a formal conversation with the church "council" ab

Post by **Revolpathon** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:40 pm

well i have this conversation coming up with the church counsil (for lack of better terms) about my withdraw from the church

has anyone expierenced this, and how did it went, can anyone give me some pointers?

Post by **Sobek** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 4:45 pm

i'd skip it...

Post by **Revolpathon** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 6:58 pm

I can't I have to do it, parent's are forcing me to do it besides
I don't want my name tied to the church

[offtopic] posting on a mobile phone is tedious

Post by **Revolpathon** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:01 pm

I can't I have to do it, parent's are forcing me to do it besides
I don't want my name tied to the church

[offtopic] posting on a mobile phone is tedious

Post by **Elem** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:03 pm

Blech, mobile phone posting - Can imagine that gets more than tedious!

If your parents are forcing you then I guess you have no choice but to go through with it.. As for advice, I really couldn't say - I've not been in this situation before. I'm pretty positive some of the others here may have been though..

What are they likely to talk about? Are they going to try and convert you and bring you back to their 'flock'? Good luck, either way..

Elem

Post by **Sercee** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:07 am

I definately think you should go. If you're mature and responsible about your decision to follow a different religion it will be easier for your family and their community to respect you for it.

I suggest you spend some time to yourself beforehand going over the main points of why you don't feel their religion is right for you (make sure you're not rude about it!) and why you chose your new religion. The religion you chose isn't truly their business, but it's probably going to come up and it's good to have things to say that point out that you're not just a rebellious devil worshipper or something like that. Just be honest, don't be defensive (if you don't know or can't think of a proper argument just let them know you're constantly learning as everyone should be) and be polite and confident.

You'll do fine.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:25 am

well elem yes i am 99 percent sure they will try.

sercee guess i still have some reading to do then

but i think i can manage, it's just that i hate talking bout it.

and it's hard not to be rude because one of the council members was responsible for allot of my problems so... i think an argument is very possible. but i'll try to keep myself in line if he does.

Post by **Sercee** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:00 am

Reading and thinking are good. That way you aren't in there saying "I wanna be pagan because you Christians suck and are mean to me and stuff and I hate church" (etc etc) but something productive and thought out. You don't have to memorize every Ferrar book out there or anything, just understand the basic principles of your religion and why they make sense to you. For example, thoughts on the afterlife (for me reincarnation makes a lot more sense than heaven) or natural balance (light and dark aren't necessarily good and evil). Those are some more Wiccan examples, I'm not sure exactly what path you're taking, but it's a starting point.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:14 am

pagan in general i did that test and it said shamanism so i'm closed to that but i don't agree with some point's there but i know what i believe

and i won't go there with the being rude part i will try to keep it civil, maybe i will request to speak with the reverand, i can speak to him without grudge's since he is an understanding person. might make things a whole lot easier

thanks for all the support

Post by **Peregrine** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 7:30 am

Does your church allow for formal meetings of this nature, to withdraw for whatever reasons? Lucky you.

There was no such thing where I went. While I love a lot of them there dearly still to this day, they do not understand that I cannot believe how they want me to believe. I just had to sneak out the back door, so to speak. I got letters and phone calls, even a few visits at my front door at home, but I avoided them. They meant well, but they do not understand.

If it has already been done, I hope your meeting went well. Be civil, like the others said, and give your appreciation for the good you got out of their teachings. There is wisdom to be gained but if you just cannot encompass it as a whole anymore, then there is no reason why they should feel deceived. It is better in the long run.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:23 pm

it will be next month but i like to be prepared

and it's not allowed, it's mandatory

Post by **[EarthWitch]** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:43 pm

May I ask what Religion/church is it that requires you to do this?

Post by **Sercee** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 4:35 pm

It's MANDATORY?
I'm curious what sort of measures they have for punishment or anything in case someone decided they just didn't want to go back. 'Cause, if they're relying on "You're going to go to hell!!!" then that ain't gonna work on somebody who's leaving because they don't believe in the same fairy tales...

What denomination is it?

Post by **[ForestWitch]** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:38 pm

I'm curious about what denomination this is, too. I don't see how, if you are an adult, self-sufficient person, anyone can force you to do this. Because there were people there I cared about, when I left my church I took the time to write a letter to Session (governing body) explaining that I felt called to move in a different spiritual direction, but I just can't imagine how anyone could have forced me to participate in a face-to-face interview!

I imagine it's because I'm middle aged and known to be blunt and outspoken, but really, no one questioned me at all about my decision, and I'm still quite friendly with many of the people I knew at church. To their credit, no one from that church ever snubbed me when they encountered me in public.

If I were you, I simply wouldn't do it. But if you truly can't avoid it, I agree; be sure you're prepared to calmly and logically state your reasons.

Post by **Revolpathon** » Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:38 pm

well in dutch it's called 'gereformeeerd vrijgemaakt' if I translate that I get reformed christian/protestant

but I haven't read up on christian believes in english so I could be wrong.
but it is basicly just christianity

I think the usual scare tactics is what they use and allot of talking to back you in a corner using your own words.

I am not afraid they will succed though.

edit: f0orest I just missed your post but yeah first I have to write a letter, then they will contact me (even if I tell them not to) because they want to hear my reasons face to face, and also try to conert me back.

I don't have friends in the church but I do not dislike them all only the fundy's and the one's who bully in god's name or some other stupid reasoN to justify it. only the referand isn't in my 'bad' book (of the governing body thnx for that) so maybe they will grant that wish to only speak to him if they have to speak to me.