Everything Under the Moon

My boyfriend wants to have kids,,, when im MUCH older that is.... Im not to sure if I want them only because I know depression is hereditary and I dont want to be selfish and bring a child into the world knowing that they might go through depression... I just dont know if I could handle being that selfish. I do want kids... well one at least but Im too scared that I will be a terrible parent and role model...

This is personal opinion only but I don't think you can full enrich a life if you have yet to live your own.

I understand you feel you have the deep desire to have children and I think thats wonderful but I also think you should take time to get to know yourself first.

The things we want at 13 are not what we want at 16, those are not what we want at 18 and certainly not at 21.

All I would say is take some time to find your own feet and the person you are meant to become before becoming responsible for someone else's feet and their future.

Although this area is not really my forte and this thread is ancient, I feel that I should assert my opinion. I am sure that this is very important to you, but I will never fully be able to understand your actual feelings. I believe (I could be off the mark here) that you either:

1) Have a VERY strong maternal/nurturing instinct (a very nice but rather unusual quality)

2) Experience loneliness, and you misinterpret the feeling as a desire to have a child

Solutions:

1) Buy a pet of some sort, any kind will do. Redirect the maternal feelings toward the pet. An alternative would be getting a plant and doing the same.

2) Network, network, network!!! Socialize with people at your school or place of work Better still...

Try volunteering! Depending on what type of volunteer work you do, you may end up in an area that deals with people directly. Solution 1 may alleviate the loneliness, too.

Also, you should consider your ability (or lack thereof) to care for the hypothetical child. It would seem rather selfish of you to have a child that you can't care for. His/her life would be miserable, and whatever welfare group exists in your area might take the child.Wouldn't you feel awful? Be responsible, love others, love yourself, and go in the peace of the Goddess. Blessed Be and Good Luck!

13Lotuses

I know the feeling of wanting kids. i'm sixteen and i'm not about to go and have a kid but the feeling is still there of wanting a kid and wanting to take care of them... my best friend said that she does to idk maybe its just hormones?