Everything Under the Moon

Going into the new year I try to avoid making resolutions. I want to assess and acknowledge the things I would like to change,
but putting myself on a timeline for things like that is pretty inane.

What I learned this year is that 35 years of doing the same holidays, on the same schedules, has made it REALLY difficult for me
to shift gears and focus on the Sabbats instead of the christian and secular holidays I'm used to.
Most of my famlies traditions are tied to Christian holidays, and US military secular observances.

I've felt real guilt and a little bit of shame that I totally forgot 3 Sabbats this year and then on the ones I remembered,
we didn't do anything. I didn't do ritual, I didn't do community, I didn't even do a little remeberence at my shrine for the ancestors
and I utterly blew it in terms of settings places of honor for any celebration we did have.

I believe.
I want to do better at living the reality I want.
But I also know my family is very integrated into the christian traditions, even though they only recognize them as American cultural traditions.

I've only done ritual 3 times this year and those were in rather extreme situations where I just didn't know what else to do,
then I felt guilty because it seemed like I was just following the same Judeo-Christian pattern of praying when I needed something
like a begger at the door in the rain. And I hate feeling like that.


It is frustrating.

So for you younger people and those of you who are taking your spiritual lives into your own hands for the first time, Take Heed.

I'm struggling with this and I have control over my life. So if you are struggling too, know you aren't the only one.

What about you?

I understand you perfectly. I'm not a Wiccan,but my belief and practice are based on the wheel of the year.
I made a full ritual only on a few Sabbaths and that only because I wanted to cast some spells as well.
I'm ashamed of myself because on most of the Esbats and Sabbaths,I barely convinced myself to meditate and do a short prayer. I usually fell asleep before midnight when it was time for casting the circle and doing the ritual.
So....yeah,much regret afterwards. Hopefully, next year it will be better!

Shifting gears is hard, I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.
And Hey! It's good to see you again

To tell you the truth ...there are certainly moons that I still miss. I try to celebrate the full range of dark moons full moons and all the Sabbats but occasionally I find myself out of town and in a place where it isn't convenient to do such. On those occations I will try to get outside and gaze at the moon and let her light permeate my soul, yet I still find myself feeling a little sad and vacant. If I miss a holiday too I will think of the principals that go with the holiday but that is very unsatisfying.
Because we celebrate on the weekend closest to a moon or holiday (to be of convenience for those with a 9-5/work week) there are many times when the actual day is in the middle of the week. I feel somewhat less guilty if we have already had or will soon be having our ritual. The supermoon in October is one where I was at my moms and I fully intended to go to the park for a private session with the moon, yet it didn't work out, so I found myself standing in her backyard (with nasty streelight obscura) trying to soak in the rays.
Yule is a holiday where we would stay up till dawn...my body can't hack that anymore, and I miss it.

Do you keep a journal? You may be able to appreciate what you have done throughout the next year. Also, I can't remember if you had found other folks to celebrate with? Or are you a solitary?
Best wishes for a great new year!
Blessings, Firebird

I normally forget at least one sabbat... it happens sometimes.
I totally understand where you are coming from. It is frustrating. It sounds silly, but I've started setting reminders on my phone to send me messages the day before a sabbat/esbat so that I can at least say that I remembered and was mindful of the meaning of the day.

Oh man that is a great idea! I don't know why I didn't think of that. I set reminders on calendar for all kinds of stupid stuff.
I set reminders on my calendar for my Kids pay days so I can let them know if no one can drive them to the bank on payday. Cause my kids think it is 1989 and don't do direct deposit. Whatevs. Thanks Smogie.

Yeah I'm solitary. Don't really know anyone local that I could actually hang out with in a non "creepy old man in a van" kind of way.

Like you said, new year and all. Ha...funny because Wiccan new year happened in October and I'm still stuck on January 1'st.

One thing I've figured out is that the seasons will change, and the days of observance & customary feasting will be fulfilling whether or not I participate in a full out, solitary ritual or stand quietly, and breath deeply for a few minutes to align. My solitary feasting is coffee for me (bean or grape, the purpose is the same) & popcorn or dry cereal for the birds. It does not have to be cakes and ale/wine in a circle. It is the union and sharing that makes it a feast. Same for full Moon's. Just breathing and connecting, taking a moment to acknowledge the purpose, is sufficient. By giving myself permission to simplify my personal ritual, I made it more doable. I keep a pagan calendar on the fridge.

I was going to suggest piggy backing with Xn holidays, but I realized that is not satisfying.

I usually have a chance to acknowledge the holidays internally. Haven't had much of a chance to really celebrate.

Snow