be the most bothered by this more than anyone else AND she's the one most likely to bring it up..
Peace and love,
Rosie