Everything Under the Moon

Magus, can you tell us a bit more about your situation? What do you think your mother's objections to Wicca might be? How might she react? What's changed such that you can't keep Wicca from your mother any longer?

She's getting suspicious. She thinks that Wicca is when you worship satan. The devil. She'll get extremely angry.

How angry might she get? Would she be really mad for a while but then come around, or do you think she might do something drastic? I might get some flak for this, but in my opinion (as someone who's grown up in an abusive home before) sometimes it's simply not safe to be honest and come clean about certain things; for people who feel like this is the case, I think absolutely it is better to try to keep it secret. I think you know best about your situation; what's your gut instinct on this?

I'm a parent myself, but I sort of agree with Xiao. Religion is a very personal choice, and as long as you are not hurting yourself or others, you should follow your true self. If it comes down to it, you can always say your a Christian Wiccan. It saddens me that your so afraid to tell her and you shouldn't feel like you'll be punished for it. Maybe you could make a spell to help her to be more compassionate and understanding of your spiritual path before she finds out?

On the other hand, if you don't tell her, your taking the risk that she might take it even harder. In the eyes of parents, hiding something means your doing something bad that your not supposed to. But, going back to what Xiao asked....what's she gonna do? Ground you? You can be Wiccan or do spells anytime or anywhere as long as you have your mind...so if this is the path you want to take, there's not much she can do about it. If your facing physical punishment though, I'd keep it to myself.

Generally, I subscribe to the belief that honesty is the best policy, and people should be true to themselves. I think that keeping the craft secret was done to preserve life in a time when you could be slain for your beliefs. Where I live, there's no fear of being burned at the stake. The only negative consequence is becoming a social outcast, but that's one that I'd take any day over lying about who I am. When I was young, I was very open about my beliefs and my real friends stuck by me. My parents didn't exactly approve of my beliefs, but they were genuine and didn't attempt to block my seeking knowledge.

Unfortunately, I know there are parents who do all in their power, including issuing physical punishment, to stop their kids from learning about witchcraft or any other religion. And this is one of those cases where I would support hiding your true feelings, but only to the point when you can truly be yourself. In my opinion, parents who are so insecure about their own beliefs that they feel they need to become violent with their children will be doomed to a bleak future of their own making.

Respect for everyone is a good policy to adopt, in my opinion. And if you're a minor, or someone not living on your own, you should respect the requests of those who help support you. This may include not doing certain things under their roof. But this also doesn't mean you need to lie about who you are, unless you do happen to be in a position where violence is being threatened. (And really, if this is the case, there are people you can/should talk to. Real physical violence should never be allowed to persist.)

But what of petty consequences that don't include violence? I say stand up for who you are, regardless of what might happen. Will they take away your books? Take away your computer/Internet privileges? Stop you from going out? I say let them. At least you'll have the honor of being true to yourself, which I personally feel is much more important.

My children are 10/5 (and 3 but he's still to little) - I told them it was our secret and we should only talk about it with family (meaning each other and dad).
That was fine with them - and it's fine with me.

I understand you're afraid of your sons becoming outcasts -- I'd also be.

My daughter is old enough to know whom to tell what - my son is interested in the craft as well. I don't know if he'll keep it a secret or not. But he isn't as outgoing as others so he might really keep it a family thing.