I can appreciate what you need to do for yourself. Our journeys show us what we need if we listen. I commend you for that.
Alcohol has been the bane of many lives. Yet red wine and beer (not together!
) have significant health benefits in moderation.
Used in a ritual setting, was a place where I considered it holy and sacred and the aqua vita of the Gods, For many years that was the only place I consumed mead, abstaining all else until ritual eve, and then only one or two sips.
Then 911 happened and several of us sat around the fire and drank all day. It's a weird fluid that one can pour their grief into. Though used too frequently, it's grief will pour into one.
Best wishes on your quest.