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OK, I understand. Well, with this kind of thing, a lot of people are always looking for incantations, or crystals, or talismans, spells, etc. Usually, though, I have found the most powerful thing is to
change the part of one's own behavior that is somehow contributing to the problem. With that in mind, you have to REALLY BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF with where you might be nurturing the link to him, whether mentally, or physically, or both.
It's a matter of nurturing the link versus dissolving the link...
Nurturing the Link
This thread offers differing perspectives and advice on dealing with a psychic vampire:
psychic witch powers n energy vampires sos.
Note especially the view by some on that thread that expending a lot of your energy on "shielding" and whatnot can actually work against you in this case. I tend to agree with them wholeheartedly.
I really liked Dark Moon's two posts, one of which started with:
"The problem with this thread (apart from the 'Dark fluff' vibe) is that the OP is actually willingly participating in this process, by choice...No vampire or entity can create an attachment to you without an invitation of some sort...This creates an energetic link between you and it. It's good to examine how this occurred. Defense against spiritually predatory attacks (for example shielding) is essentially useless once this link has been created. This is especially so in the case of 'white light bubble' type shields, which eventually then form the vamps next dinner." She pretty much said everything I was thinking on the topic, so I didn't bother to post.
By the way, just to be clear, the reason I asked if you had/were sleeping with him is based on the above thread. In that thread, the OP whined and whined about some girl attacking him psychically --yet he was
still sleeping with her! I mean, honestly. That, for me, was a
record scratch, face/palm moment, lol.
He was nurturing the link then whining about the results. That's like some girl saying, "Oh, my boyfriend is
so abusive when he drinks. Help me, Kassandra. Oh, um, but first he and I are going to a bar right now to have a few drinks. So, I'll have to talk to you later. Bye bye." Huh? Why whine about a problem to which you're willingly, directly contributing? Dark Moon's words put the ball back in the whiner's court, but her advice probably went in one ear and out the other, given that he seemed quite fascinated with himself.
So, yeah, I asked that because if you were maintaining
that kind of energetic link with him (which is very powerful), then it would be a total waste of my time and keystrokes to respond to you at any length. Glad you're not.
My advice is to do a kind of "cleansing ritual," if you will:
Dissolving the Link
As far as the "gifts," mmm, I don't suggest you keep anything. Again, by keeping them around, you would be "nurturing the link." The items would always remind you of him, and even if only subconsciously, you would find yourself entertaining lingering memories of your encounters with him. You DON'T NEED
his stuff. It would be more empowering, I think, if you got your own stuff. If you can't afford to buy your own altar items and personal things, then maybe get a part time job or something and replace them little by little over time.
There might be some girlish part of you that felt "special" when he gave you these gifts, flattered, touched. But as firebirdflys mentioned, see these so-called gifts for WHAT THEY REALLY ARE. They weren't expressions of genuine affection; they were just tools of control and manipulation. He's probably given many girls "gifts" this way in the past, and will give them to many more in the future. You were probably just "one of many." If you think you were his "special student" or something, then you're probably fooling yourself. This is what I meant when I said in the beginning that we need to be honest with ourselves and look at what we might be doing to contribute to a problem we're experiencing.
1. Assemble the following:
* Blanket or large cloth you don't need
* Sharpie pen
* Hammer
* Large trash bag and bag tie
* Bundle of sage
2. Wrap every item he's ever given you in a pile in the blanket. Don't save anything, not even a card or note. Take it all outside, and with the hammer smash every item within the blanket. Simultaneously say and think words along the lines of "As I smash ALL these items, I also sever ALL energetic ties between you and me, in every way, in all timelines, in all dimensions. You have no power over me. As I have spoken it, SO IT IS!!" Then, take the blanket and put it in a garbage bag, and seal the bag. For kicks, you could write on the bag, "Return to Sender" with the Sharpie.
3. Go to the nearest dump (or large trash bin) and deposit the bag.
4. Go back home, take a hot, relaxing shower. As you rinse, imagine
all memories related to him, any cords, attachments, etc., in your auric field dissolving into the water. Watch the water going down the drain. Smile and really
feel this happening. Thank the water spirits for all their gracious help with this.
5. After getting dressed, go outside and sage your body, back and front. Then, sage your
entire house, especially your altar and your bedroom. As you do this think and/or say words repeatedly along the lines of "Any and all energies now return to their sender. Only my energy here, only peace and tranquility here." You may actually be able to see, clairvoyantly, little particles of his energy taking off from your premises and returning to his, and reattaching themselves there. It gets trippy. lol
6. End by lighting candles at your altar, and doing some kind of prayer/meditation of peace and harmony, being sure to express gratitude for the wisdom you've gained from the entire experience, but now you end it and move on.
Things should feel very, very "clean" by then, energetically.
As far as grounding, my sense is that you're very active, kind of "all over the place" energetically-speaking. Nothing wrong with that, but that kind of tendency is an energy vampire's favorite type of meal. It offers a lot of emotional energy to latch into, to "grab," so to speak. If anything, your thoughts and emotions need grounding the most. If you have a tendency toward being impatient, easy to anger, demanding your way, etc., learn to breathe deeply and control your thoughts and emotions.
Learn to let some things go. Don't try to win every (perceived) "fight" with people you deal with on a daily basis (I get the sense that people feel you are a bit combative with them, at times). It's very easy for energy vamps to disrupt your thoughts when they already tend to be ungrounded like this.
The solution to a problem is usually found in the problem itself. Since you say he's "in your thoughts," then put your thoughts on other things. Stop "looking at him" psychically-speaking. That's just what he wants you to do. Change your psychic "gaze." A couple of suggestions:
1. Start a new hobby or other interest that takes up a lot of your time and energy, and your thoughts will not be so easy for him to "grab." Taking
a spin class at a gym, for instance, will raise your endorphins so you feel great, but it will also poop you out so bad you won't have time to think about him. lol Hiking will also wear you out, and it's a great way to meet and chat with fun people.
2. Controlling guys like your witchy friend love to feel that they're the sun you orbit around. So nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, disrupts a guy's energy in your life than that of ANOTHER GUY, hahaha. If there's some guy friend you enjoy hanging out with, give him a call and make an "as friends" date (even if he's a gay guy; it's
still a guy). In fact, start hanging out with ALL your guy friends more frequently, or at least talk to them on the phone DAILY. This will work
like a charm, hehe.
The best defense is a good offense, as they say. Basically, what you're doing here is 1. Removing his energy from your aura, and 2. Filling in the vacancy with several streams of new, fresh, positive energy. If you do all these things, after a while his connection will dissipate. I've had to do all of the above TWO major times in my life. So, unfortunately, I learned the hard way they all work.
Perhaps others have suggestions for you...
The best to you.
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